Johnny Xmas
@j0hnnyxm4s.johnnyxmas.net
3rd Gen Hacker | @Defcon @MalwareVillage Keynote | BurbSec | OT\ICS | Seen on Fox, Wired, TechCrunch… | Infosec’s Community Builder | Soetimes IRL on ttv/jaku
Please help I am new here - which thing is the spoon for? Wrong answers only. 
December 9, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Please help I am new here - which thing is the spoon for? Wrong answers only. 
You won’t fear the annual Thanksgiving table family argument when you’re the one starting it
November 27, 2025 at 5:17 PM
You won’t fear the annual Thanksgiving table family argument when you’re the one starting it
There are two pop culture references here, and you are not old enough to know either of them 
November 27, 2025 at 5:15 PM
There are two pop culture references here, and you are not old enough to know either of them 
This is directly your fault.
November 21, 2025 at 5:17 PM
This is directly your fault.
Y’all I got to see @secevangelism.bsky.social present in a PACKED atrium in a PALACE at DefCamp in Bucharest on the subject of enacting easy, effective resistance in the age of connected dictatorships, and and that feeling growing in your gut currently is deep, deep jealousy.
November 16, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Y’all I got to see @secevangelism.bsky.social present in a PACKED atrium in a PALACE at DefCamp in Bucharest on the subject of enacting easy, effective resistance in the age of connected dictatorships, and and that feeling growing in your gut currently is deep, deep jealousy.
I have finally seen jellyfish in the wild, in an inland sea no less 
November 15, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I have finally seen jellyfish in the wild, in an inland sea no less 
I have finally seen jellyfish in the wild, in an inland Sea. 
November 15, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I have finally seen jellyfish in the wild, in an inland Sea. 
If you’re keeping track of where we are as a civilization, this “carpet” in my Romanian hotel room is entirely plastic
November 14, 2025 at 12:43 AM
If you’re keeping track of where we are as a civilization, this “carpet” in my Romanian hotel room is entirely plastic
If you’re keeping track of where we are as a civilization, this “carpet” in my Romanian hotel room is entirely plastic
November 14, 2025 at 12:42 AM
If you’re keeping track of where we are as a civilization, this “carpet” in my Romanian hotel room is entirely plastic
My dudes I am speaking at the Palace of the Parliament in Bucharest and that is one of the coolest things I have ever skeeted
November 13, 2025 at 11:21 AM
My dudes I am speaking at the Palace of the Parliament in Bucharest and that is one of the coolest things I have ever skeeted
I drove to the absolute middle of nowhere in Romania to check out a theme park someone built inside this abandoned salt mine.


November 12, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I drove to the absolute middle of nowhere in Romania to check out a theme park someone built inside this abandoned salt mine.


So far every place I’ve stayed in Romania comes stocked with an unlabeled mystery liquid. None of them are water. One of them tasted like pee. 
November 11, 2025 at 8:11 PM
So far every place I’ve stayed in Romania comes stocked with an unlabeled mystery liquid. None of them are water. One of them tasted like pee. 
This is the single greatest opening line of any non-satirical article in the history of journalism
November 5, 2025 at 5:17 PM
This is the single greatest opening line of any non-satirical article in the history of journalism
. @east.burbsec.com afterparty with @lintile.lol is lit fam
October 31, 2025 at 5:04 AM
. @east.burbsec.com afterparty with @lintile.lol is lit fam
I feel like I can play the plausible deniability card with “my gender is a malicious PDF”
October 28, 2025 at 4:17 PM
I feel like I can play the plausible deniability card with “my gender is a malicious PDF”
I’m gonna tell my kids I was Jason vs. Predator for Halloween
October 26, 2025 at 4:17 PM
I’m gonna tell my kids I was Jason vs. Predator for Halloween
Can we please get this simulation some more RAM already
October 20, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Can we please get this simulation some more RAM already
Always great to see @ihackedwhat.bsky.social @hackfest.bsky.social
October 18, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Always great to see @ihackedwhat.bsky.social @hackfest.bsky.social
Excited to see @lintile.lol navigate the entirety of this in Quèbècois @hackfest.bsky.social
October 18, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Excited to see @lintile.lol navigate the entirety of this in Quèbècois @hackfest.bsky.social
tf is with ChatGPT 5 constantly fucking with me
October 17, 2025 at 4:17 PM
tf is with ChatGPT 5 constantly fucking with me
I have left the country again, and yes, placed myself in grave danger again. At least I’ll die with @lintile.lol
October 15, 2025 at 9:35 PM
I have left the country again, and yes, placed myself in grave danger again. At least I’ll die with @lintile.lol
What are the chances this box has six fingers in it 
October 15, 2025 at 4:17 PM
What are the chances this box has six fingers in it 
This is the most egregious bathroom invention since the urinal trough.
I give you: the handshake gloryhole
I give you: the handshake gloryhole
October 14, 2025 at 8:04 PM
This is the most egregious bathroom invention since the urinal trough.
I give you: the handshake gloryhole
I give you: the handshake gloryhole