jonky
@iamjonky.bsky.social
Google Hangouts Influencer Of The Year 2011
To all my haters: yeh, ok fair enough
January 25, 2025 at 1:02 PM
To all my haters: yeh, ok fair enough
Squares are just lazy rectangles
December 27, 2024 at 10:03 AM
Squares are just lazy rectangles
Crying in the fish & chips shop because they won’t deep-fry my dead hamster (it’s what she would have wanted)
December 3, 2024 at 5:58 PM
Crying in the fish & chips shop because they won’t deep-fry my dead hamster (it’s what she would have wanted)
I’m taking the dogs for a walk (running around a Tesco car park without any shoes on screaming for somebody to love me)
December 3, 2024 at 5:57 PM
I’m taking the dogs for a walk (running around a Tesco car park without any shoes on screaming for somebody to love me)
Fun fact: my sleep paralysis demon is Gary Busey
December 3, 2024 at 5:55 PM
Fun fact: my sleep paralysis demon is Gary Busey
Reposted by jonky
Weeping at the beauty of a thoroughbred racehorse on Bing images
December 3, 2024 at 3:23 AM
Weeping at the beauty of a thoroughbred racehorse on Bing images
I hope my algorithm likes me 🥺
December 3, 2024 at 2:03 AM
I hope my algorithm likes me 🥺
Swallowing marbles so the next time I get food poisoning I turn into a human machine gun
December 3, 2024 at 2:02 AM
Swallowing marbles so the next time I get food poisoning I turn into a human machine gun
Reposted by jonky
doctor: You were practicing spin kicks in the kitchen?
me: yep
doctor: and there was a pot of boiling water on the stove?
me: right
doctor: and you did a "Chun Li-style tornado kick and didn't even knock over the water"?
me: yup
doctor: Very cool. Let's get this shampoo bottle out of your ass.
me: yep
doctor: and there was a pot of boiling water on the stove?
me: right
doctor: and you did a "Chun Li-style tornado kick and didn't even knock over the water"?
me: yup
doctor: Very cool. Let's get this shampoo bottle out of your ass.
December 2, 2024 at 3:33 PM
doctor: You were practicing spin kicks in the kitchen?
me: yep
doctor: and there was a pot of boiling water on the stove?
me: right
doctor: and you did a "Chun Li-style tornado kick and didn't even knock over the water"?
me: yup
doctor: Very cool. Let's get this shampoo bottle out of your ass.
me: yep
doctor: and there was a pot of boiling water on the stove?
me: right
doctor: and you did a "Chun Li-style tornado kick and didn't even knock over the water"?
me: yup
doctor: Very cool. Let's get this shampoo bottle out of your ass.
Real Housewives of Hyrule
December 2, 2024 at 8:26 PM
Real Housewives of Hyrule
Jesus Is The (flesh)Light
December 2, 2024 at 6:57 PM
Jesus Is The (flesh)Light
Someone’s had some nasty-ass sex in the Popemobile I just know it.
December 2, 2024 at 6:56 PM
Someone’s had some nasty-ass sex in the Popemobile I just know it.
Love seeing a new generation of shit posters thrive on this platform
December 2, 2024 at 12:49 PM
Love seeing a new generation of shit posters thrive on this platform
Forcing my nan to play Boar on the Floor or I won’t give her her medications
December 2, 2024 at 12:43 PM
Forcing my nan to play Boar on the Floor or I won’t give her her medications
Bugs Bunny’s girlfriend in Space Jam fucked up an entire generation of men
December 2, 2024 at 12:36 PM
Bugs Bunny’s girlfriend in Space Jam fucked up an entire generation of men
Me (about to watch The Bear): a bear trying to run a restaurant?! This is going to be good.
Me (watching The Bear): he’s gonna show up any minute and fuck some shit up.
Me (after watching The Bear): this is bullshit
Me (watching The Bear): he’s gonna show up any minute and fuck some shit up.
Me (after watching The Bear): this is bullshit
December 2, 2024 at 12:35 PM
Me (about to watch The Bear): a bear trying to run a restaurant?! This is going to be good.
Me (watching The Bear): he’s gonna show up any minute and fuck some shit up.
Me (after watching The Bear): this is bullshit
Me (watching The Bear): he’s gonna show up any minute and fuck some shit up.
Me (after watching The Bear): this is bullshit
Mad Men is bullshit.
There were only a handful of scenes where I would describe the men as “mad”
There were only a handful of scenes where I would describe the men as “mad”
December 2, 2024 at 12:32 PM
Mad Men is bullshit.
There were only a handful of scenes where I would describe the men as “mad”
There were only a handful of scenes where I would describe the men as “mad”
Spearmint flavoured tacos
December 2, 2024 at 12:31 PM
Spearmint flavoured tacos
$10000000 business idea: holy communion wine flavoured vape
December 2, 2024 at 12:15 PM
$10000000 business idea: holy communion wine flavoured vape
Lawyer: Mr. Kelly, these are very serious allegations we’re talking about.
Mr. Kelly: Please, call me Machine Gun
Mr. Kelly: Please, call me Machine Gun
December 1, 2024 at 11:55 PM
Lawyer: Mr. Kelly, these are very serious allegations we’re talking about.
Mr. Kelly: Please, call me Machine Gun
Mr. Kelly: Please, call me Machine Gun
Cardiac arrest?! On what grounds?!
December 1, 2024 at 11:53 PM
Cardiac arrest?! On what grounds?!
I want to carve the turkey this year and if dad tries any off his bullshit I’ll swing the saw around while screaming about the time I saw him smoking cigarettes behind the shed after he told mum he had quit
December 1, 2024 at 11:50 PM
I want to carve the turkey this year and if dad tries any off his bullshit I’ll swing the saw around while screaming about the time I saw him smoking cigarettes behind the shed after he told mum he had quit
FUN FACT: Jesus’s middle name was “Ron” after celebrated actor, producer and filmmaker Ron Howard.
December 1, 2024 at 11:30 PM
FUN FACT: Jesus’s middle name was “Ron” after celebrated actor, producer and filmmaker Ron Howard.