Jarrett Bellini
@jarrettbellini.bsky.social
Writer. Puncher-Upper. Lover of naps, mezcal, and Oxford commas. Self-loathing Tottenham and AZ Cardinals fan. Reluctant cat dad.🌵⭕️💀 COYS
Smell ya later, 2024.
December 29, 2024 at 5:03 PM
Smell ya later, 2024.
Read: St. Nick is watching us shower.
December 15, 2024 at 5:47 PM
Read: St. Nick is watching us shower.
Oh, I love a pot filler! I almost missed it because some lady was in the way.
December 15, 2024 at 5:40 PM
Oh, I love a pot filler! I almost missed it because some lady was in the way.
How's the view up there? Not much to see here in 10,000th place.
December 13, 2024 at 3:18 PM
How's the view up there? Not much to see here in 10,000th place.
I mean ... as classy as one gets with a poop joke. 🤷♂️
December 12, 2024 at 3:02 AM
I mean ... as classy as one gets with a poop joke. 🤷♂️
Quite regular, I'd imagine.
December 12, 2024 at 2:55 AM
Quite regular, I'd imagine.
What is something Scott says before a long business trip.
December 12, 2024 at 2:45 AM
What is something Scott says before a long business trip.
"Should we?"
- HGTV Execs
- HGTV Execs
December 11, 2024 at 6:00 PM
"Should we?"
- HGTV Execs
- HGTV Execs
"Dad, can you just ship her off somewhere far?"
"Best I can do is Greece."
"That works. Thanks, Dad. I love you."
"Gross."
"Best I can do is Greece."
"That works. Thanks, Dad. I love you."
"Gross."
December 11, 2024 at 3:04 AM
"Dad, can you just ship her off somewhere far?"
"Best I can do is Greece."
"That works. Thanks, Dad. I love you."
"Gross."
"Best I can do is Greece."
"That works. Thanks, Dad. I love you."
"Gross."
Now just hold on. Let's hear them out.
December 10, 2024 at 11:11 PM
Now just hold on. Let's hear them out.
"Smash that subscribe button!"
December 10, 2024 at 7:55 PM
"Smash that subscribe button!"
Pretty sure I saw that on PornHub.
December 9, 2024 at 8:39 PM
Pretty sure I saw that on PornHub.
I dunno, Dog. For me it's Hawk Tuah Coin or nothing.
December 9, 2024 at 7:27 PM
I dunno, Dog. For me it's Hawk Tuah Coin or nothing.
The team handed out paper cards to hold up to create a tifo. It looked nice. But not knowing what to do next, many of them (with a combined brain cell total of 8) decided to throw the crumpled up cards onto the pit h. Hence why we can’t have nice things.
December 8, 2024 at 5:27 PM
The team handed out paper cards to hold up to create a tifo. It looked nice. But not knowing what to do next, many of them (with a combined brain cell total of 8) decided to throw the crumpled up cards onto the pit h. Hence why we can’t have nice things.
The stadium has cameras. Round up these idiot fans at halftime and drag them out to the street. Arrest them even. Send a message. This is why we can’t have nice things.
December 8, 2024 at 5:21 PM
The stadium has cameras. Round up these idiot fans at halftime and drag them out to the street. Arrest them even. Send a message. This is why we can’t have nice things.
What are things you want to hear in bed.
December 8, 2024 at 4:46 PM
What are things you want to hear in bed.
"Micky, how's the hammy feel?"
"Well, its still a b..."
"Super duper!"
"Well, its still a b..."
"Super duper!"
December 8, 2024 at 3:32 PM
"Micky, how's the hammy feel?"
"Well, its still a b..."
"Super duper!"
"Well, its still a b..."
"Super duper!"
Thank you! VERY much appreciated!
December 6, 2024 at 4:51 PM
Thank you! VERY much appreciated!
I swear if we take just one shot from distance I'll dance naked on the bar at Waffle House.
December 5, 2024 at 9:02 PM
I swear if we take just one shot from distance I'll dance naked on the bar at Waffle House.
"Crypto enthusiast" sounds like a kink.
December 4, 2024 at 7:16 PM
"Crypto enthusiast" sounds like a kink.
You see a crisis. I see NBC's new hit sitcom.
December 4, 2024 at 6:41 PM
You see a crisis. I see NBC's new hit sitcom.