Michael Benson
@jargonator.bsky.social
I write some, mostly legibly, often for my own amusement.
Things NOT to say to your local mall Santa:
❄️ “You put the ‘Ho’ in holidays.”
❄️ “Can I call you my Sugar Cookie Daddy?”
❄️ “The Easter Bunny’s lap is more comfortable.”
❄️ “You put the ‘Ho’ in holidays.”
❄️ “Can I call you my Sugar Cookie Daddy?”
❄️ “The Easter Bunny’s lap is more comfortable.”
December 23, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Things NOT to say to your local mall Santa:
❄️ “You put the ‘Ho’ in holidays.”
❄️ “Can I call you my Sugar Cookie Daddy?”
❄️ “The Easter Bunny’s lap is more comfortable.”
❄️ “You put the ‘Ho’ in holidays.”
❄️ “Can I call you my Sugar Cookie Daddy?”
❄️ “The Easter Bunny’s lap is more comfortable.”
Pro Tip #1225: if you forget the lyrics to any Christmas song, just replace them with the appropriate number of ”Fa la las.”
December 12, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Pro Tip #1225: if you forget the lyrics to any Christmas song, just replace them with the appropriate number of ”Fa la las.”
Reposted by Michael Benson
Some people called Nazareth a sh*thole.
They said “nothing good comes from there.”
But look at God.
They said “nothing good comes from there.”
But look at God.
December 10, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Some people called Nazareth a sh*thole.
They said “nothing good comes from there.”
But look at God.
They said “nothing good comes from there.”
But look at God.
Hosting Thanksgiving this year for the first time. Based on everything I’ve heard, it seems now is the perfect time to start defrosting the turkey.
November 2, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Hosting Thanksgiving this year for the first time. Based on everything I’ve heard, it seems now is the perfect time to start defrosting the turkey.
SIGN: Release SNAP contingency funding now! On November 1, 42 million Americans stand to lose their SNAP benefits. Sign our Christian petition demanding that the USDA release emergency funding now. act.faithfulamerica.org/sign/SNAP-US...
SIGN: Release SNAP contingency funding now
On November 1, 42 million Americans stand to lose their SNAP benefits. Sign our Christian petition demanding that the USDA release emergency funding now.
act.faithfulamerica.org
October 30, 2025 at 4:04 AM
SIGN: Release SNAP contingency funding now! On November 1, 42 million Americans stand to lose their SNAP benefits. Sign our Christian petition demanding that the USDA release emergency funding now. act.faithfulamerica.org/sign/SNAP-US...
Forget the Army/Navy surplus store. All the best stuff is at the Air Force / Space Force surplus store. You wouldn’t believe the deal I got on a spacesuit and a decommissioned F-15!
October 10, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Forget the Army/Navy surplus store. All the best stuff is at the Air Force / Space Force surplus store. You wouldn’t believe the deal I got on a spacesuit and a decommissioned F-15!
Dairy Queen should seek a companion to the Dilly Bar called the Dally Bar; rather than vanilla ice cream covered in hard chocolate, it would be chocolate ice cream covered in white chocolate.
The slogan could be: “Come Dilly Dally at Dairy Queen!”
The slogan could be: “Come Dilly Dally at Dairy Queen!”
August 7, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Dairy Queen should seek a companion to the Dilly Bar called the Dally Bar; rather than vanilla ice cream covered in hard chocolate, it would be chocolate ice cream covered in white chocolate.
The slogan could be: “Come Dilly Dally at Dairy Queen!”
The slogan could be: “Come Dilly Dally at Dairy Queen!”
Reposted by Michael Benson
When you think of 'theologian' ... "the image you should have in mind is not the professor with a tweed jacket, but rather the disciple who dropped everything to follow Jesus."
Kevin Vanhoozer
Kevin Vanhoozer
July 21, 2025 at 12:58 PM
When you think of 'theologian' ... "the image you should have in mind is not the professor with a tweed jacket, but rather the disciple who dropped everything to follow Jesus."
