Last fall, my 8th grader unfortunately heard my wife and me arguing about finances, and so intervened, “Don’t worry, when I grow up, I can help you out with money.” I joked: “Can I get that in writing?” She took it literally, but was clever enough to qualify a “some” into this sticky note contract.

My wife timed her deliveries of boxed furniture well! She says it is much cheaper than buying “real furniture” (prebuilt and made of wood)…which is true when ignoring the externalities of my assembling it for zero dollars and all the foam packaging waste… (At least no parts were missing.)

How professors let loose during Spring Break!

Celebrating my Polish heritage in a completely self-serving way.

Filled with lemon, apple, raspberry, and Boston crème, which I sliced to show self control… until promptly eating both halves.

Unexpected C. elegans on a bakery display at Big Y supermarket.

My 3rd grade son’s life ambition is to be a YouTuber, recording himself playing VR Gorilla Tag for his followers.

Not sure how I feel, since there is a high likelihood that as a merch-selling influencer, he could easily out-earn a non-tenure track professor. 😔

I surprised my wife with a reproduction of this somber 1868 oil painting titled “The Last Hours of Lincoln” as a Christmas gift b/c we live in the house of the woman seated in the chair, Mary Cogswell Kinney, who was called upon by her close friend First Lady Mary Lincoln (kneeling over the bed).

Seeking volunteer to explore the new hole I made in the 2nd floor of my house. Cannot have a nut allergy; walnut cache present and the resident red squirrel may or may not be friendly if disturbed. Plywood planking, headlamp, and rope tether provided. (Tug twice to be pulled back.)

The next time you encounter a gloomy, environmentally-conscious friend, show some compassion: We’ve been faithfully, futilely recycling plastics for two decades. It’s hard for us to keep up the delusion that they aren’t just going to the landfill sparklingly clean. (Even my dog looks despondent.)

Though never on my shopping list, I cannot resist its siren’s call, and carry home the half gallon of silky comfort that proclaims the coming of the holidays truer than any celestial clock, assuring humanity that light and warmth can still be savored during this dark and frozen season.

Nothing says, “I picked up my kid’s birthday present for your 9-yr old son’s party while rushing over to your house” like discovering this card in his pile!And it was blank on the inside, adding to the mystery and creating suspicions for years to come!