InHouseAutistic
@inhouseautistic.bsky.social
Autistic and here to talk about it.
Yes that is what I thought it meant! I recognise now that it's usually not what people mean when they say it, but still struggle with it.
October 15, 2023 at 2:19 PM
Yes that is what I thought it meant! I recognise now that it's usually not what people mean when they say it, but still struggle with it.
I agree, but also think that's too much to ask of people. Expecting someone to give their all, all the time, is unreasonable and dangerous.
'Just do your best' is a huge thing to ask! My autistic interpretation of that meant I was burned out by 12.
'Just do your best' is a huge thing to ask! My autistic interpretation of that meant I was burned out by 12.
October 15, 2023 at 8:52 AM
I agree, but also think that's too much to ask of people. Expecting someone to give their all, all the time, is unreasonable and dangerous.
'Just do your best' is a huge thing to ask! My autistic interpretation of that meant I was burned out by 12.
'Just do your best' is a huge thing to ask! My autistic interpretation of that meant I was burned out by 12.
Yes, it's easier to learn something than have to learn something AND unlearn a whole load of things at the same time.
October 9, 2023 at 8:14 PM
Yes, it's easier to learn something than have to learn something AND unlearn a whole load of things at the same time.
Yes that's what I thought. That time is already a huge one with so much to process, so not beginning this at the same time has got to be better. He could understand so much more about himself by then.
It's going to be really helpful to have other people's opinions to share with them. Thanks!
It's going to be really helpful to have other people's opinions to share with them. Thanks!
October 9, 2023 at 8:13 PM
Yes that's what I thought. That time is already a huge one with so much to process, so not beginning this at the same time has got to be better. He could understand so much more about himself by then.
It's going to be really helpful to have other people's opinions to share with them. Thanks!
It's going to be really helpful to have other people's opinions to share with them. Thanks!
Thank you.
I imagine finding out without knowing what it meant must have been really confusing. Then you've just got to try to piece it together over time, and work out what's true.
The conversation is definitely going to come with a lot of explanation and support, so I'm pleased/hopeful for him.
I imagine finding out without knowing what it meant must have been really confusing. Then you've just got to try to piece it together over time, and work out what's true.
The conversation is definitely going to come with a lot of explanation and support, so I'm pleased/hopeful for him.
October 9, 2023 at 8:11 PM
Thank you.
I imagine finding out without knowing what it meant must have been really confusing. Then you've just got to try to piece it together over time, and work out what's true.
The conversation is definitely going to come with a lot of explanation and support, so I'm pleased/hopeful for him.
I imagine finding out without knowing what it meant must have been really confusing. Then you've just got to try to piece it together over time, and work out what's true.
The conversation is definitely going to come with a lot of explanation and support, so I'm pleased/hopeful for him.
Yes I think that's part of the issue - the child only knows one other autistic person (at least openly/known), and it's a child who's very different from them, so could be confusing if they're the only reference point. Intros to autistics or at least some videos of other kids might really help.
October 9, 2023 at 8:08 PM
Yes I think that's part of the issue - the child only knows one other autistic person (at least openly/known), and it's a child who's very different from them, so could be confusing if they're the only reference point. Intros to autistics or at least some videos of other kids might really help.
That is how I feel, but it's going to be really helpful to have opinions and experiences to share which aren't just my own. Thanks very much.
October 9, 2023 at 8:06 PM
That is how I feel, but it's going to be really helpful to have opinions and experiences to share which aren't just my own. Thanks very much.
I was a teacher for many years but didn't truly start understanding it means to be autistic until I started learning from from autistic sources. The training I got, almost exclusively, was things I then needed to unlearn.
October 8, 2023 at 4:16 PM
I was a teacher for many years but didn't truly start understanding it means to be autistic until I started learning from from autistic sources. The training I got, almost exclusively, was things I then needed to unlearn.
I can't thank you enough for your response. It will be so helpful to share the experience/opinion of another parent, particularly as you wish things had been done differently.
I'm glad your son has such a reflective parent who is keen to learn and support him. That will go a LONG way.
I'm glad your son has such a reflective parent who is keen to learn and support him. That will go a LONG way.
October 8, 2023 at 4:15 PM
I can't thank you enough for your response. It will be so helpful to share the experience/opinion of another parent, particularly as you wish things had been done differently.
I'm glad your son has such a reflective parent who is keen to learn and support him. That will go a LONG way.
I'm glad your son has such a reflective parent who is keen to learn and support him. That will go a LONG way.
I used to feel so broken that I really think an explanation for so much would've helped. But maybe just teaching him about autism and meeting autistic people would be the best start. He only knows one autistic child, so it'll be hard for him to understand with only one reference point.
October 8, 2023 at 4:11 PM
I used to feel so broken that I really think an explanation for so much would've helped. But maybe just teaching him about autism and meeting autistic people would be the best start. He only knows one autistic child, so it'll be hard for him to understand with only one reference point.
That's interesting. Thanks so much for responding, as I really wanted to gather more people's experiences/opinions to share with them than just mine.
October 8, 2023 at 4:11 PM
That's interesting. Thanks so much for responding, as I really wanted to gather more people's experiences/opinions to share with them than just mine.
Thanks so much. I want to gather as many people's opinions and experiences as I can, so that it's not just me advising with what I think.
I was 37 too, and wish it had been much earlier. Though how I might've been told/treated in the 90s could have left me feeling more broken, rather than less.
I was 37 too, and wish it had been much earlier. Though how I might've been told/treated in the 90s could have left me feeling more broken, rather than less.
October 8, 2023 at 4:08 PM
Thanks so much. I want to gather as many people's opinions and experiences as I can, so that it's not just me advising with what I think.
