Jake-Martin Thomas
@jakemartinoftom.bsky.social
Technically the ex-boyfriend of the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest representative of Andorra. Almost tripped up Andrew Strauss at a late-night comedy gig once.
Oh, I thought it was tartare, which I felt was an adventurous topping.
December 16, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Oh, I thought it was tartare, which I felt was an adventurous topping.
Bloody Mercator projection!
December 15, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Bloody Mercator projection!
I'd offer to put them back together again. Can't be that hard.
December 15, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I'd offer to put them back together again. Can't be that hard.
A procedure known as 'Canadian water torture'.
December 13, 2025 at 3:20 AM
A procedure known as 'Canadian water torture'.
The description you're looking for is "critically acclaimed".
December 4, 2025 at 12:09 PM
The description you're looking for is "critically acclaimed".
Ah, but maybe it's your brain that's growing too big for your skull, and is therefore spreading to your foot!
It makes total sense:
- Painful: Check
- Stumps the medical profession: Check
- The brain knows it's not supposed to do that, so it makes you believe it's caused by something else: Check
It makes total sense:
- Painful: Check
- Stumps the medical profession: Check
- The brain knows it's not supposed to do that, so it makes you believe it's caused by something else: Check
December 3, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Ah, but maybe it's your brain that's growing too big for your skull, and is therefore spreading to your foot!
It makes total sense:
- Painful: Check
- Stumps the medical profession: Check
- The brain knows it's not supposed to do that, so it makes you believe it's caused by something else: Check
It makes total sense:
- Painful: Check
- Stumps the medical profession: Check
- The brain knows it's not supposed to do that, so it makes you believe it's caused by something else: Check
The line that gets me is
"And I do appreciate you being round."
Clearly written in a time before Ozempic.
"And I do appreciate you being round."
Clearly written in a time before Ozempic.
December 2, 2025 at 5:02 PM
The line that gets me is
"And I do appreciate you being round."
Clearly written in a time before Ozempic.
"And I do appreciate you being round."
Clearly written in a time before Ozempic.
I probably can't make it to the show, but I'll send my avatar and have it provide a summary when it returns.
December 2, 2025 at 3:32 PM
I probably can't make it to the show, but I'll send my avatar and have it provide a summary when it returns.
So now you have an excuse to look at your phone rather than talk to your family at Christmas dinner... :-)
December 2, 2025 at 2:10 PM
So now you have an excuse to look at your phone rather than talk to your family at Christmas dinner... :-)
Did you kick a door in?
December 1, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Did you kick a door in?
At what point does rage turn into resigned apathy?
November 28, 2025 at 10:56 PM
At what point does rage turn into resigned apathy?
I _always_ wear shorts at home, and change when I go out.
Also, I recommend farmer's markets for retail therapy: less expensive, and encourages healthier eating than takeaways.
Also, I recommend farmer's markets for retail therapy: less expensive, and encourages healthier eating than takeaways.
November 28, 2025 at 10:55 PM
I _always_ wear shorts at home, and change when I go out.
Also, I recommend farmer's markets for retail therapy: less expensive, and encourages healthier eating than takeaways.
Also, I recommend farmer's markets for retail therapy: less expensive, and encourages healthier eating than takeaways.
One thing that often helps me is to remind myself that it goes the other way too: My brain generally does not allow me to have more than one or two bad days in a row.
November 26, 2025 at 2:59 PM
One thing that often helps me is to remind myself that it goes the other way too: My brain generally does not allow me to have more than one or two bad days in a row.
But what exactly are they assembling? It could just be the LEGO sets they got as early Christmas presents... :-)
November 22, 2025 at 8:06 PM
But what exactly are they assembling? It could just be the LEGO sets they got as early Christmas presents... :-)
Ah, that's where I've gone wrong. I've always replied "Fine, how are you?", and now I don't have any friends.
November 19, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Ah, that's where I've gone wrong. I've always replied "Fine, how are you?", and now I don't have any friends.
My AI prompt could have created your 5-year-old.
November 14, 2025 at 3:34 PM
My AI prompt could have created your 5-year-old.
My wishlist for Christmas explicitly contains books that would look nice on my shelves.
It also has books I want to read, but there's nothing wrong woth a purely aesthetic bookcase.
It also has books I want to read, but there's nothing wrong woth a purely aesthetic bookcase.
November 14, 2025 at 1:17 AM
My wishlist for Christmas explicitly contains books that would look nice on my shelves.
It also has books I want to read, but there's nothing wrong woth a purely aesthetic bookcase.
It also has books I want to read, but there's nothing wrong woth a purely aesthetic bookcase.
I've got precisely the same problem, except that I'm the consumer of comedy promotion rather than the producer.
Let me know if you find a solution, because I can't. :-(
Let me know if you find a solution, because I can't. :-(
November 11, 2025 at 9:13 AM
I've got precisely the same problem, except that I'm the consumer of comedy promotion rather than the producer.
Let me know if you find a solution, because I can't. :-(
Let me know if you find a solution, because I can't. :-(
Couldn't they find someone else who could do the job almost as well but much cheaper?
November 10, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Couldn't they find someone else who could do the job almost as well but much cheaper?
For a brief moment I thought you were holding up the DVD...
November 10, 2025 at 11:51 AM
For a brief moment I thought you were holding up the DVD...
Fun fact: The hyphen in my handle is named after you.
November 8, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Fun fact: The hyphen in my handle is named after you.
If I wasn't out of work I would fly out to join you. :-)
November 8, 2025 at 1:40 AM
If I wasn't out of work I would fly out to join you. :-)
I can relate - I can't take night busses. Every time I've taken a night bus home after a night out I wake up with a hangover.
November 7, 2025 at 4:58 PM
I can relate - I can't take night busses. Every time I've taken a night bus home after a night out I wake up with a hangover.
But when the kids are a bit older...
November 7, 2025 at 4:52 PM
But when the kids are a bit older...