Re entry into a community, a space or relationship is earned, not a given. A resource of unrepentant abusers is that they have drilled into the rest of us that we owe them infinite chances. We don’t. Chances are finite. Those are the breaks. often they want to be absolved without changing. Pass.

Something to think about not just in the present moment, but in the future. Those who create harm must reckon with those they harmed & make amends. In the meantime, whether they do or don’t, do we owe them socializing, professional opportunities, our time, attention, energy, engagement? No. We don’t

Subconscious theory "if terrible people make art, it can only be terrible," that's not how it works. Sometimes in the art there is true catharsis & person is good. Other times, veiled confessions & manipulation. We can only know the difference by truly listening & respecting those around the artist.

But yeah, people who made art I loved & who turned out to be NOT what I thought they were--it's hard. What we can all do is make sure that those who are being hurt have the safety to come forward on their own terms. We can wrench our attention away from the abuser or enabler & help those who need it