people killin people dyin
children hurtin you hear me cryin
can you practice what you preach?
would you turn the other cheek?
father father father help us
send some guidance from above
cause people got me got me wondering
where is the love

can someone give me 500,000 dollars cash

Are you bored tonight? Send your five accomplishments, maybe your shopping list, or your five thoughts on Elon from the past week to OPM at HR@opm.gov.

seems like it is a big deal that the unifying ideology of the doge team is neo nazism

(severely condescending tone) Umm let me explain something to you sweetie: [objectively the wrongest information you've ever heard]

I'm sorry, but "they took over the whole federal payments system, fired the career staff, and won't let anybody see what they're doing" is not a situation in which you wait for more information. It's a situation in which you assume the worst. There's no explanation for it other than rampant crimes.

Wife: you better not have found the peace of wild things again. Have you been in the woods?

Me, serenely chewing on a stick: no

we don't know that 1,000 luigis wouldn't work, we literally don't have the data

'The Office' was pro-office propaganda whereas 'Severance' is the realistic show about how being at the office makes you go insane

I have a note from my doctor that says everyone has to be nice to me