Do Junior Mints ever go bad? Asking for the unopened box of junior mints i just found in the back of a cabinet
October 19, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Do Junior Mints ever go bad? Asking for the unopened box of junior mints i just found in the back of a cabinet
Finshed packing and don't have to leave for the airport for at least an hour, not sure what to do with all this free time
September 13, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Finshed packing and don't have to leave for the airport for at least an hour, not sure what to do with all this free time
Oh cool, unexpected jets flying over DC, not terrifying at all
September 3, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Oh cool, unexpected jets flying over DC, not terrifying at all
Forgot my AirPods in my other bag and now I just have to ride metro with nothing but my thoughts? Horror
August 11, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Forgot my AirPods in my other bag and now I just have to ride metro with nothing but my thoughts? Horror
“So if you eat it with a knife and fork, you’re going to be fine with one napkin. If you want to pick it up and eat it, you definitely need more than one napkin.” - waiter giving me detailed instructions on how to eat a sandwich
July 3, 2025 at 6:35 PM
“So if you eat it with a knife and fork, you’re going to be fine with one napkin. If you want to pick it up and eat it, you definitely need more than one napkin.” - waiter giving me detailed instructions on how to eat a sandwich
"Oh no, not that kind of massage, I mean where do you go to get your legitimate massages" - dudes sitting at table next to me
May 22, 2025 at 1:04 AM
"Oh no, not that kind of massage, I mean where do you go to get your legitimate massages" - dudes sitting at table next to me
Hello, 911? Yes, my husband is currently eating a hard taco with a fork and knife
April 18, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Hello, 911? Yes, my husband is currently eating a hard taco with a fork and knife
Husband: "Do you want to come downstairs and watch the Bills game on the big tv?"
Me, from my office: "No, this is something I need to do alone"
Me, from my office: "No, this is something I need to do alone"
January 27, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Husband: "Do you want to come downstairs and watch the Bills game on the big tv?"
Me, from my office: "No, this is something I need to do alone"
Me, from my office: "No, this is something I need to do alone"
Feels strange to care this much about a football game when the world is falling apart and yet here I am.
January 27, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Feels strange to care this much about a football game when the world is falling apart and yet here I am.
2 of my 5 siblings’ families have Covid, the white elephant is shrinking by the minute
December 25, 2024 at 3:15 AM
2 of my 5 siblings’ families have Covid, the white elephant is shrinking by the minute
🎶Black Friday deals, I’m gonna keep on shopping for some Black Friday deals, Black Friday deals🎶 - to the tune of Pink Pony Club
Now that’s stuck in all of your heads too
Now that’s stuck in all of your heads too
November 29, 2024 at 4:52 PM
🎶Black Friday deals, I’m gonna keep on shopping for some Black Friday deals, Black Friday deals🎶 - to the tune of Pink Pony Club
Now that’s stuck in all of your heads too
Now that’s stuck in all of your heads too
Walked outside just as my neighbors were giving a tray of cookies to another neighbor. I hope my prolonged eye contact made it clear that if a tray of cookies doesn’t appear at my front door soon they’ve made an enemy for life
November 28, 2024 at 9:53 PM
Walked outside just as my neighbors were giving a tray of cookies to another neighbor. I hope my prolonged eye contact made it clear that if a tray of cookies doesn’t appear at my front door soon they’ve made an enemy for life
Turns out my baking sheet storage unit doubles as a second oven, how convenient
November 28, 2024 at 4:50 PM
Turns out my baking sheet storage unit doubles as a second oven, how convenient
November 15, 2024 at 3:01 AM
"Wow, this is insane" - my husband coming into my office to admire my healthiest coping mechanism, putting up Christmas decor
November 12, 2024 at 2:38 AM
"Wow, this is insane" - my husband coming into my office to admire my healthiest coping mechanism, putting up Christmas decor
"Yeah, I'm not that worried about tomorrow me right now" - me responding to the look my husband is giving me as I make another martini
November 6, 2024 at 2:18 AM
"Yeah, I'm not that worried about tomorrow me right now" - me responding to the look my husband is giving me as I make another martini
Just told our project manager on a huge project that I updated our timeline based on "vibes" which I'm sure they really loved
August 28, 2024 at 5:26 PM
Just told our project manager on a huge project that I updated our timeline based on "vibes" which I'm sure they really loved
1 week ago I somehow found myself in the world of asmr soap cutting videos on Instagram and thought it was the oddest thing ever. Fast forward to today and my anxiety brain cannot rest until I've watched at least 5-10 soap cutting videos
August 10, 2024 at 3:28 AM
1 week ago I somehow found myself in the world of asmr soap cutting videos on Instagram and thought it was the oddest thing ever. Fast forward to today and my anxiety brain cannot rest until I've watched at least 5-10 soap cutting videos
Yes I have an important task past due but unfortunately I just remembered my grandpa used to collect marbles so I’m going to have to take the rest of the day to Google ‘vintage marbles’ for nostalgia reasons, I’m sure work will understand
August 2, 2024 at 6:28 PM
Yes I have an important task past due but unfortunately I just remembered my grandpa used to collect marbles so I’m going to have to take the rest of the day to Google ‘vintage marbles’ for nostalgia reasons, I’m sure work will understand
Found an injured dog this morning and took her to an emergency shelter for treatment, trying everything I can think of to find her home because ugh, I cannot adopt another dog...but she's so sweet and adorable
July 9, 2024 at 12:51 AM
Found an injured dog this morning and took her to an emergency shelter for treatment, trying everything I can think of to find her home because ugh, I cannot adopt another dog...but she's so sweet and adorable
This project team seems to love making gantt charts way more than they like doing the actual work required to complete the project.
June 10, 2024 at 9:07 PM
This project team seems to love making gantt charts way more than they like doing the actual work required to complete the project.
My neighbor to his 4yr old son "Hey, there's Cupcake!"
Kid comes running and sees me and my dog, Cupcake: "ugh, I thought you meant a cupcake we can eat!"
Honestly, I'd be disappointed too
Kid comes running and sees me and my dog, Cupcake: "ugh, I thought you meant a cupcake we can eat!"
Honestly, I'd be disappointed too
May 27, 2024 at 2:47 AM
My neighbor to his 4yr old son "Hey, there's Cupcake!"
Kid comes running and sees me and my dog, Cupcake: "ugh, I thought you meant a cupcake we can eat!"
Honestly, I'd be disappointed too
Kid comes running and sees me and my dog, Cupcake: "ugh, I thought you meant a cupcake we can eat!"
Honestly, I'd be disappointed too
Wow, my entire team is horrified by me just because I said our coworker's newborn "looks kinda yucky"
May 3, 2024 at 3:27 PM
Wow, my entire team is horrified by me just because I said our coworker's newborn "looks kinda yucky"
Thankfully I haven't seen many brands sending "hilarious" April Fools emails today, or maybe regular life is so dumb now I just haven't noticed
April 1, 2024 at 4:19 PM
Thankfully I haven't seen many brands sending "hilarious" April Fools emails today, or maybe regular life is so dumb now I just haven't noticed
"OMG, before you got here a cute guy asked me for my number!"
Husband: "How old?"
"Like 35!"
"Oh wow! High five!"
Husband: "How old?"
"Like 35!"
"Oh wow! High five!"
March 25, 2024 at 1:38 AM
"OMG, before you got here a cute guy asked me for my number!"
Husband: "How old?"
"Like 35!"
"Oh wow! High five!"
Husband: "How old?"
"Like 35!"
"Oh wow! High five!"