JC
@jcrussell.bsky.social
I am a dad and hubby first then I have the blessed ability to do the current work life of as a Senior DBA
Pinned
JC
@jcrussell.bsky.social
· Jan 31
Don't say we're on the same level then give me chitterlings when you are eating rump roast and steak...
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: back in the office, not back in the mood
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: coffee first, priorities second, nonsense never
Proceed gently—this system is freshly rebooted.
#DBALife
Mood: back in the office, not back in the mood
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: coffee first, priorities second, nonsense never
Proceed gently—this system is freshly rebooted.
#DBALife
January 7, 2026 at 1:46 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: back in the office, not back in the mood
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: coffee first, priorities second, nonsense never
Proceed gently—this system is freshly rebooted.
#DBALife
Mood: back in the office, not back in the mood
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: coffee first, priorities second, nonsense never
Proceed gently—this system is freshly rebooted.
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: functional, not festive
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: coffee → essentials → ignore nonsense
Operate gently; systems are fragile today.
#DBALife
Mood: functional, not festive
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: coffee → essentials → ignore nonsense
Operate gently; systems are fragile today.
#DBALife
January 5, 2026 at 2:03 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: functional, not festive
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: coffee → essentials → ignore nonsense
Operate gently; systems are fragile today.
#DBALife
Mood: functional, not festive
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: coffee → essentials → ignore nonsense
Operate gently; systems are fragile today.
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: Reflective, done, untouchable
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: Look back, don’t change anything, shut it down for the year
#DBALife
Mood: Reflective, done, untouchable
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: Look back, don’t change anything, shut it down for the year
#DBALife
December 31, 2025 at 2:42 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: Reflective, done, untouchable
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: Look back, don’t change anything, shut it down for the year
#DBALife
Mood: Reflective, done, untouchable
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: Look back, don’t change anything, shut it down for the year
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | TUESDAY
Mood: Checked out, done for the year
Stupidity Tolerance: 2%
Protocol: Finish nothing risky, start nothing new, see you in 2026
#DBALife
Mood: Checked out, done for the year
Stupidity Tolerance: 2%
Protocol: Finish nothing risky, start nothing new, see you in 2026
#DBALife
December 30, 2025 at 1:17 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | TUESDAY
Mood: Checked out, done for the year
Stupidity Tolerance: 2%
Protocol: Finish nothing risky, start nothing new, see you in 2026
#DBALife
Mood: Checked out, done for the year
Stupidity Tolerance: 2%
Protocol: Finish nothing risky, start nothing new, see you in 2026
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: Cold, tired, hostile to nonsense
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Caffeine first, prod stays intact, everyone behave
Mood: Cold, tired, hostile to nonsense
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Caffeine first, prod stays intact, everyone behave
December 29, 2025 at 2:39 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: Cold, tired, hostile to nonsense
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Caffeine first, prod stays intact, everyone behave
Mood: Cold, tired, hostile to nonsense
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Caffeine first, prod stays intact, everyone behave
I have successfully coded my PostgreSQL cron to resemble SQL Agent, so when my DBA brethren and SAs start using it more, it will be less of a burden to figure out the cron calendar.
For those who don't have it set up and need a cron calendar decoder. Here you go:
crontab.guru
#DBALife
For those who don't have it set up and need a cron calendar decoder. Here you go:
crontab.guru
#DBALife
December 23, 2025 at 1:16 PM
I have successfully coded my PostgreSQL cron to resemble SQL Agent, so when my DBA brethren and SAs start using it more, it will be less of a burden to figure out the cron calendar.
For those who don't have it set up and need a cron calendar decoder. Here you go:
crontab.guru
#DBALife
For those who don't have it set up and need a cron calendar decoder. Here you go:
crontab.guru
#DBALife
He wanted to see John Cena's final match. Who was I to deny him this opportunity even though for me it didn't end the way I'd hope.
December 15, 2025 at 3:24 PM
He wanted to see John Cena's final match. Who was I to deny him this opportunity even though for me it didn't end the way I'd hope.
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | FRIDAY
Mood: Caffeine critically low; sarcasm at max.
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: No production changes — survive until Monday.
#DBALife
Mood: Caffeine critically low; sarcasm at max.
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: No production changes — survive until Monday.
#DBALife
December 12, 2025 at 1:55 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | FRIDAY
Mood: Caffeine critically low; sarcasm at max.
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: No production changes — survive until Monday.
#DBALife
Mood: Caffeine critically low; sarcasm at max.
Stupidity Tolerance: 0%
Protocol: No production changes — survive until Monday.
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: Hanging by a coffee thread.
Stupidity Tolerance: -25%
Protocol: Proceed quietly and avoid sudden requests.
#DBALife
Mood: Hanging by a coffee thread.
Stupidity Tolerance: -25%
Protocol: Proceed quietly and avoid sudden requests.
#DBALife
December 10, 2025 at 1:21 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: Hanging by a coffee thread.
Stupidity Tolerance: -25%
Protocol: Proceed quietly and avoid sudden requests.
#DBALife
Mood: Hanging by a coffee thread.
Stupidity Tolerance: -25%
Protocol: Proceed quietly and avoid sudden requests.
