Jermz
@jeremypayton.bsky.social
A writer with ADHD. Horror lover. True crime and documentary enthusiast. Active Pokemon Go
Trainer. Sports enjoyer. Coffee guzzler. Retired wannabe rockstar. Dog dad. Not a foodie.
Trainer. Sports enjoyer. Coffee guzzler. Retired wannabe rockstar. Dog dad. Not a foodie.
Working on a laptop without a mouse is a fate worse than death.
August 28, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Working on a laptop without a mouse is a fate worse than death.
August 8, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Whatever Cleveland does at 2 in the draft, I’m in.
🏈 Shedeur Sanders, I’m in.
🏈 Abdul Carter, I’m in.
🏈 Travis Hunter, I’m in.
🏈 Trade it for a 1 next year, I’m in.
🏈 Trade up and get Cam Ward, I’m in.
#Browns
🏈 Shedeur Sanders, I’m in.
🏈 Abdul Carter, I’m in.
🏈 Travis Hunter, I’m in.
🏈 Trade it for a 1 next year, I’m in.
🏈 Trade up and get Cam Ward, I’m in.
#Browns
April 15, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Whatever Cleveland does at 2 in the draft, I’m in.
🏈 Shedeur Sanders, I’m in.
🏈 Abdul Carter, I’m in.
🏈 Travis Hunter, I’m in.
🏈 Trade it for a 1 next year, I’m in.
🏈 Trade up and get Cam Ward, I’m in.
#Browns
🏈 Shedeur Sanders, I’m in.
🏈 Abdul Carter, I’m in.
🏈 Travis Hunter, I’m in.
🏈 Trade it for a 1 next year, I’m in.
🏈 Trade up and get Cam Ward, I’m in.
#Browns
I’ve never seen Tombstone or Heat. I guess now would be a good time to check those out.
April 3, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I’ve never seen Tombstone or Heat. I guess now would be a good time to check those out.
Idea. Home Alone 3: Harry and Marv are now in a nursing home being lowkey terrorized by an adult Kevin, the new Director of Nursing. Title: Nursing Home Alone.
March 4, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Idea. Home Alone 3: Harry and Marv are now in a nursing home being lowkey terrorized by an adult Kevin, the new Director of Nursing. Title: Nursing Home Alone.
YouTube/TikTok channel idea: Pull up next to the cars waiting in a fast food drive-thru, turn on your blinker, and act like you’re trying to merge in. Record reactions.
*Caution: the other drivers will be hangry, so you have the potential to be assaulted. Attempt at your own risk.
*Caution: the other drivers will be hangry, so you have the potential to be assaulted. Attempt at your own risk.
February 19, 2025 at 12:31 AM
YouTube/TikTok channel idea: Pull up next to the cars waiting in a fast food drive-thru, turn on your blinker, and act like you’re trying to merge in. Record reactions.
*Caution: the other drivers will be hangry, so you have the potential to be assaulted. Attempt at your own risk.
*Caution: the other drivers will be hangry, so you have the potential to be assaulted. Attempt at your own risk.
Me, spelling my name to someone: “J-E-R-E-M-Y...”
Other person spelling it back, almost every time: “J-E-R-M-E-Y”
I don’t think my name is hard to spell, at all, yet here we are.
Other person spelling it back, almost every time: “J-E-R-M-E-Y”
I don’t think my name is hard to spell, at all, yet here we are.
February 6, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Me, spelling my name to someone: “J-E-R-E-M-Y...”
Other person spelling it back, almost every time: “J-E-R-M-E-Y”
I don’t think my name is hard to spell, at all, yet here we are.
Other person spelling it back, almost every time: “J-E-R-M-E-Y”
I don’t think my name is hard to spell, at all, yet here we are.
One time, I walked through a spiderweb and when I went to pull the web off my face, there was a spider in the web, too. I accidentally grabbed the spider with my bare hand. It was a big, fat spider, on my face and then in my hand. It felt like a dried apricot.
I still think about that, a lot.
I still think about that, a lot.
February 4, 2025 at 4:59 PM
One time, I walked through a spiderweb and when I went to pull the web off my face, there was a spider in the web, too. I accidentally grabbed the spider with my bare hand. It was a big, fat spider, on my face and then in my hand. It felt like a dried apricot.
I still think about that, a lot.
I still think about that, a lot.
The title card of this MTV Classic show bothers me.
1. It shows a frame from Hold On by Wilson Phillips which came out in 1990.
2. It should be ‘80s, not 80’s.
1. It shows a frame from Hold On by Wilson Phillips which came out in 1990.
2. It should be ‘80s, not 80’s.
February 2, 2025 at 7:38 PM
The title card of this MTV Classic show bothers me.
1. It shows a frame from Hold On by Wilson Phillips which came out in 1990.
2. It should be ‘80s, not 80’s.
1. It shows a frame from Hold On by Wilson Phillips which came out in 1990.
2. It should be ‘80s, not 80’s.
It’s about time for a Grunge Cinematic Universe where a biopic is made for each grunge band, then one Avengers-style movie where they all come together for a Temple of the Dog flick.
