Eli J
@jmnz1000.bsky.social
Embracing the cringe and writing down my feelings
God’s only mistake
God’s only mistake
Reposted by Eli J
Sucks they never got to collab
May 7, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Sucks they never got to collab
Mom came to visit me at work today, so I’ll keep living haha
May 1, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Mom came to visit me at work today, so I’ll keep living haha
I feel like it’s difficult to express my feelings without worrying about how other will hear them… I always feel like an edge lord saying depressing things I think
I live life thinking I deserve to be killed or would rather be dead than making people that know me suffer by existing
Fucking lame
I live life thinking I deserve to be killed or would rather be dead than making people that know me suffer by existing
Fucking lame
April 30, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I feel like it’s difficult to express my feelings without worrying about how other will hear them… I always feel like an edge lord saying depressing things I think
I live life thinking I deserve to be killed or would rather be dead than making people that know me suffer by existing
Fucking lame
I live life thinking I deserve to be killed or would rather be dead than making people that know me suffer by existing
Fucking lame
I think my parents made a mistake having me fr — thinking we’d all be better if I were on the earth these last three 3ish decades
April 30, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I think my parents made a mistake having me fr — thinking we’d all be better if I were on the earth these last three 3ish decades
You look beautiful still, it’s unfortunate that we grew apart
I’m learning that we weren’t a good match for a long while
It’s been devastating
I’m learning that we weren’t a good match for a long while
It’s been devastating
April 18, 2025 at 7:27 AM
You look beautiful still, it’s unfortunate that we grew apart
I’m learning that we weren’t a good match for a long while
It’s been devastating
I’m learning that we weren’t a good match for a long while
It’s been devastating
In more positive news a girl gave me her last chicken strip at canes, so that’s nice
March 29, 2025 at 6:41 AM
In more positive news a girl gave me her last chicken strip at canes, so that’s nice
Keep it a thouwow my life will now NEVER look like what I had anticipated
Wild shit
Wild shit
March 29, 2025 at 6:23 AM
Keep it a thouwow my life will now NEVER look like what I had anticipated
Wild shit
Wild shit
Happy to be alive today, it’s a unique feeling
March 20, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Happy to be alive today, it’s a unique feeling
Reposted by Eli J
i have spent the first 22ish cognizant years of my life with intense paranoia about literally everything i or others do and it still causes me to have pretty rough overthinking spirals. i appreciate the grace offered by my longtime friends when it gets real bad
March 13, 2025 at 7:16 PM
i have spent the first 22ish cognizant years of my life with intense paranoia about literally everything i or others do and it still causes me to have pretty rough overthinking spirals. i appreciate the grace offered by my longtime friends when it gets real bad
Got the call to pick up my old dog from the groomer - I hope that sweet girl is so comfy in the sun with her fresh cut - bittersweet as always
March 11, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Got the call to pick up my old dog from the groomer - I hope that sweet girl is so comfy in the sun with her fresh cut - bittersweet as always
How long until big stationary uses lobbyists to make sending and receiving pictures through text a micro transaction
March 10, 2025 at 4:16 PM
How long until big stationary uses lobbyists to make sending and receiving pictures through text a micro transaction
Someone wore perfume that smelled of that past, it was a nice reminder
March 6, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Someone wore perfume that smelled of that past, it was a nice reminder
I’ve lost every single person that I once held dearly, so I can’t really be convinced otherwise
I might not do it myself, but I guess let me be clear that I don’t think I should be kept alive. I’m worthless since over a year.
I might not do it myself, but I guess let me be clear that I don’t think I should be kept alive. I’m worthless since over a year.
March 5, 2025 at 8:37 AM
I’ve lost every single person that I once held dearly, so I can’t really be convinced otherwise
I might not do it myself, but I guess let me be clear that I don’t think I should be kept alive. I’m worthless since over a year.
I might not do it myself, but I guess let me be clear that I don’t think I should be kept alive. I’m worthless since over a year.
