I have one weird fan who runs my fan club for one member. He hired a team of people to make these things.

My sister's Halloween party. Mom said dad might embarrass everybody dressed as Elvis. Bitch please, I still have mushrooms left in the fridge.

Of course you're going to play Saudi Arabia. You haven't said shit here truly radical or mocking the rich. You think liberals are the establishment—rape jokes, LGBTQ and mocking the poor are your edgy schtick. Of course you can play Saudi Arabia.

See what happens when you clean out your basement? Found an old headshot of Joey "Coco" Diaz. This was Seattle, back in the 90s laying low on the witness protection program.

A young open mic comic I occasionally give advice to in Twitter DMs just got arrested for telling a joke. I haven't heard all the details yet, but I'd just like to say I'm proud of my new students.

Next time someone tries to argue on social media, I'm going to say, "I was right about UFOs and I was right about the COVID lab leak. Do you seriously want to fuck with me?"

Snowmageddon 2025. Better not run out of treats or we could easily spiral down into cannibalism.

It was cold outside but the house was warm. I wanted to build a fire so bad I turned on the AC to cool down the house to build a fire. I think I have a serious problem and I hit rock bottom.

Everybody loves to warn me about confirmation bias but what do you call it when you look into something and it's ten times more fucked up than you ever imagined?