Pronouncing Publix like pubic.

Do you think Donnie Swallows puts ketchup on everything before he eats it?

"It takes a village"

Liberals: If all the villages work together we can all benefit.
Conservatives: Fuck your village. My village is better.

Adjusting my glasses "Technically they're Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises"

The Supreme Court did not ban gender affirming care. They banned gender affirming care for transfolks. #SCOTUS #trans #transkids

The realization that Erewhon is what it sounds like when a southerner says "everyone"

My next D&D character will be a Wereru, that turns into Tom Delong every full moon. #blink182

I'm not freaking out. I'm axietymaxing.

Not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing all these time travelers are interested in my day-to-day life.

A month in and Trump has fired over 10,000 people for *checks notes* getting a job.

I am so sick of instructional videos on YouTube being basically 20 minute long ads for like one or two products. Then there are ads for the sponsor of the video. Then there are ads that interrupt the video many times.

I fucking hate commercials.

Conservatives are like, "I've accepted Jesus Christ into my heart as my lord and savior, but I do not accept him overstaying his visa."

What if a churches steeple was where they brewed tea?

In conservatives' America First initiative they plan to withhold aid to the victims of the LA fires for political reasons.

Never forget that Kirstie Alley got fired from the Star Trek movies for not having the acting chops to play the emotional range of a Vulcan.

Conservatives: We need to stop giving money to our ally Ukraine as they defend against an invading military. We are staunchly anti-war.

Also Conservatives: We are going to take over all of North and Central America, and Greenland, and fund Israel's war on Arabs and genocide of Palestinians.

Wow so they're just letting anyone on here nowadays huh? Good. Fuck gatekeeping.

A year after his 44 billion dollar Twitter acquisition, Musk's ever reliable business acumen has resulted in the companies worth exploding to 19 billion dollars, total. This 19b is believed to be a gross over-estimation.