Horoscope Unhinged
@horoscopeunhinged.bsky.social
E.Two News
A fictional broadcast tracking real signals
through behavioral reactions across the signs.
Created by AAEDritive.
A fictional broadcast tracking real signals
through behavioral reactions across the signs.
Created by AAEDritive.
What returned wasn’t nostalgia.
It was compliance.
Across the signs, the pattern is consistent:
irony first,
resistance second,
participation anyway.
The song isn’t powerful.
The repetition is.
This has been E.Two News.
It was compliance.
Across the signs, the pattern is consistent:
irony first,
resistance second,
participation anyway.
The song isn’t powerful.
The repetition is.
This has been E.Two News.
December 18, 2025 at 9:40 PM
What returned wasn’t nostalgia.
It was compliance.
Across the signs, the pattern is consistent:
irony first,
resistance second,
participation anyway.
The song isn’t powerful.
The repetition is.
This has been E.Two News.
It was compliance.
Across the signs, the pattern is consistent:
irony first,
resistance second,
participation anyway.
The song isn’t powerful.
The repetition is.
This has been E.Two News.
♓ Pisces
Cries to all of them.
Even the bad ones.
Says it’s “part of the season.”
Means emotionally unsafe.
Cries to all of them.
Even the bad ones.
Says it’s “part of the season.”
Means emotionally unsafe.
December 18, 2025 at 9:40 PM
♓ Pisces
Cries to all of them.
Even the bad ones.
Says it’s “part of the season.”
Means emotionally unsafe.
Cries to all of them.
Even the bad ones.
Says it’s “part of the season.”
Means emotionally unsafe.
♒ Aquarius
Questions why these songs survived.
Not the others.
Starts a theory.
Stops mid-sentence.
No one asked.
Questions why these songs survived.
Not the others.
Starts a theory.
Stops mid-sentence.
No one asked.
December 18, 2025 at 9:39 PM
♒ Aquarius
Questions why these songs survived.
Not the others.
Starts a theory.
Stops mid-sentence.
No one asked.
Questions why these songs survived.
Not the others.
Starts a theory.
Stops mid-sentence.
No one asked.
♑ Capricorn
Allows exactly one Christmas song.
Once per year.
Any more feels irresponsible.
Allows exactly one Christmas song.
Once per year.
Any more feels irresponsible.
December 18, 2025 at 9:39 PM
♑ Capricorn
Allows exactly one Christmas song.
Once per year.
Any more feels irresponsible.
Allows exactly one Christmas song.
Once per year.
Any more feels irresponsible.
♐ Sagittarius
Calls the whole thing ridiculous.
Starts singing along five minutes later.
Irony collapses quickly.
Calls the whole thing ridiculous.
Starts singing along five minutes later.
Irony collapses quickly.
December 18, 2025 at 9:38 PM
♐ Sagittarius
Calls the whole thing ridiculous.
Starts singing along five minutes later.
Irony collapses quickly.
Calls the whole thing ridiculous.
Starts singing along five minutes later.
Irony collapses quickly.
♏ Scorpio
Claims indifference.
Secretly despises one song in particular.
Won’t say which.
Lets it show anyway.
Claims indifference.
Secretly despises one song in particular.
Won’t say which.
Lets it show anyway.
December 18, 2025 at 9:38 PM
♏ Scorpio
Claims indifference.
Secretly despises one song in particular.
Won’t say which.
Lets it show anyway.
Claims indifference.
Secretly despises one song in particular.
Won’t say which.
Lets it show anyway.
♎ Libra
Tries to mediate.
“There’s room for everyone.”
Secretly has a favorite.
Never admits it.
Tries to mediate.
“There’s room for everyone.”
Secretly has a favorite.
Never admits it.
December 18, 2025 at 9:38 PM
♎ Libra
Tries to mediate.
“There’s room for everyone.”
Secretly has a favorite.
Never admits it.
Tries to mediate.
“There’s room for everyone.”
Secretly has a favorite.
Never admits it.
♍ Virgo
Hates all of them.