I was 37 too, and wish it had been much earlier. Though how I might've been told/treated in the 90s could have left me feeling more broken, rather than less.
I was 37 too, and wish it had been much earlier. Though how I might've been told/treated in the 90s could have left me feeling more broken, rather than less.
A now very-frequent pattern in nuerodivergent families!
I'm sorry it was slow for him, but glad he could learn about himself with the context of knowing you're autistic.
I'm sorry it was slow for him, but glad he could learn about himself with the context of knowing you're autistic.
October 8, 2023 at 10:35 AM
A now very-frequent pattern in nuerodivergent families!
I'm sorry it was slow for him, but glad he could learn about himself with the context of knowing you're autistic.
I'm sorry it was slow for him, but glad he could learn about himself with the context of knowing you're autistic.
Thank you for the info, still helpful! I want to gather as many experiences/opinions as I can so that it's not just mine.
Was it that you'd already taught your son enough about it, in relation to you, that he could recognise he was similar?
Was it that you'd already taught your son enough about it, in relation to you, that he could recognise he was similar?
October 8, 2023 at 9:50 AM
Thank you for the info, still helpful! I want to gather as many experiences/opinions as I can so that it's not just mine.
Was it that you'd already taught your son enough about it, in relation to you, that he could recognise he was similar?
Was it that you'd already taught your son enough about it, in relation to you, that he could recognise he was similar?
Yes, I am conscious that I would be treated differently, either way, when presumed younger or older.
I suspect that means I feel differently and treat people differently too, and am going to try to think carefully about what is logical/illogical and right/wrong in that.
I suspect that means I feel differently and treat people differently too, and am going to try to think carefully about what is logical/illogical and right/wrong in that.
October 8, 2023 at 9:40 AM
Yes, I am conscious that I would be treated differently, either way, when presumed younger or older.
I suspect that means I feel differently and treat people differently too, and am going to try to think carefully about what is logical/illogical and right/wrong in that.
I suspect that means I feel differently and treat people differently too, and am going to try to think carefully about what is logical/illogical and right/wrong in that.
Ah yes, I can see that would likely pigeon hole you into one pronoun.
'Autie over Forty' or 'Autie from Forty' would have you permanently covered, but it's still hard. I still miss my original name but 'MaybeAutistic' is not me any more (thank goodness).
'Autie over Forty' or 'Autie from Forty' would have you permanently covered, but it's still hard. I still miss my original name but 'MaybeAutistic' is not me any more (thank goodness).
October 8, 2023 at 9:38 AM
Ah yes, I can see that would likely pigeon hole you into one pronoun.
'Autie over Forty' or 'Autie from Forty' would have you permanently covered, but it's still hard. I still miss my original name but 'MaybeAutistic' is not me any more (thank goodness).
'Autie over Forty' or 'Autie from Forty' would have you permanently covered, but it's still hard. I still miss my original name but 'MaybeAutistic' is not me any more (thank goodness).
'Autie in their/her/his Forties' would give you an extension. But I wouldn't like to lose the rhyme!
You have prompted me to think about age.
I wouldn't like to be assumed younger or older than I am, but I can't determine why that is.
You have prompted me to think about age.
I wouldn't like to be assumed younger or older than I am, but I can't determine why that is.
October 8, 2023 at 1:19 AM
'Autie in their/her/his Forties' would give you an extension. But I wouldn't like to lose the rhyme!
You have prompted me to think about age.
I wouldn't like to be assumed younger or older than I am, but I can't determine why that is.
You have prompted me to think about age.
I wouldn't like to be assumed younger or older than I am, but I can't determine why that is.
Wow. I really try to understand people but sometimes it feels impossible. It must be about a lot of things, but I can't imagine that any of them are you. I'm sorry. But I'm also glad they're not in your group anymore.
October 7, 2023 at 3:43 PM
Wow. I really try to understand people but sometimes it feels impossible. It must be about a lot of things, but I can't imagine that any of them are you. I'm sorry. But I'm also glad they're not in your group anymore.
It is such an absurdly long time, and it takes so much for most people to even get to the point of approaching their GP for a referral. I really feel the wait is cruel and I'm sorry you're in it now.
For this and so many other reasons, the NHS desperately needs funding.
For this and so many other reasons, the NHS desperately needs funding.
October 6, 2023 at 10:39 PM
It is such an absurdly long time, and it takes so much for most people to even get to the point of approaching their GP for a referral. I really feel the wait is cruel and I'm sorry you're in it now.
For this and so many other reasons, the NHS desperately needs funding.
For this and so many other reasons, the NHS desperately needs funding.
She was pretty wonderful! Patient, kind, knowledgable. And my next steps are just to look at what is available in a few categories, and I don't have to buy or eat any of it. This feels, at least, achievable.
October 5, 2023 at 6:36 PM
She was pretty wonderful! Patient, kind, knowledgable. And my next steps are just to look at what is available in a few categories, and I don't have to buy or eat any of it. This feels, at least, achievable.
I have not heard it put this way. It sounds exactly right.
October 4, 2023 at 8:09 PM
I have not heard it put this way. It sounds exactly right.
At school the chant then followed on to '1,3,5,7,9 - odd numbers, they are fine'.
Rather damned with faint praise (unless you imbue 'fine' with the energy of 'Damn she's fine!')
Rather damned with faint praise (unless you imbue 'fine' with the energy of 'Damn she's fine!')
October 4, 2023 at 6:48 PM
At school the chant then followed on to '1,3,5,7,9 - odd numbers, they are fine'.
Rather damned with faint praise (unless you imbue 'fine' with the energy of 'Damn she's fine!')
Rather damned with faint praise (unless you imbue 'fine' with the energy of 'Damn she's fine!')