Crab Jesus.
@ifjesuswasacrab.bsky.social
Just a Crustacean God
My mental spiral.
My mental spiral.
Anyways I got 'Duck you'
December 7, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Anyways I got 'Duck you'
Few days ago
A-"Hey S, youre being really mean to me lately and its making me depressed"
Today
S-" i got you this early Christmas gift"
A-"thanks.."
I feel like there's a hidden message here. And im just too sad to care.
A-"Hey S, youre being really mean to me lately and its making me depressed"
Today
S-" i got you this early Christmas gift"
A-"thanks.."
I feel like there's a hidden message here. And im just too sad to care.
December 7, 2025 at 8:35 AM
Few days ago
A-"Hey S, youre being really mean to me lately and its making me depressed"
Today
S-" i got you this early Christmas gift"
A-"thanks.."
I feel like there's a hidden message here. And im just too sad to care.
A-"Hey S, youre being really mean to me lately and its making me depressed"
Today
S-" i got you this early Christmas gift"
A-"thanks.."
I feel like there's a hidden message here. And im just too sad to care.
I can cook anything, absolutely anything. I can learn it all.
But dont you EVER ask me to cook rice, on the stove top. Minute,calorose,jasmine,basmati. Does not matter it ALL turns out the same, crunchy and soggy.
But dont you EVER ask me to cook rice, on the stove top. Minute,calorose,jasmine,basmati. Does not matter it ALL turns out the same, crunchy and soggy.
November 12, 2025 at 9:35 AM
I can cook anything, absolutely anything. I can learn it all.
But dont you EVER ask me to cook rice, on the stove top. Minute,calorose,jasmine,basmati. Does not matter it ALL turns out the same, crunchy and soggy.
But dont you EVER ask me to cook rice, on the stove top. Minute,calorose,jasmine,basmati. Does not matter it ALL turns out the same, crunchy and soggy.
Spank my ass and tongue my fart box.
October 26, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Spank my ass and tongue my fart box.
Pros:
-
-
-
Cons:
-built like the lorax.
-lorax build
-baked bean.
-
-
-
Cons:
-built like the lorax.
-lorax build
-baked bean.
October 23, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Pros:
-
-
-
Cons:
-built like the lorax.
-lorax build
-baked bean.
-
-
-
Cons:
-built like the lorax.
-lorax build
-baked bean.
"I'm not a naked mole rat, I HAVE BANGS"
October 18, 2025 at 1:18 AM
"I'm not a naked mole rat, I HAVE BANGS"
The possibilities of a squirrel killing you are low, but never zero
October 11, 2025 at 2:05 AM
The possibilities of a squirrel killing you are low, but never zero
"Hey mum, I made ypu candybis"
October 10, 2025 at 2:10 PM
"Hey mum, I made ypu candybis"
Hey Adrienne, Here at #Spotify we noticed you are going through it. Now you can combine your two main sad Playlist for a seamless breakdown.
October 9, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Hey Adrienne, Here at #Spotify we noticed you are going through it. Now you can combine your two main sad Playlist for a seamless breakdown.
princess fairy frog cake, for a princess fairy frog girl, @chuuna-moe.bsky.social
October 5, 2025 at 4:04 AM
princess fairy frog cake, for a princess fairy frog girl, @chuuna-moe.bsky.social
Ask me about my hemorrhoids
September 24, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Ask me about my hemorrhoids
Flash thought, what if a wasp attacks your buthole.
September 16, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Flash thought, what if a wasp attacks your buthole.
Am i made out of bugs?
September 9, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Am i made out of bugs?
Ever manifest a weed whacker?
August 19, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Ever manifest a weed whacker?
I went for a smoke and locked myself out of my house at 5am
....
No one in my house wakes up earlier than noon.
....
No one in my house wakes up earlier than noon.
August 11, 2025 at 10:25 AM
I went for a smoke and locked myself out of my house at 5am
....
No one in my house wakes up earlier than noon.
....
No one in my house wakes up earlier than noon.
What a time to be alive, I made 25 dollars for armpit pictures.
July 16, 2025 at 5:49 AM
What a time to be alive, I made 25 dollars for armpit pictures.
Yesterday I found out someone stole my wagon from my yard.
Today I found my wagon in someone else's yard.
And stole the cunt back.
(I know its mine because it has the makeup in the front pocket that was there when it was stolen)
Today I found my wagon in someone else's yard.
And stole the cunt back.
(I know its mine because it has the makeup in the front pocket that was there when it was stolen)
June 25, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Yesterday I found out someone stole my wagon from my yard.
Today I found my wagon in someone else's yard.
And stole the cunt back.
(I know its mine because it has the makeup in the front pocket that was there when it was stolen)
Today I found my wagon in someone else's yard.
And stole the cunt back.
(I know its mine because it has the makeup in the front pocket that was there when it was stolen)
"I dont think I should go through with saying this.......watercooler"
What about a watercooler?
"Wood"
What about a watercooler?
"Wood"
June 25, 2025 at 2:25 AM
"I dont think I should go through with saying this.......watercooler"
What about a watercooler?
"Wood"
What about a watercooler?
"Wood"
Last year after a month of torment from the squirrels, I might have gone a little nuts, but it was well warranted.
June 21, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Last year after a month of torment from the squirrels, I might have gone a little nuts, but it was well warranted.
"We're twins, bonded for life, we've got the same gazebo, gazebo buddies"
"Gazebros"
"Gazebros"
June 21, 2025 at 2:52 AM
"We're twins, bonded for life, we've got the same gazebo, gazebo buddies"
"Gazebros"
"Gazebros"
I'm starting to think these jumping spider "attacks" aren't a coincidence anymore.
I think they work for the squirrels.
I think they work for the squirrels.
June 20, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I'm starting to think these jumping spider "attacks" aren't a coincidence anymore.
I think they work for the squirrels.
I think they work for the squirrels.
I really just got cat called by someone on an electric scooter.
June 20, 2025 at 12:54 AM
I really just got cat called by someone on an electric scooter.
The smallest little strawberries.
June 18, 2025 at 9:22 PM
The smallest little strawberries.
The dandelions in my backyard that have grown to about half my size.
June 16, 2025 at 7:13 PM
The dandelions in my backyard that have grown to about half my size.
I bet your asking, did you find out where it was coming from?
You bet your ass is did as i slowly turn the corner down a more silent aisle. I realize the sound has followed me. I exit the url* and see the video I nutted to staring me in the face. Still playing.
Awful.
You bet your ass is did as i slowly turn the corner down a more silent aisle. I realize the sound has followed me. I exit the url* and see the video I nutted to staring me in the face. Still playing.
Awful.
Today while I was in Michael's i pulled out my phone to search for an item in Michael's.
I pop open my browser and click the ugly to start typing. Thats when I hear fairly loud porn playing. And I think man that's gotta be embarrassing.
I pop open my browser and click the ugly to start typing. Thats when I hear fairly loud porn playing. And I think man that's gotta be embarrassing.
June 12, 2025 at 2:56 AM
I bet your asking, did you find out where it was coming from?
You bet your ass is did as i slowly turn the corner down a more silent aisle. I realize the sound has followed me. I exit the url* and see the video I nutted to staring me in the face. Still playing.
Awful.
You bet your ass is did as i slowly turn the corner down a more silent aisle. I realize the sound has followed me. I exit the url* and see the video I nutted to staring me in the face. Still playing.
Awful.