Equally.
Passionately.
Still knows every lyric.
Hates that part more.
Hates all of them.
Equally.
Passionately.
Still knows every lyric.
Hates that part more.
December 18, 2025 at 9:38 PM
♍ Virgo
Hates all of them.
Equally.
Passionately.
Still knows every lyric.
Hates that part more.
Hates all of them.
Equally.
Passionately.
Still knows every lyric.
Hates that part more.
♌ Leo
Plays whichever song gets the strongest reaction.
Volume slightly too high.
Says it’s “for the vibe.”
Knows exactly what they’re doing.
Plays whichever song gets the strongest reaction.
Volume slightly too high.
Says it’s “for the vibe.”
Knows exactly what they’re doing.
December 18, 2025 at 9:37 PM
♌ Leo
Plays whichever song gets the strongest reaction.
Volume slightly too high.
Says it’s “for the vibe.”
Knows exactly what they’re doing.
Plays whichever song gets the strongest reaction.
Volume slightly too high.
Says it’s “for the vibe.”
Knows exactly what they’re doing.
♋ Cancer
Associates each song with a different memory.
None of them harmless.
Gets emotional over a playlist.
Pretends it’s about Christmas.
Associates each song with a different memory.
None of them harmless.
Gets emotional over a playlist.
Pretends it’s about Christmas.
December 18, 2025 at 9:37 PM
♋ Cancer
Associates each song with a different memory.
None of them harmless.
Gets emotional over a playlist.
Pretends it’s about Christmas.
Associates each song with a different memory.
None of them harmless.
Gets emotional over a playlist.
Pretends it’s about Christmas.
♊ Gemini
Claims to love them all.
Changes opinion mid-sentence.
Sends polls.
Starts debates.
Forgets the results.
Feeds on the chaos.
Claims to love them all.
Changes opinion mid-sentence.
Sends polls.
Starts debates.
Forgets the results.
Feeds on the chaos.
December 18, 2025 at 9:37 PM
♊ Gemini
Claims to love them all.
Changes opinion mid-sentence.
Sends polls.
Starts debates.
Forgets the results.
Feeds on the chaos.
Claims to love them all.
Changes opinion mid-sentence.
Sends polls.
Starts debates.
Forgets the results.
Feeds on the chaos.
♉ Taurus
Defends Mariah Carey with their life.
Calls it comforting.
Calls it tradition.
Refuses to engage in the debate.
Still judges silently.
Defends Mariah Carey with their life.
Calls it comforting.
Calls it tradition.
Refuses to engage in the debate.
Still judges silently.
December 18, 2025 at 9:36 PM
♉ Taurus
Defends Mariah Carey with their life.
Calls it comforting.
Calls it tradition.
Refuses to engage in the debate.
Still judges silently.
Defends Mariah Carey with their life.
Calls it comforting.
Calls it tradition.
Refuses to engage in the debate.
Still judges silently.
♈ Aries
Declares “Last Christmas” superior.
Loudly.
Aggressively.
Sings it like a challenge.
Gets annoyed when someone prefers Mariah.
Turns nostalgia into a contact sport.
Declares “Last Christmas” superior.
Loudly.
Aggressively.
Sings it like a challenge.
Gets annoyed when someone prefers Mariah.
Turns nostalgia into a contact sport.
December 18, 2025 at 9:36 PM
♈ Aries
Declares “Last Christmas” superior.
Loudly.
Aggressively.
Sings it like a challenge.
Gets annoyed when someone prefers Mariah.
Turns nostalgia into a contact sport.
Declares “Last Christmas” superior.
Loudly.
Aggressively.
Sings it like a challenge.
Gets annoyed when someone prefers Mariah.
Turns nostalgia into a contact sport.
What’s breaking isn’t creativity.
It’s patience for systems that confuse exposure with value.
Across the signs, the pattern is obvious:
people leaving quietly,
others clapping loudly,
most pretending it’s empowerment.
Not everyone is leaving.
But fewer believe the story.
This has been E.Two News.
