Oh man, this sounds like an actual critique of a story in creative writing class around 1991.
Other students: The character's actions don't seem realistic.
Author: But I did this. This is what happened to me in real life.
Prof: Fiction has to be better than real life.

Signal, Discord, WhatsApp, Instagram, FB Messenger, Telegram, Zoom, Skype, and I’m certain that’s not all of them. So many other options!

I’ll vouch for you, definitely as enjoyably unserious as described. (The eternally serious are such dreadful bores!)

So... can we AT LEAST be selfish if we can't be empathetic.

Don't shơot yourself in the face because the idea of a poor person buying cookies upsets you.
(BTW, our farmers love that SNAP recipients buy cookies from companies that buy their farmed products.)

I suppose we could also read it. That might work too.

While failing to specify time zone. 🤔

Must be a Russian, digging out Cold War era material to reuse.

Logged back on to see how it went, glad it was short-ish!

Ah, love those times of “why is this taking so long… did I make a mistake that will make the time on this one “forever”?

Especially when I get back to it the next morning, stop it, add an index, and have it finish in 13 seconds. How many times? Too many.

Given that you falsely accuse John Brown of killing children, you were pretty lost already.

Don’t forget money laundering.

Ah, the joys of accidental honesty.