he might not because he’s just waiting for him to croak and he knows it’s not that far away

even if he were a rich eccentric who liked to get random MRIs for whatever reason, he’d say that and not seem confused about the idea of what a hospital is

i said to the doctor, when do i get to stage five. and he said nobody does. but i think i'll be able to get to stage five, don't you, folks? [scattered applause and hollers] i'm the only guy who could do it, they say, other people say, and i believe them bsky.app/profile/jdm0...

i wish ben mcadams only the best in private life, but let tonight be the final time I utter his name

nonzero chance they’ve tried to tell him and he’s like “stage 4? that’s the best stage. no one’s even heard of a stage that high. you’ve never seen anything like it”

it is also a moral stain that must be atoned for

still working that thanksgiving lie. patriots, don’t believe your lying wallet.