It’s tough because I believe and have been telling myself that I am God’s one mistake
That’s not really something that can be reconciled
That’s not really something that can be reconciled
March 5, 2025 at 8:26 AM
It’s tough because I believe and have been telling myself that I am God’s one mistake
That’s not really something that can be reconciled
That’s not really something that can be reconciled
The challenge here is that I didn’t expect to be alive this long while not realizing that I’ve never wanted to be alive.
But I’m far too cowardly to do what likely needs to be done.
I’m in anguish knowing my existence is suffering for others and my ending would also lead to suffering for some.
But I’m far too cowardly to do what likely needs to be done.
I’m in anguish knowing my existence is suffering for others and my ending would also lead to suffering for some.
March 5, 2025 at 8:19 AM
The challenge here is that I didn’t expect to be alive this long while not realizing that I’ve never wanted to be alive.
But I’m far too cowardly to do what likely needs to be done.
I’m in anguish knowing my existence is suffering for others and my ending would also lead to suffering for some.
But I’m far too cowardly to do what likely needs to be done.
I’m in anguish knowing my existence is suffering for others and my ending would also lead to suffering for some.
My world has crumbled around me and I just have to make a new one instead of dying
It’s an odd space to be in. Life is always this way, but it feels like it shouldn’t be
I’m supposed to treat this as a privilege to exist, while at the same time not believing I’m hell incarnate
Could I know peace?
It’s an odd space to be in. Life is always this way, but it feels like it shouldn’t be
I’m supposed to treat this as a privilege to exist, while at the same time not believing I’m hell incarnate
Could I know peace?
March 5, 2025 at 8:14 AM
My world has crumbled around me and I just have to make a new one instead of dying
It’s an odd space to be in. Life is always this way, but it feels like it shouldn’t be
I’m supposed to treat this as a privilege to exist, while at the same time not believing I’m hell incarnate
Could I know peace?
It’s an odd space to be in. Life is always this way, but it feels like it shouldn’t be
I’m supposed to treat this as a privilege to exist, while at the same time not believing I’m hell incarnate
Could I know peace?
Tamales at 2am, a really special experience
March 5, 2025 at 8:07 AM
Tamales at 2am, a really special experience
I hope that y’all are okay… I wish I could be an anchor
March 5, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I hope that y’all are okay… I wish I could be an anchor
You used to tell me you were going to take me with you – I don’t think I’ll ever go there now
I guess that’s good for us both
Why am I even mentioning it. Too much time has already passed.
I guess that’s good for us both
Why am I even mentioning it. Too much time has already passed.
March 4, 2025 at 10:51 PM
You used to tell me you were going to take me with you – I don’t think I’ll ever go there now
I guess that’s good for us both
Why am I even mentioning it. Too much time has already passed.
I guess that’s good for us both
Why am I even mentioning it. Too much time has already passed.
I’ll never have been good enough, but I can learn to accept what I am good for
February 27, 2025 at 5:30 AM
I’ll never have been good enough, but I can learn to accept what I am good for
I’m in agonizing pain
February 26, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I’m in agonizing pain
I’m haunted in my dreams and mocked by versions of you and yours that I make up in my sorrow filled subconscious
Will I ever know peace? Can I continue knowing that I will never escape all the burdens of guilt and shame? I’m not worth my space
Will I ever know peace? Can I continue knowing that I will never escape all the burdens of guilt and shame? I’m not worth my space
February 26, 2025 at 4:42 AM
I’m haunted in my dreams and mocked by versions of you and yours that I make up in my sorrow filled subconscious
Will I ever know peace? Can I continue knowing that I will never escape all the burdens of guilt and shame? I’m not worth my space
Will I ever know peace? Can I continue knowing that I will never escape all the burdens of guilt and shame? I’m not worth my space
I am sad, but I want to get better
February 24, 2025 at 10:43 PM
I am sad, but I want to get better
Got no idea how bad I don’t want to wake up
February 23, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Got no idea how bad I don’t want to wake up