Kevin Vanhoozer
Kevin Vanhoozer
Reposted by Michael Benson
Juneteenth is a celebration of freedom, but also a reminder: freedom delayed is freedom denied. #Juneteenth #BlackHistory #FreedomDay #NeverForget
June 19, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Juneteenth is a celebration of freedom, but also a reminder: freedom delayed is freedom denied. #Juneteenth #BlackHistory #FreedomDay #NeverForget
This is in The Guardian (@theguardian.com), so its focus is mainly British and European, but as you’ll see, this story has some direct ties to the US. Despite what many might have said, racism isn’t dead; it just has better PR.
www.theguardian.com/news/2025/ap...
www.theguardian.com/news/2025/ap...
A year of hate: what I learned when I went undercover with the far right
The long read: Working for Hope Not Hate, I infiltrated an extremist organisation, befriended its members and got to work investigating their political connections
www.theguardian.com
May 11, 2025 at 6:59 AM
This is in The Guardian (@theguardian.com), so its focus is mainly British and European, but as you’ll see, this story has some direct ties to the US. Despite what many might have said, racism isn’t dead; it just has better PR.
www.theguardian.com/news/2025/ap...
www.theguardian.com/news/2025/ap...
“He’s an alchemist in the kitchen! Give him some chicken, any cut, and without fail he’ll transcend the laws of science and transform it into rubber. Every $&%* time.”
May 11, 2025 at 6:53 AM
“He’s an alchemist in the kitchen! Give him some chicken, any cut, and without fail he’ll transcend the laws of science and transform it into rubber. Every $&%* time.”
Her: I need you to alphabetize all the US states by their two-letter abbreviations, but please stop just before Oregon.
Him: OH. OK.
Him: OH. OK.
May 10, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Her: I need you to alphabetize all the US states by their two-letter abbreviations, but please stop just before Oregon.
Him: OH. OK.
Him: OH. OK.
Reposted by Michael Benson
While the gospels say that Judas led the Romans to Jesus, a new theory is gaining traction with some Biblical scholars. There is evidence, some say, that Judas merely shared Christ's location on an insecure group chat that accidentally included several Roman officials and journalists.
April 21, 2025 at 1:46 AM
While the gospels say that Judas led the Romans to Jesus, a new theory is gaining traction with some Biblical scholars. There is evidence, some say, that Judas merely shared Christ's location on an insecure group chat that accidentally included several Roman officials and journalists.
Why is there not an Avatar: The Last Airbender open world video game? Imagine exploring the world, acquiring new bending skills (and finding all 105 cabbage carts you need to knock over).
April 4, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Why is there not an Avatar: The Last Airbender open world video game? Imagine exploring the world, acquiring new bending skills (and finding all 105 cabbage carts you need to knock over).
Reposted by Michael Benson
I'd like to bring this video to your attention.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyco...
It's doing pretty significant numbers for what it is, so while I understand sharing it won't make a difference for those knee-deep in the cult of personality, I'd say it has a better-than-average chance of resonating.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyco...
It's doing pretty significant numbers for what it is, so while I understand sharing it won't make a difference for those knee-deep in the cult of personality, I'd say it has a better-than-average chance of resonating.
Murphy: Six Weeks In, This White House Is On Its Way To Being The Most Corrupt In U.S. History
YouTube video by Senator Chris Murphy
www.youtube.com
March 8, 2025 at 8:02 PM
I'd like to bring this video to your attention.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyco...
It's doing pretty significant numbers for what it is, so while I understand sharing it won't make a difference for those knee-deep in the cult of personality, I'd say it has a better-than-average chance of resonating.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyco...
It's doing pretty significant numbers for what it is, so while I understand sharing it won't make a difference for those knee-deep in the cult of personality, I'd say it has a better-than-average chance of resonating.
When I say I’m packing heat, what I mean is I have a lot of Taco Bell hot sauce packs in my glove box.
February 15, 2025 at 12:48 AM
When I say I’m packing heat, what I mean is I have a lot of Taco Bell hot sauce packs in my glove box.
Make no mistake, this is not good for followers of Jesus. This is Christian Nationalism, and it is damaging to both the faith and our country.
Trump announces task force to ‘eradicate anti-Christian bias’
President Trump announced plans Thursday to establish a task force and a presidential commission to protect Christians from religious discrimination. Trump addressed the National Prayer Breakfast i…
thehill.com
February 6, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Make no mistake, this is not good for followers of Jesus. This is Christian Nationalism, and it is damaging to both the faith and our country.
