Jacob
LightNews LightNews
banner
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Jacob
@iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
470 followers 440 following 2.5K posts
I have an MA in archaeology and run a blog called Living in the Longue Durée about ancient history and whatever else. This profile is mostly funny observations about history and science.

Blog: https://livinginthelongueduree.com
Ask if you want Discord.
Posts Replies Media Videos
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Newest Skircle.
Skircle.
November 16, 2025 at 9:30 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
I’mma be real, homies. I really don’t know what to do with comments like this.

Saturn’s a baby-eater, I suppose, so there’s a dick-sucking joke to be made, but I don’t feel obligated to pretend that a vague statement about the planets with an appropriated Hindu-Buddhist term is meaningful.
[picture of Bill Clinton from one of my recent meme posts] R Michelle Urdang @michelleurdang.bsky.social “Saturday is ruled by Saturn; past life karma.”
November 16, 2025 at 9:10 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Captain James Cook.
Portrait of Captain James Cook.
November 15, 2025 at 10:14 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
“You can’t just make up new pronouns for yourself. 😡”

Qin Shi Huang: “Actually as First Emperor of China, I will be calling myself zhèn in the first person and that’s just for me. I will also be burying you alive like all the other smartasses.”
朕 1. (imperial) I; my (similar to the Royal we; reserved for use by the emperor since the Qin Dynasty) 2. (literary) omen; sign 3. (Cantonese) alternative form of [sorry, this is a Cantonese exclusive character and not on my keyboard] (zam6, “classifier for smells”)
November 14, 2025 at 6:03 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Stolen Facebook content.
“I was this many years old when I found out there were two living presidents in the picture.” [photo of Bill Clinton at his desk]
November 14, 2025 at 4:18 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
‘Sup, Bubbel buddies?
Bubbel.
November 14, 2025 at 4:11 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Relevant Taoist parable.
Zhuangzi's Butterfly Dream Once Zhuang Zhou dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know he was Zhuang Zhou. Suddenly, he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable Zhuang Zhou. But he didn't know if he was Zhuang Zhou who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was Zhuang Zhou. Between Zhuang Zhou and a butterfly there must be some distinction! This is called the Transformation of Things.
November 13, 2025 at 9:11 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Good news for all you 1819-to-1831 kids.

www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-...
“Colombian President Gustavo Petro has suggested recreating Gran Colombia - the early 19th Century country that included modern day Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador and Panama - on multiple occasions over the weekend.”
November 13, 2025 at 1:38 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Happy exploding whale day, Oregon homies!

💥 🐋
A whale getting blown up with TNT on November 12, 1970 in Florence, Oregon.
November 12, 2025 at 6:05 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Normal Discord interaction.
يعقوب خان (me): Apples are good. Robert Teaches: What about STDS? يعقوب خان: Sexually transmitted diseases? Robert Teaches: Yeah, I got one from an Izmiri femboy. [gif of Turkish flag] يعقوب خان: Rough. It would be odd to have a positive opinion of STDs or think of them in the vein of apples. Robert Teaches: On the bright side, it’s proof you got with an Izmiri femboy. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm! يعقوب خان: Meh.
November 11, 2025 at 2:32 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Me flipping upside down and going immobile after someone taps the glass.
Shark undergoing tonic immobility as a diver spins it upwards.
November 6, 2025 at 1:07 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
I walked a different way than usual this morning and found some Nazi-style sculptures outside the sports complex in Puteaux. On looking into it, the left was by Gaston Cadenet in 1943 and the right by Guy-Charles Revol in 1945. Both very alike to Arno Breker in style. Lingering fascist art.
Snapchat photo of two sculptures of muscular rigid men out front of a gate. I captioned it “OK, but why does this sports center have these Arno Breker looking statues out front?” Another Snapchat image showing an inscription from the bottom of one of the statues, reading “G. C. Revol 45.” I captioned it “O, they’re from 1945. They are exactly what they look like. Probably commissioned during the occupation and erected afterwards.”
November 6, 2025 at 9:44 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
I am ready.

(Stolen from a Reddit comment.)
Infographic historical map of the northeastern United States labeled “The Mamdani Dynasty at its Peak, 2107.” Color-coding distinguishes phases of the empire: “NYC in 2026.” “Conquered during Zohran’s first term.” “Conquered before the proclamation of the Empire.” “Conquered during Shah Zohran I.” “Conquered by future Mamdanid rulers.” “Temporary conquests under Shah Mahmoud I, The Scourge of Ohio.”
November 5, 2025 at 10:01 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
This comically bad French flag on this (I think) fascist sticker I saw in Boulogne-Billancourt today really captures AI being the visual language of fascism.

