I remember in Malaysian Chinese primary school we wrote a weekly journal that would be marked and the teacher sent me to the counsellor's office because I was having "disturbing thoughts" but those meetings were during class time so as I left classes people would whisper about me being a freak.

//cw: eyestrain

I made these in 2018 when I was 15 and you can already see it here. Content warning because the halftone texture everywhere sucks ass, I don't know what teenage me was thinking with this ugly-ass hard-to-see art style. 😭😭

(4/4)

Jia Hui 🐚

This Side of Paradise - Coyote Theory
Level of Concern - Twenty One Pilots
All Over - CRUISR
Violet - Hippo Campus

(3/4)

Qiu Feng 🍂

Youth - Daughter
Meet Me In The Woods - Lord Huron
Team - Lorde
Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier

(2/4)

Jian Ling 🥢

Cringe - Matt Maeson
Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
False Confidence - Noah Kahan
Sailor Song - Gigi Perez

Also choosing more vintage-inspired colours for lipsticks (the only make-up item I wear so far because foundation feels deeply uncomfortable) has been helping me look more like old Shanghai and less like a geisha, which was all I heard during high school graduation.

But I don't hate the way clothes look on me anymore. 😭😭 It finally feels like the clothes are cooperating with me rather than fighting against me. I'm finally wearing things other than T-shirt + jeans skfhskhdjs.

I just wasn't meant to wear "nice" clothes. But lately I've been exploring my personal style a little bit and choosing things that flatter my body more. I end up buying clothes that look more 50s style because that's when my kind of body shape was in trend. Still get weird looks from people my age-

I used to hate fashion and makeup because they always looked horrid on me, but after doing some measurements and finding out my body shape, I realized the problem was just that the clothes didn't suit my shape. A lot of people have a one-size-fits-all approach to style here so I grew up believing-

Looking forward to it!

Here's a photo of a sunrise I took while at sea! I edited it with some filters because I want to use it as a background for OC drawing in the future skfhjdhdj. The sky views on the open ocean were insane. I even managed to catch a lunar eclipse (no photos because I was working at the time 😭😭).

I also can't really watch movies anymore because last time I was so triggered by a movie scene that I threw up in a cinema and basically ruined the whole weekend for everyone. And yesterday my supervisor expressed concern for my wellbeing and I just lashed out at him. I didn't mean to.