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | TUESDAY
Mood: “Pretending to care, but not fooling anyone.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Protect sanity. Prioritize caffeine. #DBALife
Mood: “Pretending to care, but not fooling anyone.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Protect sanity. Prioritize caffeine. #DBALife
December 9, 2025 at 1:34 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | TUESDAY
Mood: “Pretending to care, but not fooling anyone.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Protect sanity. Prioritize caffeine. #DBALife
Mood: “Pretending to care, but not fooling anyone.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Protect sanity. Prioritize caffeine. #DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: “Caffeine not found. Rebooting in bitterness.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee first, logic later. #DBALife
Mood: “Caffeine not found. Rebooting in bitterness.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee first, logic later. #DBALife
December 8, 2025 at 1:40 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: “Caffeine not found. Rebooting in bitterness.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee first, logic later. #DBALife
Mood: “Caffeine not found. Rebooting in bitterness.”
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee first, logic later. #DBALife
Reposted by JC
Act Fast: The Holiday Speed Round Sale Starting at $129
This holiday season, we're running a sale specifically for fast learners. For record-low prices, get access to my SQL Server and Azure SQL DB training classes - but only for 3 months. If you're confident you can get your learn on quick, this…
This holiday season, we're running a sale specifically for fast learners. For record-low prices, get access to my SQL Server and Azure SQL DB training classes - but only for 3 months. If you're confident you can get your learn on quick, this…
Act Fast: The Holiday Speed Round Sale Starting at $129
This holiday season, we're running a sale specifically for fast learners. For record-low prices, get access to my SQL Server and Azure SQL DB training classes - but only for 3 months. If you're confident you can get your learn on quick, this is for you! But you better be prepared to move fast. The sale ends December 31, and you'll have just 3 months access to the classes.
www.brentozar.com
December 5, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Act Fast: The Holiday Speed Round Sale Starting at $129
This holiday season, we're running a sale specifically for fast learners. For record-low prices, get access to my SQL Server and Azure SQL DB training classes - but only for 3 months. If you're confident you can get your learn on quick, this…
This holiday season, we're running a sale specifically for fast learners. For record-low prices, get access to my SQL Server and Azure SQL DB training classes - but only for 3 months. If you're confident you can get your learn on quick, this…
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | THURSDAY
Mood: Barely functioning, but optimistic.
Stupidity Tolerance: 10%
Protocol: Coffee, kindness, and countdown to Friday.
#DBALife
Mood: Barely functioning, but optimistic.
Stupidity Tolerance: 10%
Protocol: Coffee, kindness, and countdown to Friday.
#DBALife
December 4, 2025 at 1:48 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | THURSDAY
Mood: Barely functioning, but optimistic.
Stupidity Tolerance: 10%
Protocol: Coffee, kindness, and countdown to Friday.
#DBALife
Mood: Barely functioning, but optimistic.
Stupidity Tolerance: 10%
Protocol: Coffee, kindness, and countdown to Friday.
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: Coffee abandoned, patience deleted.
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: Seek caffeine. Avoid humans.
Midweek survival: active.
#DBALife
Mood: Coffee abandoned, patience deleted.
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: Seek caffeine. Avoid humans.
Midweek survival: active.
#DBALife
December 3, 2025 at 1:36 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | WEDNESDAY
Mood: Coffee abandoned, patience deleted.
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: Seek caffeine. Avoid humans.
Midweek survival: active.
#DBALife
Mood: Coffee abandoned, patience deleted.
Stupidity Tolerance: 7%
Protocol: Seek caffeine. Avoid humans.
Midweek survival: active.
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | TUESDAY
Mood: Pretending to care at historic lows.
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee, sarcasm, and weather-based resentment.
Snow update: inconvenient, not helpful.
#DBALife
Mood: Pretending to care at historic lows.
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee, sarcasm, and weather-based resentment.
Snow update: inconvenient, not helpful.
#DBALife
December 2, 2025 at 1:31 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | TUESDAY
Mood: Pretending to care at historic lows.
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee, sarcasm, and weather-based resentment.
Snow update: inconvenient, not helpful.
#DBALife
Mood: Pretending to care at historic lows.
Stupidity Tolerance: 15%
Protocol: Coffee, sarcasm, and weather-based resentment.
Snow update: inconvenient, not helpful.
#DBALife
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: Running on fumes and defiance.
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Coffee first, updates second, people third.
It’s December—brace for meetings disguised as “holiday check-ins.”
#DBALife
Mood: Running on fumes and defiance.
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Coffee first, updates second, people third.
It’s December—brace for meetings disguised as “holiday check-ins.”
#DBALife
December 1, 2025 at 2:27 PM
✅ SYSTEM ONLINE | MONDAY
Mood: Running on fumes and defiance.
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Coffee first, updates second, people third.
It’s December—brace for meetings disguised as “holiday check-ins.”
#DBALife
Mood: Running on fumes and defiance.
Stupidity Tolerance: 25%
Protocol: Coffee first, updates second, people third.
It’s December—brace for meetings disguised as “holiday check-ins.”
#DBALife
While my computer is updating I guess I will introduce you to my toys at work.
December 1, 2025 at 1:52 PM
While my computer is updating I guess I will introduce you to my toys at work.