Joe Buonfiglio
@joebuonfiglio.bsky.social
Author & Literary Absurdist. Karma Extractor: On-Call Nihilist Evacuations.... Sure I have OCD; but man, do my toilets shine! ... ©+All Rights Reserved.
https://www.JoeBuonfiglio.com
https://www.JoeBuonfiglio.com
Pinned
The world has become an #absurd place. Own it; embrace the #madness with my #dystopian #absurdist #fiction #dark #humor #books. Get your #weird on and pick one up today!
You know.
Before you wind up having to burn them for fuel.
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
You know.
Before you wind up having to burn them for fuel.
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
Are you or someone you know a lover of #dystopian #dark #absurdist-#humor?
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy these #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy these #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
Donald Trump ... without question, without qualifier ... is the most narcissistic piece of absolute shit to ever ... fucking EVER ... occupy our great nation's Oval Office.
If you think THIS is an appropriate response by the sitting President, you're irredeemably deplorable.
If you think THIS is an appropriate response by the sitting President, you're irredeemably deplorable.
December 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Donald Trump ... without question, without qualifier ... is the most narcissistic piece of absolute shit to ever ... fucking EVER ... occupy our great nation's Oval Office.
If you think THIS is an appropriate response by the sitting President, you're irredeemably deplorable.
If you think THIS is an appropriate response by the sitting President, you're irredeemably deplorable.
Q: How are people still duped into following this guy?
A: They aren't; they're just like him in the cruelty, racism, sexism and hatred of others. He lets them feel good in blaming "them" for what's wrong in their own lives instead of taking responsibility.
He leads by example.
A: They aren't; they're just like him in the cruelty, racism, sexism and hatred of others. He lets them feel good in blaming "them" for what's wrong in their own lives instead of taking responsibility.
He leads by example.
December 15, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Q: How are people still duped into following this guy?
A: They aren't; they're just like him in the cruelty, racism, sexism and hatred of others. He lets them feel good in blaming "them" for what's wrong in their own lives instead of taking responsibility.
He leads by example.
A: They aren't; they're just like him in the cruelty, racism, sexism and hatred of others. He lets them feel good in blaming "them" for what's wrong in their own lives instead of taking responsibility.
He leads by example.
December 15, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Are you or someone you know a lover of #dystopian #dark #absurdist-#humor?
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy this and my other #weird #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy this and my other #weird #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
December 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Are you or someone you know a lover of #dystopian #dark #absurdist-#humor?
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy this and my other #weird #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy this and my other #weird #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
This year, my wife's Christmas decorating included putting THIS in our bathroom's water closet. Now Santa watches me when I pee.
"He sees you when you're peeing. He knows when you whip it out. He knows if you treat your penis bad or good, so..."
The stuff of nightmares ... literally.
#Christmas
"He sees you when you're peeing. He knows when you whip it out. He knows if you treat your penis bad or good, so..."
The stuff of nightmares ... literally.
#Christmas
December 13, 2025 at 4:57 PM
This year, my wife's Christmas decorating included putting THIS in our bathroom's water closet. Now Santa watches me when I pee.
"He sees you when you're peeing. He knows when you whip it out. He knows if you treat your penis bad or good, so..."
The stuff of nightmares ... literally.
#Christmas
"He sees you when you're peeing. He knows when you whip it out. He knows if you treat your penis bad or good, so..."
The stuff of nightmares ... literally.
#Christmas
Walmart's holiday customer-service philosophy: "If you can't find it on the shelf, just consider that as meaning we don't have it in stock until after Christmas.... ... ... No, I will not check the computerized inventory or stockroom. What do you think this is, Target?"
#Xmas?
#Xmas?
December 12, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Walmart's holiday customer-service philosophy: "If you can't find it on the shelf, just consider that as meaning we don't have it in stock until after Christmas.... ... ... No, I will not check the computerized inventory or stockroom. What do you think this is, Target?"
#Xmas?
#Xmas?
