This is my Christmas gift to my homeless neighbors, to the volunteers who get great joy from helping them…and, yes, to myself. Merry Christmas to all!

🧵 9 of 9

I'm not on this jury, obviously, but I think the one guy we can all agree did absolutely nothing wrong was the artist that made this delectable sandwich/bomb/torpedo.

What an absolute unit of a sandwich (/bomb/torpedo)

Sir, your impeccable wrapping skills are being discussed in a court of law. 🤩

Not guilty

Lairmore testifies that other agents gave him a plush sandwich toy, which he placed on the shelf in his office, and a patch that said "Felony Footlong," which he put on his lunch box.

Lairmore has chuckled with the rest of us at times. Defense really trying to underscore the unseriousness of it all