Mark A
@impalemail.bsky.social
Chronic overthinker. Writer. Full-time chaos gremlin. Gold Medalist at reaching my destination and forgetting what the fuck I wanted there.
Here’s a photo of MAGA clowns just standing there and not holding anything.
July 14, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Here’s a photo of MAGA clowns just standing there and not holding anything.
So this billionaire snake is strong-arming the government into firing experienced public employees, just so he can swoop in, privatize their work, and funnel taxpayer money straight into his own pocket. And he’s selling it like he’s doing us all a favor. Fuck Elon Musk.
February 19, 2025 at 4:24 AM
So this billionaire snake is strong-arming the government into firing experienced public employees, just so he can swoop in, privatize their work, and funnel taxpayer money straight into his own pocket. And he’s selling it like he’s doing us all a favor. Fuck Elon Musk.
At this rate, Trump’s gonna break an arm himself jerking off over pretend accomplishments.
February 4, 2025 at 9:46 PM
At this rate, Trump’s gonna break an arm himself jerking off over pretend accomplishments.
BREAKING: Sentient spray tan accidentally tells the truth. Experts are calling it a one-time event.
February 1, 2025 at 3:58 AM
BREAKING: Sentient spray tan accidentally tells the truth. Experts are calling it a one-time event.
Hear that, guys? Do NOT screenshot her posts or share a screenshot of her posts. 🫡
January 27, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Hear that, guys? Do NOT screenshot her posts or share a screenshot of her posts. 🫡
Oh, so disaster aid is a bargaining chip now? Cool. Then how about California keeps its tax dollars instead of bankrolling the broke-ass states that rely on its federal contributions? Let’s see how long they last without their golden goose while they whine about “self-sufficiency.”
January 23, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Oh, so disaster aid is a bargaining chip now? Cool. Then how about California keeps its tax dollars instead of bankrolling the broke-ass states that rely on its federal contributions? Let’s see how long they last without their golden goose while they whine about “self-sufficiency.”
Oh look, the TikTok TED Talk approach to gaslighting—calm face, incredulous tone, soft lighting, and pure, unfiltered horseshit. Elon could’ve goose-stepped offstage, and this clueless dipshit would still be breathlessly explaining into her phone, “Actually, what you saw isn’t what happened.”
January 23, 2025 at 7:59 AM
Oh look, the TikTok TED Talk approach to gaslighting—calm face, incredulous tone, soft lighting, and pure, unfiltered horseshit. Elon could’ve goose-stepped offstage, and this clueless dipshit would still be breathlessly explaining into her phone, “Actually, what you saw isn’t what happened.”
It’s a bold strategy to stack misconceptions on top of each other like a Jenga tower of ignorance. The real challenge is deciding which claim collapses first under the weight of basic historical literacy.
January 22, 2025 at 1:31 AM
It’s a bold strategy to stack misconceptions on top of each other like a Jenga tower of ignorance. The real challenge is deciding which claim collapses first under the weight of basic historical literacy.
Buddy, you already dropped five grand on this sequel to your own worst decision, might as well go all in. Storm it again! See if you can unlock the final boss cutscene where you meet your messiah… through prison glass.
January 19, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Buddy, you already dropped five grand on this sequel to your own worst decision, might as well go all in. Storm it again! See if you can unlock the final boss cutscene where you meet your messiah… through prison glass.
The protest all year, ghost the ballot box crowd—loud online, silent where it counts. Screaming about oppression, then handing power to the worst option through pure negligence. Performative activism at its peak. If voting “wouldn’t have mattered,” why is the other side so damn eager to suppress it?
January 18, 2025 at 5:19 AM
The protest all year, ghost the ballot box crowd—loud online, silent where it counts. Screaming about oppression, then handing power to the worst option through pure negligence. Performative activism at its peak. If voting “wouldn’t have mattered,” why is the other side so damn eager to suppress it?
I don’t know, Marjorie—why don’t they just ask Bigfoot to borrow his magical rain stick and have the Loch Ness Monster deliver it to California!?
January 13, 2025 at 6:19 AM
I don’t know, Marjorie—why don’t they just ask Bigfoot to borrow his magical rain stick and have the Loch Ness Monster deliver it to California!?
Elon’s trying to mask Cybertruck flops by spinning it as a lifeline for LA, but here’s the reality: plummeting sales, recalls galore, $100k starting price, and his PR disasters are driving buyers away. Tesla’s Cybercrap is skidding off the road.
