I used to dread the end of winter.
But this year, I’m desperate for summer.
For sun, for sand, for the ease of it all.
But how dare I?
How dare I crave light…
When someone else’s world is drowning in darkness?

Grief is not just darkness; it is contrast. And somehow, I am still here.

On my first Valentine’s after my husband died, I sat in my car with three napping kids. An acquaintance wished me a happy Valentine’s. I said I didn’t care for the day, especially since it was the day Chris was diagnosed. They replied, ‘Well, I guess Chris never bought you enough chocolate.’

Six years ago today, instead of coming home after work, my husband went to a walk-in clinic. He knew he was sick but had been hiding it because I was eight months pregnant with our third. That day changed my life forever. It was the start of the traumatic chaos that ended on Aug 29th with his death.

Snow day: all plans cancelled and officially replaced with watching Love Is Blind while eating chocolate. No regrets. ❄️🍫📺

The anxiety fills my chest, overwhelmingly. I hate this feeling. I fear this feeling. I’ve been trying to make sense of it, searching for reasons. Then it finally hit me like a slap in the face. It’s diagnosis week. The body never forgets.

I’m the worst Tooth Fairy. The guilt is real. This was supposed to be his job… if only he wasn’t dead.

His first foray into the middle east. Originally published in the Chronicle Herald May 19, 2018

You only turn 40 once in a lifetime…if you’re lucky.

Brrrr! It was cold out there this morning taking the kids to the school bus—-23°C. By tonight, it will be +3°C and raining.

When my husband turned 39, he had no idea he would never turn 40. That year, he was diagnosed with cancer and died just weeks before his birthday. Now, I find myself at that same junction—approaching 40, standing at the edge of a milestone he never reached.

In my early days as a widow and during cancer treatment, I didn’t have great access to mental healthcare. Now, with Nova Scotia moving toward universal mental health coverage, I can’t wait to be part of that change as a future counselling therapist.

With the recent developments in Canada-US relations, I’ve decided to cancel my summer camping trip to Acadia National Park in Maine. Seems like a great year for Canadians to explore all the incredible destinations closer to home—or beyond.

Nova Scotia government will pay private counsellors to offer treatment for anxiety, mood disorders
By Jennifer Henderson