As an absurdist, let me tell you that THESE people understand how to celebrate Christmas!
Hope you have yourself an #absurd little #Christmas.
Hope you have yourself an #absurd little #Christmas.
December 11, 2025 at 4:33 PM
As an absurdist, let me tell you that THESE people understand how to celebrate Christmas!
Hope you have yourself an #absurd little #Christmas.
Hope you have yourself an #absurd little #Christmas.
You know what I miss most about college?
The learning?
No.
All the booze, drugs and sex?
You'd think so, but no.
The camaraderie?
Oh, hell no!
It's the lack of ironing. I never ironed a goddamn thing. Just went around a wrinkled mess. I couldn't care less.
Wonderful!
The learning?
No.
All the booze, drugs and sex?
You'd think so, but no.
The camaraderie?
Oh, hell no!
It's the lack of ironing. I never ironed a goddamn thing. Just went around a wrinkled mess. I couldn't care less.
Wonderful!
December 11, 2025 at 2:31 AM
You know what I miss most about college?
The learning?
No.
All the booze, drugs and sex?
You'd think so, but no.
The camaraderie?
Oh, hell no!
It's the lack of ironing. I never ironed a goddamn thing. Just went around a wrinkled mess. I couldn't care less.
Wonderful!
The learning?
No.
All the booze, drugs and sex?
You'd think so, but no.
The camaraderie?
Oh, hell no!
It's the lack of ironing. I never ironed a goddamn thing. Just went around a wrinkled mess. I couldn't care less.
Wonderful!
I had reached the point where I felt everyone in the world had gone mad but me.
And that's why I immediately knew.
The madman was me.
And that's why I immediately knew.
The madman was me.
December 10, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I had reached the point where I felt everyone in the world had gone mad but me.
And that's why I immediately knew.
The madman was me.
And that's why I immediately knew.
The madman was me.
Seriously? Are you kidding? Do I look like a holiday crafter to you?
Oh.
Here, let me shove that Styrofoam ball up your ass and ask again.
Oh.
Here, let me shove that Styrofoam ball up your ass and ask again.
December 9, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Seriously? Are you kidding? Do I look like a holiday crafter to you?
Oh.
Here, let me shove that Styrofoam ball up your ass and ask again.
Oh.
Here, let me shove that Styrofoam ball up your ass and ask again.
WORDS I JUST INVENTED NUMBER 629: "Twisturbator"
DEFINITION: The act of playing naked Twister by yourself.
(Twisturbator™)
#MondayThoughts
DEFINITION: The act of playing naked Twister by yourself.
(Twisturbator™)
#MondayThoughts
December 8, 2025 at 11:12 PM
WORDS I JUST INVENTED NUMBER 629: "Twisturbator"
DEFINITION: The act of playing naked Twister by yourself.
(Twisturbator™)
#MondayThoughts
DEFINITION: The act of playing naked Twister by yourself.
(Twisturbator™)
#MondayThoughts
Life buckles under the weight of mediocrity. Whatever you do, do it to the extreme.
So yes, you heard me right. I'll take TWO dozen doughnuts and a grande coffee!
( #MondayMotivation with #Monday #CoffeeTime )
So yes, you heard me right. I'll take TWO dozen doughnuts and a grande coffee!
( #MondayMotivation with #Monday #CoffeeTime )
December 8, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Life buckles under the weight of mediocrity. Whatever you do, do it to the extreme.
So yes, you heard me right. I'll take TWO dozen doughnuts and a grande coffee!
( #MondayMotivation with #Monday #CoffeeTime )
So yes, you heard me right. I'll take TWO dozen doughnuts and a grande coffee!
( #MondayMotivation with #Monday #CoffeeTime )
December 7, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Reposted by Joe Buonfiglio
Are you or someone you know a lover of #dystopian #dark #absurdist-#humor?
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy these #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy these #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
The world has become an #absurd place. Own it; embrace the #madness with my #dystopian #absurdist #fiction #dark #humor #books. Get your #weird on and pick one up today!