I am thoroughly convinced that a bowl of cereal with milk is just a cold, morning soup – a breakfast gazpacho, if you will.
January 27, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I am thoroughly convinced that a bowl of cereal with milk is just a cold, morning soup – a breakfast gazpacho, if you will.
My Superman Hot Take©️:
He shouldn’t have big muscles, as that comes from working out by regularly pushing yourself to the limit, which is hard to do when you can bench press a 747. He should instead look like a lanky guy, which has the added benefit of making his strength look more otherworldly.
He shouldn’t have big muscles, as that comes from working out by regularly pushing yourself to the limit, which is hard to do when you can bench press a 747. He should instead look like a lanky guy, which has the added benefit of making his strength look more otherworldly.
January 15, 2025 at 7:12 AM
My Superman Hot Take©️:
He shouldn’t have big muscles, as that comes from working out by regularly pushing yourself to the limit, which is hard to do when you can bench press a 747. He should instead look like a lanky guy, which has the added benefit of making his strength look more otherworldly.
He shouldn’t have big muscles, as that comes from working out by regularly pushing yourself to the limit, which is hard to do when you can bench press a 747. He should instead look like a lanky guy, which has the added benefit of making his strength look more otherworldly.
🎵 You say toe-may-toe.
I say toe-mah-toe. 🎶
🎶 You say poe-tay-toe.
I say poe-tay-toe. 🎵
Because nobody actually says poe-tah-toe!
I say toe-mah-toe. 🎶
🎶 You say poe-tay-toe.
I say poe-tay-toe. 🎵
Because nobody actually says poe-tah-toe!
January 2, 2025 at 2:31 AM
🎵 You say toe-may-toe.
I say toe-mah-toe. 🎶
🎶 You say poe-tay-toe.
I say poe-tay-toe. 🎵
Because nobody actually says poe-tah-toe!
I say toe-mah-toe. 🎶
🎶 You say poe-tay-toe.
I say poe-tay-toe. 🎵
Because nobody actually says poe-tah-toe!
Every recipe that calls for garlic cloves can always be improved by the addition of up to twice as many cloves as originally called for.
Always.
Always.
December 30, 2024 at 9:33 PM
Every recipe that calls for garlic cloves can always be improved by the addition of up to twice as many cloves as originally called for.
Always.
Always.
Reposted by Michael Benson
The significance of Charlie Brown's Christmas tree is well told by Emily Hunter McGowin in her Christmas book (IVP). It is a particular strength of her book that she emphasizes the importance of Jesus' lowly origins and ministry to the disadvantaged.
December 29, 2024 at 2:07 AM
The significance of Charlie Brown's Christmas tree is well told by Emily Hunter McGowin in her Christmas book (IVP). It is a particular strength of her book that she emphasizes the importance of Jesus' lowly origins and ministry to the disadvantaged.
I have an idea for a getaway: an alcohol-oriented ocean excursion off the coast of central California, where the earlier you sign up, the more drink tickets you get.
I call it the Santa Cruz Snooze You Lose Booze Cruise.
I call it the Santa Cruz Snooze You Lose Booze Cruise.
December 24, 2024 at 6:09 AM
I have an idea for a getaway: an alcohol-oriented ocean excursion off the coast of central California, where the earlier you sign up, the more drink tickets you get.
I call it the Santa Cruz Snooze You Lose Booze Cruise.
I call it the Santa Cruz Snooze You Lose Booze Cruise.
After listening to the podcast from @radiolab.bsky.social about how Stockholm Syndrome isn’t really a thing (www.wnycstudios.org/story/how-st...) I wonder if our obsession with this fake disorder is some sort of mass Stockholm Syndrome.
How Stockholm Stuck
How an idea born in a Swedish bank wormed its way into all of our brains.
www.wnycstudios.org
December 23, 2024 at 3:55 PM
After listening to the podcast from @radiolab.bsky.social about how Stockholm Syndrome isn’t really a thing (www.wnycstudios.org/story/how-st...) I wonder if our obsession with this fake disorder is some sort of mass Stockholm Syndrome.
If you name your single “The Christmas Song,” you better be certain it becomes a time-honored classic, be named Nat King Cole, or both.
December 22, 2024 at 5:58 AM
If you name your single “The Christmas Song,” you better be certain it becomes a time-honored classic, be named Nat King Cole, or both.