It’s patience for systems that confuse exposure with value.
Across the signs, the pattern is obvious:
people leaving quietly,
others clapping loudly,
most pretending it’s empowerment.
Not everyone is leaving.
But fewer believe the story.
This has been E.Two News.
December 17, 2025 at 1:05 PM
What’s breaking isn’t creativity.
It’s patience for systems that confuse exposure with value.
Across the signs, the pattern is obvious:
people leaving quietly,
others clapping loudly,
most pretending it’s empowerment.
Not everyone is leaving.
But fewer believe the story.
This has been E.Two News.
It’s patience for systems that confuse exposure with value.
Across the signs, the pattern is obvious:
people leaving quietly,
others clapping loudly,
most pretending it’s empowerment.
Not everyone is leaving.
But fewer believe the story.
This has been E.Two News.
♓ Pisces
Feels the feed go quiet.
Not peaceful.
Just hollow.
Misses the small moments.
The weird posts.
The warmth.
Doesn’t know where everyone went.
Just knows something ended.
Feels the feed go quiet.
Not peaceful.
Just hollow.
Misses the small moments.
The weird posts.
The warmth.
Doesn’t know where everyone went.
Just knows something ended.
December 17, 2025 at 1:05 PM
♓ Pisces
Feels the feed go quiet.
Not peaceful.
Just hollow.
Misses the small moments.
The weird posts.
The warmth.
Doesn’t know where everyone went.
Just knows something ended.
Feels the feed go quiet.
Not peaceful.
Just hollow.
Misses the small moments.
The weird posts.
The warmth.
Doesn’t know where everyone went.
Just knows something ended.
♒ Aquarius
Less interested in who leaves
than in why so many announce it like bravery.
Notes the pattern.
Notes the applause.
Saves the theory.
This isn’t the room for it.
Less interested in who leaves
than in why so many announce it like bravery.
Notes the pattern.
Notes the applause.
Saves the theory.
This isn’t the room for it.
December 17, 2025 at 1:04 PM
♒ Aquarius
Less interested in who leaves
than in why so many announce it like bravery.
Notes the pattern.
Notes the applause.
Saves the theory.
This isn’t the room for it.
Less interested in who leaves
than in why so many announce it like bravery.
Notes the pattern.
Notes the applause.
Saves the theory.
This isn’t the room for it.
♑ Capricorn
Cuts one income stream.
Builds another.
No speech.
No post.
No drama.
If the platform mattered,
it would’ve paid by now.
Cuts one income stream.
Builds another.
No speech.
No post.
No drama.
If the platform mattered,
it would’ve paid by now.
December 17, 2025 at 1:04 PM
♑ Capricorn
Cuts one income stream.
Builds another.
No speech.
No post.
No drama.
If the platform mattered,
it would’ve paid by now.
Cuts one income stream.
Builds another.
No speech.
No post.
No drama.
If the platform mattered,
it would’ve paid by now.
♐ Sagittarius
Frames the move as freedom.
New spaces.
New energy.
New personality.
Mostly relieved
not to pretend this was fun anymore.
Frames the move as freedom.
New spaces.
New energy.
New personality.
Mostly relieved
not to pretend this was fun anymore.
December 17, 2025 at 1:04 PM
♐ Sagittarius
Frames the move as freedom.
New spaces.
New energy.
New personality.
Mostly relieved
not to pretend this was fun anymore.
Frames the move as freedom.
New spaces.
New energy.
New personality.
Mostly relieved
not to pretend this was fun anymore.
♏ Scorpio
Left months ago.
Didn’t announce it.
Watches everyone frame it as a revelation.
Doesn’t comment.
Quiet exits age better.
Always have.
Left months ago.
Didn’t announce it.
Watches everyone frame it as a revelation.
Doesn’t comment.
Quiet exits age better.
Always have.
December 17, 2025 at 1:04 PM
♏ Scorpio
Left months ago.
Didn’t announce it.
Watches everyone frame it as a revelation.
Doesn’t comment.
Quiet exits age better.
Always have.
