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jess.asstrophe.lol
jessican’t🤍
@jess.asstrophe.lol
390 followers 300 following 510 posts
sometimes i’m funny
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jess.asstrophe.lol
trying to teach our 5 year old to face time, didn’t pick up one time cause i was getting juice and saw this notification on my phone
June 29, 2025 at 11:33 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
me driving like
a little hamster driving a red car that says “oops that was illegal but it’s fine”
June 27, 2025 at 5:05 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
when you go to your master’s pre interview where you’d become a psychotherapist with this as your pfp
June 26, 2025 at 10:32 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
an open book with a page that reads: “Society’s answer to an increase in diagnoses shouldn’t be, ‘Oh my god, everyone has ADHD and autism now.’ It should be, ‘Oh my god, how did we manage to let so many people down?”
June 24, 2025 at 6:44 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
A two-panel meme using a scene from “The Eric Andre Show.” In the first panel, Eric Andre is shooting a man sitting in a chair, labeled “iran,” while Andre himself is labeled “trump.” In the second panel, the man is slumped over, appearing shot, and Eric Andre turns to the camera with a confused expression. The bottom caption reads: “I DEMAND A CEASEFIRE.”
June 24, 2025 at 12:14 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
when my teenager daughter asks me why i never get angry
A scene from a Barbie animated movie showing two blonde female characters, one older and one younger, sitting together outside a wooden cabin. The older girl has her arm around the younger one and is looking at her kindly. Both are wearing hoodies. The image includes a humorous and dark caption in bold white text with a black outline that reads: “girl idk what to tell you i’m on 5 drugs rn just to not kill myself so like”.
June 24, 2025 at 12:07 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
is anyone else’s indoor cat violently pissed off with them because they think it’s your fault the house is so hot
very angry seal ragdoll cat
June 21, 2025 at 6:03 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
exhausted by all the drama
June 5, 2025 at 8:55 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
i asked for teddy’s reaction to all of this
a seal ragdoll cat with the expression on his face that he couldn’t give two fucks
June 5, 2025 at 8:26 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
tweet from Donald J. Trump: do you ever look back and think i shouldn’t have let them see my (•)(•)
June 5, 2025 at 8:21 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
A meme is split into two panels. The left panel shows two girls fighting outdoors in a dusty area, with others watching in the background. Overlaid text reads “TRUMP AND ELON.” The right panel shows a shirtless boy casually sitting and using a bong, seemingly unfazed by the chaos next to him. Overlaid text reads “ME.”
June 5, 2025 at 8:16 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
this is real btw
June 5, 2025 at 8:09 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
A close-up photo shows a person receiving eyelash extensions, with tape and tools applied around their eyes. Overlaid text reads: ‘🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈’. Below, it says: ‘Full sets for Lgbtq $30’ and ‘Full sets for straight people $100’. At the bottom, the text reads: ‘Im checking’.
June 2, 2025 at 11:54 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
chris: i haven’t had a moment to myself all day
chris 12 hours ago:
Chris, caught in 4K, sipping a latte in peace like he’s george clooney in an espresso commercial, 12 hours before claiming he hasn’t had a second to himself.
May 7, 2025 at 10:44 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
a baby squirrel
May 7, 2025 at 10:33 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
A digitally altered classical-style painting shows a solemn man resembling Pedro Pascal handing a metal railing to a dismayed young woman in historical clothing. The caption humorously reads: “Me getting handed a railing by Pedro Pascal because the genie misinterpreted my wish.”
May 6, 2025 at 10:54 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
Tony Blair says there’s ‘hysteria’ around climate change.

Says the guy who sold a whole war on imaginary WMDs.

If anyone knows manufactured hysteria, it’s him.
Screenshot of a Daily Mail article with the headline: “Tony Blair says Net Zero push has become ‘irrational’ and ‘hysterical’ and warns critics of green energy costs must not be dismissed as ‘climate deniers’”
April 30, 2025 at 2:46 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
kuromi from hello kitty stands on a grassy background, looking annoyed af. Text above reads: i don’t get enough credit for acting far less insane than i actually
April 28, 2025 at 3:51 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
when you and your worst enemy are the last two in musical chairs
April 27, 2025 at 12:25 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
Discovered that I am the orange M&M
A display of colourful M&M’s branded luggage tags hanging on hooks. The focus is on an orange tag featuring the orange M&M character looking worried, with the text: "i’m fragile – handle WITH CARE"
April 24, 2025 at 3:26 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
have ordered chris and me t-shirts for thursday
March 15, 2025 at 12:22 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
why did this baby kill phil mitchell
a baby wearing a “i shot phil mitchell” onesie
March 8, 2025 at 12:23 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
i’m also confused
A movie review screenshot from a film tracking app. The review is for the 2025 horror film The Monkey. The main image features a creepy mechanical monkey toy with large, unnerving eyes, wearing a red vest and holding cymbals in a dimly lit bedroom. The film is rated three and a half stars. Below, the reviewer, Killian (marked as a Patron), humorously comments, 'I’m sorry but what does this have to do with Robbie Williams?' The post has 11,703 likes. A small movie poster for The Monkey appears on the right, showing a close-up of the monkey’s eerie face
March 2, 2025 at 5:47 PM
jess.asstrophe.lol
it’s just been one of those days
An image of a person in a wooded area, throwing a black garbage bag into the distance. The caption above the image reads: 'Me submitting an essay that I started writing at 11:40pm & that's due at 11:59pm,'
January 30, 2025 at 12:07 AM
jess.asstrophe.lol
me getting ready for going on my little mental health walk with @chris.asstrophe.lol
view through a crack in the door - a young girl with long brown hair, visibly upset while brushing her hair, in a bathroom
January 18, 2025 at 9:16 PM