January 13, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Elon’s trying to mask Cybertruck flops by spinning it as a lifeline for LA, but here’s the reality: plummeting sales, recalls galore, $100k starting price, and his PR disasters are driving buyers away. Tesla’s Cybercrap is skidding off the road.
As a Californian, watching Trump complain about fire containment after threatening to withhold the funds we needed is disgusting. His hypocrisy knows no bounds—sabotaging efforts, then using the chaos to score cheap political points. Absolute trash.
January 9, 2025 at 5:32 AM
As a Californian, watching Trump complain about fire containment after threatening to withhold the funds we needed is disgusting. His hypocrisy knows no bounds—sabotaging efforts, then using the chaos to score cheap political points. Absolute trash.
Reading Musk’s constant flow of bullshit is like watching a fish criticizing a bird for not swimming while flopping around cluelessly on dry land.
January 9, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Reading Musk’s constant flow of bullshit is like watching a fish criticizing a bird for not swimming while flopping around cluelessly on dry land.
Whose hand is up his ass to work his mouth this time, making him abandon every “America First” promise to suddenly drool over annexing sovereign nations? Feels less like policy and more like a ventriloquist act with a leathery orange puppet.
January 7, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Whose hand is up his ass to work his mouth this time, making him abandon every “America First” promise to suddenly drool over annexing sovereign nations? Feels less like policy and more like a ventriloquist act with a leathery orange puppet.
Breaking news: Local feline vigilante keeps a sharp eye on the neighborhood, ensuring no squirrel dares to cross the property line. Reports confirm she’s cute, cuddly, and takes her security duties very seriously.
January 6, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Breaking news: Local feline vigilante keeps a sharp eye on the neighborhood, ensuring no squirrel dares to cross the property line. Reports confirm she’s cute, cuddly, and takes her security duties very seriously.
Elon Musk really said America’s engineers are the equivalent of rec-league players, and we need foreign MVPs just to stay competitive. Exactly the kind of take you’d expect from someone who’s only ever surrounded by yes-men and clueless fanboys.
January 5, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Elon Musk really said America’s engineers are the equivalent of rec-league players, and we need foreign MVPs just to stay competitive. Exactly the kind of take you’d expect from someone who’s only ever surrounded by yes-men and clueless fanboys.
Trump’s losing his shit again—screaming about witch hunts and gag orders like the Constitution was his personal diary. For a guy who never shuts the fuck up, he sure whines a lot about being silenced.
January 4, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Trump’s losing his shit again—screaming about witch hunts and gag orders like the Constitution was his personal diary. For a guy who never shuts the fuck up, he sure whines a lot about being silenced.
Elon tweeting high as a kite about skull sizes at midnight really makes you wonder; how does the richest man have this much free time to sound this fucking stupid? I guess all that “work ethic” talk was just code for ketamine binges and forum rabbit holes.
January 3, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Elon tweeting high as a kite about skull sizes at midnight really makes you wonder; how does the richest man have this much free time to sound this fucking stupid? I guess all that “work ethic” talk was just code for ketamine binges and forum rabbit holes.
Tru 📠. The Last Jedi dared to subvert expectations and explore character depth, but instead of doubling down, the sequel caved to whiny fanboys who couldn’t handle something new. It could’ve redefined Star Wars, and it’s a shame they retreated back to recycled nostalgia.
January 3, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Tru 📠. The Last Jedi dared to subvert expectations and explore character depth, but instead of doubling down, the sequel caved to whiny fanboys who couldn’t handle something new. It could’ve redefined Star Wars, and it’s a shame they retreated back to recycled nostalgia.
2025 is off to a hell of a start.
January 2, 2025 at 9:39 PM
2025 is off to a hell of a start.
It’s honestly impressive how Elon manages to combine arrogance, delusion, and lethal product design into one overpriced disaster on wheels. The only thing that Cybertruck contained better than a blast was the last shred of faith anyone had in his imaginary engineering skills.
January 2, 2025 at 6:35 AM
It’s honestly impressive how Elon manages to combine arrogance, delusion, and lethal product design into one overpriced disaster on wheels. The only thing that Cybertruck contained better than a blast was the last shred of faith anyone had in his imaginary engineering skills.
Asking Congress to ban stock trading is like asking toddlers to ban naps. Good luck getting them to give up their favorite hobby. They’re more likely to rebrand it as “patriotic investments” and keep cashing in.
January 2, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Asking Congress to ban stock trading is like asking toddlers to ban naps. Good luck getting them to give up their favorite hobby. They’re more likely to rebrand it as “patriotic investments” and keep cashing in.