Sarah Dutcher
@itssarahdutch.bsky.social
certified california junior ranger, frodo baggins stan account.
twitter / insta: itssarahdutcher
venmo: sarahdutchercomedy
twitter / insta: itssarahdutcher
venmo: sarahdutchercomedy
give stylists guns!
June 14, 2025 at 2:02 AM
give stylists guns!
this book is funnier than expected
June 10, 2025 at 2:03 AM
this book is funnier than expected
not having to plan my summer camping trips around my period anymore makes my hysterectomy worth it
June 7, 2025 at 7:25 PM
not having to plan my summer camping trips around my period anymore makes my hysterectomy worth it
my job’s start date got moved up a week which means i’ll get paid before rent is due
June 5, 2025 at 7:55 PM
my job’s start date got moved up a week which means i’ll get paid before rent is due
looking at my childhood home on zillow
April 29, 2025 at 12:24 AM
looking at my childhood home on zillow
her first day outside since october
April 12, 2025 at 7:52 PM
her first day outside since october
it’s almost 10:30pm on a weeknight. why are there children screaming outside?? do bedtimes not exist anymore???
April 2, 2025 at 5:26 AM
it’s almost 10:30pm on a weeknight. why are there children screaming outside?? do bedtimes not exist anymore???
waiting for the 800mg of ibuprofen to kick in during the team meeting as my uterus tries to kill itself
March 29, 2025 at 2:36 AM
waiting for the 800mg of ibuprofen to kick in during the team meeting as my uterus tries to kill itself
me when my surgeon talks about how skinny i’ll look after removing the fibroid bigger than my fist
March 24, 2025 at 6:45 PM
me when my surgeon talks about how skinny i’ll look after removing the fibroid bigger than my fist
mordor’s executives are looking for a new office manager and my communication skills and experience with orcs makes me a great fit
March 19, 2025 at 7:18 PM
mordor’s executives are looking for a new office manager and my communication skills and experience with orcs makes me a great fit
see a tree, post a tree
March 11, 2025 at 12:39 AM
see a tree, post a tree
me around the time my mom first said i started gaining too much weight and wanted me to do exercise tapes. i squeezed my legs together hoping they’d look less fat
March 5, 2025 at 3:43 AM
me around the time my mom first said i started gaining too much weight and wanted me to do exercise tapes. i squeezed my legs together hoping they’d look less fat
we’re like the creation of adam but we’re both god in our minds
February 28, 2025 at 9:06 PM
we’re like the creation of adam but we’re both god in our minds
horse guide: no need to be nervous, you’ll be fine up there
me: i’m not nervous, this is just my vibe
me: i’m not nervous, this is just my vibe
February 24, 2025 at 1:33 AM
horse guide: no need to be nervous, you’ll be fine up there
me: i’m not nervous, this is just my vibe
me: i’m not nervous, this is just my vibe
his lawyer was visited by three ghosts
February 23, 2025 at 4:25 PM
his lawyer was visited by three ghosts
who up, who fibroid posting on insta stories
February 20, 2025 at 3:25 PM
who up, who fibroid posting on insta stories
neoliberalism is falling to fascism because it teaches citizens that being inconvenienced is a greater sin than hurting someone
February 16, 2025 at 8:16 PM
neoliberalism is falling to fascism because it teaches citizens that being inconvenienced is a greater sin than hurting someone
“classical music is boring” where else am i gonna watch guys in tuxedos shake copper sheets and bang on poles while the cellists are sawing away? where else can i fulfill my overlapping needs to feel pretentious and chaotic??
February 11, 2025 at 8:05 PM
“classical music is boring” where else am i gonna watch guys in tuxedos shake copper sheets and bang on poles while the cellists are sawing away? where else can i fulfill my overlapping needs to feel pretentious and chaotic??
his favorite way to get face rubs is to shove his forehead into the palm of my hand
February 8, 2025 at 7:34 PM
his favorite way to get face rubs is to shove his forehead into the palm of my hand
spotify is a horrible company but i love its algorithm bc why is this the picture for today’s classical playlist
January 30, 2025 at 5:12 PM
spotify is a horrible company but i love its algorithm bc why is this the picture for today’s classical playlist
the worst part of joining any new social media is training the algorithm
January 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
the worst part of joining any new social media is training the algorithm
is it ever explained, anywhere, why these two characters have the bride of frankenstein white streak?
January 25, 2025 at 7:00 PM
is it ever explained, anywhere, why these two characters have the bride of frankenstein white streak?
gone girl: fun crime thriller, girl power!
sharp objects: what if every edgy book about girlhood trauma in high school had the added layer of trying to process it as an adult. what then? what if it only gets worse? but it’s still really fun writing?
sharp objects: what if every edgy book about girlhood trauma in high school had the added layer of trying to process it as an adult. what then? what if it only gets worse? but it’s still really fun writing?
January 25, 2025 at 4:46 AM
gone girl: fun crime thriller, girl power!
sharp objects: what if every edgy book about girlhood trauma in high school had the added layer of trying to process it as an adult. what then? what if it only gets worse? but it’s still really fun writing?
sharp objects: what if every edgy book about girlhood trauma in high school had the added layer of trying to process it as an adult. what then? what if it only gets worse? but it’s still really fun writing?
this is anti-good girl slander and i will not stand for it! i will lay down, so my perfect baby princess can sit on my lap and be remembered for eternity
January 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
this is anti-good girl slander and i will not stand for it! i will lay down, so my perfect baby princess can sit on my lap and be remembered for eternity