I’m curious though if anyone else knows what’s going on here with these two stickers.
Two stickers on the back of a street light. One is a round AI-generated image of a bunch of white men in the streets, some of which are throwing fascist salutes while fires burn nearby. Behind them is a big off-French flag with blue, white, red, white, and blue vertical stripes in that order. The second sticker has the face of a man with the German word “Spalter” stamped over him.
November 4, 2025 at 10:07 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Dunningkrugodon among the bones of the old giants. It is their world now.
Image of Cretaceous/Paleogene mammals among the bones of a Triceratops.
November 3, 2025 at 4:01 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
The nature of the death of online learning is oft-debated.
Discord screenshot of me (General Secretary Jacob Khan). “The slow burn of a massive pseudohistory industry.” [image representing the Deccan Traps, with dinosaurs on the ground in front of erupting volcanoes] “The sudden and tumultuous domination of the internet by AI.” [image of the K-T impactor hitting the Earth while pterosaurs fly by]
November 3, 2025 at 3:47 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
📜 🪶 Sir, I write to you with the utmost urgency and to be carried by the fastest horse.

New York is going to elect Zohran Mamdani, a practitioner of the religion of the Turks.

Have the youth no memory of the Barbary Wars? How will our merchants carry out their trade duties? A Tripolitan plot!
Goofy clipart of old-timey man writing with a quill.
November 3, 2025 at 2:40 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Skircle time!
Skircle.
November 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Shitposted a medieval verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” on Discord. Am I cooking or nah? (I’m aware it’s not chronological.)
Yǎgèbù Huàngdì, Son of Heaven: 🎵 Genghis Khan, Charlemagne, Arab dynasty in Spain, South Pacific Polynesians, Battle of Kosovo. Joan of Arc, Tenochtitlan, Viking raiders, buboes itching, Goguryeo, Joseon Korea, Mississippian, Taino. 🎵
November 2, 2025 at 3:14 PM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Tick.
October 30, 2025 at 8:29 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
This is the shit I hate. It would be so easy to use a real image of a fossil excavation with a dinosaur that isn’t anatomically absurd for your ostensibly “educational” article. They’re out there in the public domain. But no, AI images are journalistically acceptable for some fucking reason.
Revista Fórum @revistaforum.com.br Os fósseis que desafiam tudo o que se sabia sobre o fim de dinossauros [AI-generated thumbnail image of a bunch of paleontologists in a pit around a fully exposed and fully articulated “dinosaur” skeleton which seems to be vaguely going for T. rex but has short quadruped limbs and not even any knees] Os fósseis que desafiam tudo o que se sabia sobre o fim de dinossauros Análises magnéticas de rochas no Novo México indicam que as espécies continuavam se multipli…
October 28, 2025 at 8:12 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Was out running today by the Seine and came across a little flower memorial placed there by the Algerian consulate in memory of the 1961 Paris Massacre, when the Parisian police carried out a mass killing against Algerian protestors during the Algerian War.
Flower memorial with a sash reading “CONSULAT D ALGERIE A NANTERRE 17 OCTOBRE 1961.”
October 26, 2025 at 11:53 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Skircle time!
Skircle.
October 26, 2025 at 10:12 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
I think my favorite mammal skeleton structure might be that of the Myrcecophagidae, the group that includes giant anteaters (1, 2, 3) and northern and southern tamanduas (4). Look at their absurd build and wildly derived skulls. God’s goofiest creatures. Future indiscernible fossil animals.
A giant anteater depicted from the side. It is a quadrupedal mammal which walks on big clawed knuckles on its forelimbs. Its head is long and tube-like with very reduced eyes and ears. It has a massive bushy tail. It is grey, black, white, and brown in color. A giant anteater’s skeleton, which is almost unrecognizable. It has a thick but compact rib cage and an extremely pronounced build in its forelimbs while its back legs are short and unassuming. Its tail vertebrae make a stiff tail that look much shorter than it does with hair on it. Its neck is about the length of its skull with the skull being extremely long and skinny. A bar at the bottom indicates this skeleton is probably around 150 centimeters in length. A giant anteater’s skull. It is composed of a cranium and a mandible, which are separated like in any other mammal but there are no teeth and the mouth is tube-shaped. The nasal opening is directly on the front, giving it an even more pronounced tube look. The eye socket is the other dominating feature of the skull. The skull of a southern tamandua with the mandible opened in a way the animal could not open its mouth in life. It is not as lengthy and skinny a skull as that of the giant anteater. The nasal opening at the front is very pronounced. The mandible is composed of two thin bones which come together at pointed ends.
October 25, 2025 at 9:56 AM
iacobuscaesar.bsky.social
Encyclopediception.
The Wikipedia article for the World Book Encyclopedia has its first reference taken from the Encyclopedia Britannica article on the World Book Encyclopedia.
October 23, 2025 at 6:27 AM