Was passed a link…

Him: It’s all Slipknot songs at the same time!!!

Me: No, I feel certain this person is undergoing amputation with no anesthetic.

Pro Tip: Watch people react to @xgofficial.bsky.social ‘s “Woke Up” for the first time. You’re welcome.

I hold my own on a daily basis until I cross this threshold. On the other side of this door, I am crying in distress, wilting under pressure, and giving them all my money before I faint from the duress of whatever issue brought me here in the first place.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t create problems so that they can look like a savior solving them!

My office has two conference rooms. One named Biggie, the other named Smalls. I work with geniuses.

University commencement speakers are often notable members of the community or even famous celebrities that can inspire graduates with a blend of wisdom and humor. This spring, the University of Maryland invited someone who is all of those things and very green: Kermit the Frog. cnn.it/4i9aGYp

Them: What are you up to?

Me:

No longer waiting to exhale.

Why do we pretend like Dick Tracy never happened?

My #squad.

#cats

You might be a #workaholic if your boss emails you, “We love the dedication, but for the love of God PLEASE take a vacation—you’ve hit the cap!”

#work #worklifebalance

Permanent mood.

If my marriage doesn’t work out, I will never let on, but there will be signs.

#cats #marriage