HP Zoner
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hpzoner.crashmania.net
HP Zoner
@hpzoner.crashmania.net
"The Crash Mania guy", as I've been called. Almost never here unless I just played something I really liked or I'm speaking up against something nefarious.

My wife @teiranova.com drew the banner.

Profile pic is from Nicola Saviori's art.
For added context, Cortex wears Uka Uka as a mask in Warped, and the latter flies off if you decide not to continue, prompting Cortex to speak to you.
November 16, 2025 at 2:50 PM
And if it does turn out to be Myles, it will justify an otherwise baffling decision. Maybe. It will at least be a little bit funny, as opposed to whatever this is.

When you think about it, the only thing we've seen Sylux do so far is screw himself over.

The clues were there all along......
November 14, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I do genuinely believe some numbnuts on the team will go down this route, finally explaining why Sylux hates Samus and why there is some unknown history between them.

There has to be a reason for Samus to be stuck in the past with such prominently featured characters.
November 14, 2025 at 10:01 PM
The official acronym for this game is longer than a good percentage of full titles out there.

SMBWNS2E+MiBP looks like someone mashed their keyboard. I love it.
September 16, 2025 at 12:08 PM
I just heard someone mention the desert could simply be the main hub in this game, and instead of taking an elevator to an area, you ride the bike there.

This actually makes a lot of sense. I don't mind this approach at all, and if I weren't so dumb, I'd be surprised I hadn't considered that.
September 15, 2025 at 4:07 PM
I guess I'm just hoping this is more than an avenue for padding, because that desert looked very out of place in a series known for having each room/area unique, dense, and purposeful. But again, we have so little info, despite the game's 7 year development cycle and the nearing release date.
September 14, 2025 at 8:35 PM
I want to hold judgment on the grounds that MP1 was reviled before release, so I think Retro deserves the benefit of the doubt. I don't know if they'd add a bike just for the sake of it. Then again, the PR for this game has been so bad that I can't actually tell if that's the case.
September 14, 2025 at 8:35 PM