Ingrid Elkner
@ingridelkner.bsky.social
I wrote words that came out of Jamie Foxx & Danny Trejo's mouths. Comedy. Horror. Music maker. Creep-O-Vision host.
🌎 Melbourne, Australia
🌎 Melbourne, Australia
Pinned
Ingrid Elkner
@ingridelkner.bsky.social
· May 11
I can't believe I'm going to end up dating someone's dad. Like... an old person with a wallet. So embarrassing. Calling an actual dad Daddy.
A guy has in his dating bio:
"Member of MENSA (that's the high IQ organisation)"
That's called MENSplaining.
"Member of MENSA (that's the high IQ organisation)"
That's called MENSplaining.
November 26, 2025 at 3:22 PM
A guy has in his dating bio:
"Member of MENSA (that's the high IQ organisation)"
That's called MENSplaining.
"Member of MENSA (that's the high IQ organisation)"
That's called MENSplaining.
What is "I'm a Scorpio" code for? Is it in the DSM-5?
November 25, 2025 at 1:53 PM
What is "I'm a Scorpio" code for? Is it in the DSM-5?
"You can't make art that you love if you hate yourself."
-Creative Pep Talk podcast
-Creative Pep Talk podcast
November 24, 2025 at 11:19 AM
"You can't make art that you love if you hate yourself."
-Creative Pep Talk podcast
-Creative Pep Talk podcast
"The things that are your limitations are also your style."
-Suzanne Vega
-Suzanne Vega
November 24, 2025 at 5:27 AM
"The things that are your limitations are also your style."
-Suzanne Vega
-Suzanne Vega
Doin' a 6 7 in the skibidi toilet
November 23, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Doin' a 6 7 in the skibidi toilet
Dude sent me seven dick pics in a row. Guy, it looks the same. It's a selfie of a small bald man with the same blank facial expression, seven times. Ya dick is not special. There are 4 billion just like it. At least give it a little Santa hat or a monocle.
November 18, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Dude sent me seven dick pics in a row. Guy, it looks the same. It's a selfie of a small bald man with the same blank facial expression, seven times. Ya dick is not special. There are 4 billion just like it. At least give it a little Santa hat or a monocle.
Is there a name for a triple-banded rainbow? Not separate rainbows, but one big fat one that repeats the colours three times?
November 17, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Is there a name for a triple-banded rainbow? Not separate rainbows, but one big fat one that repeats the colours three times?
Reposted by Ingrid Elkner
Love this so much. 💜
November 15, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Love this so much. 💜
It's fun being told to boycott everyone and everything by people whose bios say "Fuck Off terfs & swerfs" and feeds full of their love for Harry Potter.
Like, they cannot live without Harry Potter.
Even though The Worst Witch pre-dated those books and was almost the same, with a girl not a boy.
Like, they cannot live without Harry Potter.
Even though The Worst Witch pre-dated those books and was almost the same, with a girl not a boy.
November 15, 2025 at 4:18 PM
It's fun being told to boycott everyone and everything by people whose bios say "Fuck Off terfs & swerfs" and feeds full of their love for Harry Potter.
Like, they cannot live without Harry Potter.
Even though The Worst Witch pre-dated those books and was almost the same, with a girl not a boy.
Like, they cannot live without Harry Potter.
Even though The Worst Witch pre-dated those books and was almost the same, with a girl not a boy.
Are we getting Christmassified in November this year because everyone is sad and desperate to feel festive warmth? I've never seen Christmas pushed so early before.
November 15, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Are we getting Christmassified in November this year because everyone is sad and desperate to feel festive warmth? I've never seen Christmas pushed so early before.