January 31, 2025 at 6:30 PM
It’s about time for a Grunge Cinematic Universe where a biopic is made for each grunge band, then one Avengers-style movie where they all come together for a Temple of the Dog flick.
I may have found a genuine Banksy at the park.
January 31, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I may have found a genuine Banksy at the park.
A video game like Grand Theft Auto, except you choose which real life serial killer you want to be. Open world concept, with side missions and weapons specific to the killer you choose.
Side mission reward example: the Zodiac killer could unlock the executioner’s suit.
Side mission reward example: the Zodiac killer could unlock the executioner’s suit.
January 30, 2025 at 12:22 PM
A video game like Grand Theft Auto, except you choose which real life serial killer you want to be. Open world concept, with side missions and weapons specific to the killer you choose.
Side mission reward example: the Zodiac killer could unlock the executioner’s suit.
Side mission reward example: the Zodiac killer could unlock the executioner’s suit.
I need a podcast that interviews employees who were on Undercover Boss, discussing if the CEOs really did what they promised at the end of their episode. My gut says a lot of them got screwed.
January 29, 2025 at 7:03 PM
I need a podcast that interviews employees who were on Undercover Boss, discussing if the CEOs really did what they promised at the end of their episode. My gut says a lot of them got screwed.
Raccoon penis bone pendant. Etsy never lets me down.
January 28, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Raccoon penis bone pendant. Etsy never lets me down.
I found this gem in my camera roll. It’s funnier without context.
January 28, 2025 at 12:36 AM
I found this gem in my camera roll. It’s funnier without context.
I’m at the bank getting a cashier’s check and when they asked the name I want it made out to, I wanted to say Rita Miller.
Most people probably won’t understand this but the 3 people that do will love it. 👻🌾
Most people probably won’t understand this but the 3 people that do will love it. 👻🌾
January 27, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I’m at the bank getting a cashier’s check and when they asked the name I want it made out to, I wanted to say Rita Miller.
Most people probably won’t understand this but the 3 people that do will love it. 👻🌾
Most people probably won’t understand this but the 3 people that do will love it. 👻🌾
This happened today. Still playing Pokemon. @ RivalWeejax.
January 27, 2025 at 12:02 AM
This happened today. Still playing Pokemon. @ RivalWeejax.
When I was a bartender, a customer once ordered chicken wings like this:
“12 wings [then he paused and looked me dead in the eyes and said] HOT AND STEAMY.”
He was just making sure I understood he wanted fresh wings but how he said it was really weird. 20 years later, I still reference it.
“12 wings [then he paused and looked me dead in the eyes and said] HOT AND STEAMY.”
He was just making sure I understood he wanted fresh wings but how he said it was really weird. 20 years later, I still reference it.
January 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
When I was a bartender, a customer once ordered chicken wings like this:
“12 wings [then he paused and looked me dead in the eyes and said] HOT AND STEAMY.”
He was just making sure I understood he wanted fresh wings but how he said it was really weird. 20 years later, I still reference it.
“12 wings [then he paused and looked me dead in the eyes and said] HOT AND STEAMY.”
He was just making sure I understood he wanted fresh wings but how he said it was really weird. 20 years later, I still reference it.
It’s incredibly annoying when you’re in a noisy public place and a friend forces you to listen to a song by their favorite unknown band on their phone, then intently watches for your reaction.
January 25, 2025 at 7:53 PM
It’s incredibly annoying when you’re in a noisy public place and a friend forces you to listen to a song by their favorite unknown band on their phone, then intently watches for your reaction.
Shower thoughts: Remake The Running Man as a TV show but use the WWE model, where it never ends. A scripted (fictionalized) game show where there’s a continuous cycle of new runners and stalkers, characters get “killed”, and new storylines are introduced.
*I know there’s a movie remake in the works
*I know there’s a movie remake in the works
January 24, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Shower thoughts: Remake The Running Man as a TV show but use the WWE model, where it never ends. A scripted (fictionalized) game show where there’s a continuous cycle of new runners and stalkers, characters get “killed”, and new storylines are introduced.
*I know there’s a movie remake in the works
*I know there’s a movie remake in the works
Owners who let their dogs off-leash at the park don’t realize how quickly I can become The Mountain and “Oberyn Martell” their entire bloodline if their #dog attacks mine.
January 24, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Owners who let their dogs off-leash at the park don’t realize how quickly I can become The Mountain and “Oberyn Martell” their entire bloodline if their #dog attacks mine.
Didn’t expect these Pet Sematary vibes while out walking the dog. Sometimes dead is better #StephenKing #horror
January 24, 2025 at 11:09 AM
Didn’t expect these Pet Sematary vibes while out walking the dog. Sometimes dead is better #StephenKing #horror