You know.
Before you wind up having to burn them for fuel.
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
You know.
Before you wind up having to burn them for fuel.
BUY HERE on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/stores/Joe-B...
November 29, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Are you or someone you know a lover of #dystopian #dark #absurdist-#humor?
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy these #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
Don't get caught in the #holiday shopping frenzy. Buy these #book 📕 #gifts 🎁 on Amazon now!
👇👇👇
A childhood horror that forever warped me and perpetuated my lifelong existential crisis.
December 6, 2025 at 9:34 PM
A childhood horror that forever warped me and perpetuated my lifelong existential crisis.
But ... But ... But, what if I want to fuck the fish?
NOW how do I celebrate the holidays?!
NOW how do I celebrate the holidays?!
December 6, 2025 at 2:29 PM
But ... But ... But, what if I want to fuck the fish?
NOW how do I celebrate the holidays?!
NOW how do I celebrate the holidays?!
"The first-ever FIFA Peace Prize was awarded on December 5, 2025 to Donald Trump."
A fake prize for a fake president.
A fake prize for a fake president.
December 5, 2025 at 7:41 PM
"The first-ever FIFA Peace Prize was awarded on December 5, 2025 to Donald Trump."
A fake prize for a fake president.
A fake prize for a fake president.
Except to distract from the economy and the Epstein files.
... And to have an excuse to illegally declare martial law and throw America into a fascist state.
... And to have an excuse to illegally declare martial law and throw America into a fascist state.
December 5, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Except to distract from the economy and the Epstein files.
... And to have an excuse to illegally declare martial law and throw America into a fascist state.
... And to have an excuse to illegally declare martial law and throw America into a fascist state.
My wife likes incredibly strong coffee. I enjoy a milder cup of brew. I just found out she's been lying to me and secretly making the coffee SIGNIFICANTLY stronger than she has been telling me.
Abject betrayal!
I just told her this is coffee grounds for divorce.
#CoffeeTalk
Abject betrayal!
I just told her this is coffee grounds for divorce.
#CoffeeTalk
December 4, 2025 at 3:31 PM
My wife likes incredibly strong coffee. I enjoy a milder cup of brew. I just found out she's been lying to me and secretly making the coffee SIGNIFICANTLY stronger than she has been telling me.
Abject betrayal!
I just told her this is coffee grounds for divorce.
#CoffeeTalk
Abject betrayal!
I just told her this is coffee grounds for divorce.
#CoffeeTalk
December 4, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I ... am ... FARTACUS!
December 3, 2025 at 11:57 AM
I ... am ... FARTACUS!
The consequences of my bad actions usual involve me engaging in even worse actions.
December 2, 2025 at 2:40 PM
The consequences of my bad actions usual involve me engaging in even worse actions.
Okay, in retrospect, perhaps this is not the best birthday present I've ever gotten my wife.
(NOTE TO SELF: Never shop for your wife's birthday gift at the Stephen King Outlet Store on Black Friday ever again.... Never.... Never ever ever.)
(NOTE TO SELF: Never shop for your wife's birthday gift at the Stephen King Outlet Store on Black Friday ever again.... Never.... Never ever ever.)
December 1, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Okay, in retrospect, perhaps this is not the best birthday present I've ever gotten my wife.
(NOTE TO SELF: Never shop for your wife's birthday gift at the Stephen King Outlet Store on Black Friday ever again.... Never.... Never ever ever.)
(NOTE TO SELF: Never shop for your wife's birthday gift at the Stephen King Outlet Store on Black Friday ever again.... Never.... Never ever ever.)
Porn Hub? I thought you said I should check out Corn Pub.
I'm pretty drunk on high-fructose syrup right now.
I'm pretty drunk on high-fructose syrup right now.
November 30, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Porn Hub? I thought you said I should check out Corn Pub.
I'm pretty drunk on high-fructose syrup right now.
I'm pretty drunk on high-fructose syrup right now.