You can't make a movie about being a DAD unless it has EXPLOSIONS and ACTION and CAR CHASE, because MEN need to know LIFE ISN'T OVER WHEN THEY ARE INDOCTRINATED INTO DOMESTICATION and being a DAD is all about WACKY TIMES and HIGH TESTOSTERONE and not their wife telling them they're a DISAPPOINTMENT
November 13, 2025 at 5:53 AM
You can't make a movie about being a DAD unless it has EXPLOSIONS and ACTION and CAR CHASE, because MEN need to know LIFE ISN'T OVER WHEN THEY ARE INDOCTRINATED INTO DOMESTICATION and being a DAD is all about WACKY TIMES and HIGH TESTOSTERONE and not their wife telling them they're a DISAPPOINTMENT
Your grandchildren will be dating robots, wearing Chaplin/Hitler moustaches (there will be no more bad trends to recycle), and living in Amazon cities where they work at the factory and sleep in relaxo-cubes. They'll be saving to move to Mars and breathe computer-regulated air.
November 10, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Your grandchildren will be dating robots, wearing Chaplin/Hitler moustaches (there will be no more bad trends to recycle), and living in Amazon cities where they work at the factory and sleep in relaxo-cubes. They'll be saving to move to Mars and breathe computer-regulated air.
Internet dating is great! It's like thinking you're going to a party but it's actually a brothel and you work there for free.
November 7, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Internet dating is great! It's like thinking you're going to a party but it's actually a brothel and you work there for free.
Havin' a sook in the sun.
November 5, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Havin' a sook in the sun.
I don't understand doomscrolling.
I hopescroll.
Gimme some of that luscious dopamine, that sweet treat of serotonin.
I hopescroll.
Gimme some of that luscious dopamine, that sweet treat of serotonin.
November 4, 2025 at 1:50 PM
I don't understand doomscrolling.
I hopescroll.
Gimme some of that luscious dopamine, that sweet treat of serotonin.
I hopescroll.
Gimme some of that luscious dopamine, that sweet treat of serotonin.
Haters aren't creators.
November 2, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Haters aren't creators.
"But, have you like, done it to a really hot girl?"
#overheard
#overheard
November 2, 2025 at 2:52 PM
"But, have you like, done it to a really hot girl?"
#overheard
#overheard
So Lily Allen's accent when she sings is a whole put-on? Trying to sound East London when she's West London? A lower class cosplay?
November 1, 2025 at 7:34 AM
So Lily Allen's accent when she sings is a whole put-on? Trying to sound East London when she's West London? A lower class cosplay?
Someone called it Goth Christmas, and I say, go forth and ho ho ho.
November 1, 2025 at 7:04 AM
Someone called it Goth Christmas, and I say, go forth and ho ho ho.
Guy last night hitting on me kept saying I'm "valuable" he can "tell I'm worth it". And then he said all he has to offer is... "potential".
...Before asking me to come back to his hotel.
Hello Bugatti salesman, I'd like this Bugatti, it is valuable, it is worth it. I am willing to pay... potential.
...Before asking me to come back to his hotel.
Hello Bugatti salesman, I'd like this Bugatti, it is valuable, it is worth it. I am willing to pay... potential.
November 1, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Guy last night hitting on me kept saying I'm "valuable" he can "tell I'm worth it". And then he said all he has to offer is... "potential".
...Before asking me to come back to his hotel.
Hello Bugatti salesman, I'd like this Bugatti, it is valuable, it is worth it. I am willing to pay... potential.
...Before asking me to come back to his hotel.
Hello Bugatti salesman, I'd like this Bugatti, it is valuable, it is worth it. I am willing to pay... potential.
MINDFULNESS FOR ZOMBIES - out now!
youtu.be/trpz4_J_0eo?...
youtu.be/trpz4_J_0eo?...
October 31, 2025 at 6:30 AM
MINDFULNESS FOR ZOMBIES - out now!
youtu.be/trpz4_J_0eo?...
youtu.be/trpz4_J_0eo?...
Guy on dating app.
Lists himself as Straight.
First photo - Grindr watermark.
Can't make this shit up.
Lists himself as Straight.
First photo - Grindr watermark.
Can't make this shit up.
October 30, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Guy on dating app.
Lists himself as Straight.
First photo - Grindr watermark.
Can't make this shit up.
Lists himself as Straight.
First photo - Grindr watermark.
Can't make this shit up.
October 30, 2025 at 2:44 PM