Left months ago.
Didn’t announce it.
Watches everyone frame it as a revelation.
Doesn’t comment.
Quiet exits age better.
Always have.
♎ Libra
Drafts a thoughtful exit post.
Deletes it.
Drafts a “still here” post.
Deletes that too.
Calls the silence “alignment.”
Feels exposed anyway.
Drafts a thoughtful exit post.
Deletes it.
Drafts a “still here” post.
Deletes that too.
Calls the silence “alignment.”
Feels exposed anyway.
December 17, 2025 at 1:03 PM
♎ Libra
Drafts a thoughtful exit post.
Deletes it.
Drafts a “still here” post.
Deletes that too.
Calls the silence “alignment.”
Feels exposed anyway.
Drafts a thoughtful exit post.
Deletes it.
Drafts a “still here” post.
Deletes that too.
Calls the silence “alignment.”
Feels exposed anyway.
♍ Virgo
Opens the spreadsheet.
Closes it.
Opens it again angrily.
Reach looks fine.
Money doesn’t.
Starts saying “long-term”
like it’s a prayer.
Opens the spreadsheet.
Closes it.
Opens it again angrily.
Reach looks fine.
Money doesn’t.
Starts saying “long-term”
like it’s a prayer.
December 17, 2025 at 1:03 PM
♍ Virgo
Opens the spreadsheet.
Closes it.
Opens it again angrily.
Reach looks fine.
Money doesn’t.
Starts saying “long-term”
like it’s a prayer.
Opens the spreadsheet.
Closes it.
Opens it again angrily.
Reach looks fine.
Money doesn’t.
Starts saying “long-term”
like it’s a prayer.
♌ Leo
Posts something average.
It performs unusually well.
Says “thank you” too many times.
Pretends not to notice why.
Enjoys the spotlight.
Hates how empty the room feels.
Posts something average.
It performs unusually well.
Says “thank you” too many times.
Pretends not to notice why.
Enjoys the spotlight.
Hates how empty the room feels.
December 17, 2025 at 1:03 PM
♌ Leo
Posts something average.
It performs unusually well.
Says “thank you” too many times.
Pretends not to notice why.
Enjoys the spotlight.
Hates how empty the room feels.
Posts something average.
It performs unusually well.
Says “thank you” too many times.
Pretends not to notice why.
Enjoys the spotlight.
Hates how empty the room feels.
♋ Cancer
Notices a favorite artist vanished.
No goodbye post.
No explanation.
Checks other platforms like it’s a breakup.
Feels embarrassed for caring.
Misses the person.
Not the content.
Notices a favorite artist vanished.
No goodbye post.
No explanation.
Checks other platforms like it’s a breakup.
Feels embarrassed for caring.
Misses the person.
Not the content.
December 17, 2025 at 1:03 PM
♋ Cancer
Notices a favorite artist vanished.
No goodbye post.
No explanation.
Checks other platforms like it’s a breakup.
Feels embarrassed for caring.
Misses the person.
Not the content.
Notices a favorite artist vanished.
No goodbye post.
No explanation.
Checks other platforms like it’s a breakup.
Feels embarrassed for caring.
Misses the person.
Not the content.
♊ Gemini
Explains the situation in five threads.
Contradicts themselves in three.
Calls it “strategy.”
Calls it “experimentation.”
Calls it “temporary.”
Still hasn’t decided.
Loves that part.
Explains the situation in five threads.
Contradicts themselves in three.
Calls it “strategy.”
Calls it “experimentation.”
Calls it “temporary.”
Still hasn’t decided.
Loves that part.
December 17, 2025 at 1:02 PM
♊ Gemini
Explains the situation in five threads.
Contradicts themselves in three.
Calls it “strategy.”
Calls it “experimentation.”
Calls it “temporary.”
Still hasn’t decided.
Loves that part.
Explains the situation in five threads.
Contradicts themselves in three.
Calls it “strategy.”
Calls it “experimentation.”
Calls it “temporary.”
Still hasn’t decided.
Loves that part.