republicans when someone actually uses the second amendment to defend their nation from an authoritarian government instead of just shooting kindergarteners

I am 100% convinced that there is a separate genre of music made specifically to be played in malls and supermarkets. I’ve never seen anyone casually listen to these songs in my life but somehow I hear them every time I leave the house

71 year old nyc mayoral candidate Curtis Sliwa and his wife being hardcore into EDM dance music is a fact that should not have surprised me considering the rest of his insane lore but it somehow still caught me off guard

there are pictures of me somewhere, as a kid, laying belly down on a lakeshore, petting a canadian goose and her babies. alas, i don’t presently have these images, which would obviously grant me divine right to usurp mark carney as prime minister of canada and put danielle smith to the guillotine

psyoping my conservative 50y/o dad into being woke by watching startrek next gen with him and gassing up jean-luc picard the entire time

“What’s the point of writing if AI can write better than you?” It can’t. Next question

For legal purposes I am definitely NOT saying that students in Alberta ( #YEG ) affected by the #ucpbookban should mobilize to make take a book leave a book anonymous libraries out of lockers.

Wait… If flight attendants are just “sky waitresses”, why would Air Canada have to ground all their planes and cancel all flights when they go on strike?

Oh, right! That’s because flight attendants are first responders, and it’s illegal to fly without them.

Would it be ethical to produce AI slop leftist propaganda engineered to target old people on Facebook? Starting to think that the right is onto something

It would be cool if in George RR's will he revealed he'd completed GOT, but only people who didn't complain or bother him about finishing (or suggest other authors should finish it?!) got to read. This will be enforceable because everyone who still knows how to read will be on a govt watchlist.

“My taxes just go to lazy parasites who refuse to get a job!”

“Oh, absolutely! A majority of social assistance meant to aid the most vulnerable is actually seized by landlords as ‘rent.’ They essentially leech off of our tax dollars to bankroll their own investments.”

“No, wait, that’s not—!”

How the hell do some people think that Star Trek of all things has suddenly "GoNe WoKe!"?

Have we been watching the same progressive sci-fi franchise for decades? It was always political, diverse, and most of the time it wasn't even that subtle.