Jake Lauer
@hellocontrol.dev
He/him. Engineering Lead @ Bungie in Server Orchestration. Cubs fan. Creator of http://baseball.theater and http://bad.cards. 9w1.
For those who don't know:
This logo means *literally nothing* when you see it on new products. After declaring bankruptcy, Kodak started licensing their brand all over the place so, if anything, it means you're buying a low-quality product which is trying to pretend to be a high-quality one!
This logo means *literally nothing* when you see it on new products. After declaring bankruptcy, Kodak started licensing their brand all over the place so, if anything, it means you're buying a low-quality product which is trying to pretend to be a high-quality one!
August 18, 2025 at 6:34 PM
For those who don't know:
This logo means *literally nothing* when you see it on new products. After declaring bankruptcy, Kodak started licensing their brand all over the place so, if anything, it means you're buying a low-quality product which is trying to pretend to be a high-quality one!
This logo means *literally nothing* when you see it on new products. After declaring bankruptcy, Kodak started licensing their brand all over the place so, if anything, it means you're buying a low-quality product which is trying to pretend to be a high-quality one!
Since when do ice cream trucks play Greensleeves?
August 10, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Since when do ice cream trucks play Greensleeves?
An original by yours truly
August 9, 2025 at 1:10 AM
An original by yours truly
I have Pinterest solely for keeping track of recipes I want to try, and MY GOD it is the most user-hostile design ever.
Oh, look, that looks tasty. Let’s see the recipe. Where is it? I opened the pin but now I’m just looking at the same image. Maybe there’s a button to go to the site? Nope!
Oh, look, that looks tasty. Let’s see the recipe. Where is it? I opened the pin but now I’m just looking at the same image. Maybe there’s a button to go to the site? Nope!
August 6, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I have Pinterest solely for keeping track of recipes I want to try, and MY GOD it is the most user-hostile design ever.
Oh, look, that looks tasty. Let’s see the recipe. Where is it? I opened the pin but now I’m just looking at the same image. Maybe there’s a button to go to the site? Nope!
Oh, look, that looks tasty. Let’s see the recipe. Where is it? I opened the pin but now I’m just looking at the same image. Maybe there’s a button to go to the site? Nope!
Earth-conscious people: convince me to rinse my recyclables.
The city says to do it, but - I just have a hard time believing ketchup on glass turns it into garbage and that we don’t have the technology to mass-clean recycled glass. If the process is that fragile, how can anything truly be recycled?
The city says to do it, but - I just have a hard time believing ketchup on glass turns it into garbage and that we don’t have the technology to mass-clean recycled glass. If the process is that fragile, how can anything truly be recycled?
August 4, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Earth-conscious people: convince me to rinse my recyclables.
The city says to do it, but - I just have a hard time believing ketchup on glass turns it into garbage and that we don’t have the technology to mass-clean recycled glass. If the process is that fragile, how can anything truly be recycled?
The city says to do it, but - I just have a hard time believing ketchup on glass turns it into garbage and that we don’t have the technology to mass-clean recycled glass. If the process is that fragile, how can anything truly be recycled?
Newspapers should have a section where you complain about people you didn’t like after they die and those should be called Disbitchuaries
July 5, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Newspapers should have a section where you complain about people you didn’t like after they die and those should be called Disbitchuaries
I might need this in my office
June 17, 2025 at 6:58 PM
I might need this in my office
what a weird merger, right?
May 29, 2025 at 5:52 PM
what a weird merger, right?
Nobody tells you that, on the Child Care Timeline, the diaper phase is also the pooping-in-the-tub phase.
April 30, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Nobody tells you that, on the Child Care Timeline, the diaper phase is also the pooping-in-the-tub phase.
What’s special about Batman is that he has the eyes of a man, but the EARS of a man too
March 23, 2025 at 7:54 PM
What’s special about Batman is that he has the eyes of a man, but the EARS of a man too
I nominate Daniel Brühl to play the lead.
March 10, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I nominate Daniel Brühl to play the lead.
I need a movie or a modern TV series about Beethoven. I can't believe we haven't seen an Amadeus-level film about the man; his life already follows a perfect story arc. I need to see the moment his 9th symphony ends, when he's still conducting and deaf, and then turns to receive an ovation.
March 10, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I need a movie or a modern TV series about Beethoven. I can't believe we haven't seen an Amadeus-level film about the man; his life already follows a perfect story arc. I need to see the moment his 9th symphony ends, when he's still conducting and deaf, and then turns to receive an ovation.
just wrote a sentence which includes "vice versâ vis-à-vis" in it
February 20, 2025 at 8:58 PM
just wrote a sentence which includes "vice versâ vis-à-vis" in it
We've had the Gulf of America for a while - but it wasn't a stretch of water between two countries, it was a dearth of social policies (healthcare access, worker protections, public services, etc.) between one country and all of the others.
So I guess there are just two of them now.
So I guess there are just two of them now.
February 11, 2025 at 6:39 PM
We've had the Gulf of America for a while - but it wasn't a stretch of water between two countries, it was a dearth of social policies (healthcare access, worker protections, public services, etc.) between one country and all of the others.
So I guess there are just two of them now.
So I guess there are just two of them now.
If I ever get a chance to build a house, I'm putting power outlets every 20 feet, inside and outside. The lengths I have to go to to get power to ANYWHERE are just ridiculous.
February 11, 2025 at 6:34 PM
If I ever get a chance to build a house, I'm putting power outlets every 20 feet, inside and outside. The lengths I have to go to to get power to ANYWHERE are just ridiculous.
thinking of opening an etsy shop
January 31, 2025 at 3:09 AM
thinking of opening an etsy shop
Vampire Weekend x Modest Mouse = Rusted Root
January 20, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Vampire Weekend x Modest Mouse = Rusted Root
Idk who needs to know this but you can recycle half gallon cartons like this
January 20, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Idk who needs to know this but you can recycle half gallon cartons like this
We could’ve had an Idris Elba 007 and missed the chance. What a shame.
January 18, 2025 at 5:59 PM
We could’ve had an Idris Elba 007 and missed the chance. What a shame.
Boy, this is great advice! Or at least it would be, if it wasn’t complete horseshit.
Sure, adding an extra payment avoids some interest, but not 13 years of interest!
🧵⤵️
Sure, adding an extra payment avoids some interest, but not 13 years of interest!
🧵⤵️
January 12, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Boy, this is great advice! Or at least it would be, if it wasn’t complete horseshit.
Sure, adding an extra payment avoids some interest, but not 13 years of interest!
🧵⤵️
Sure, adding an extra payment avoids some interest, but not 13 years of interest!
🧵⤵️
In King County you can either buy one 12-pack of Coke for $11 or 7 of them for $15
January 3, 2025 at 2:49 AM
In King County you can either buy one 12-pack of Coke for $11 or 7 of them for $15
my new guest wifi portal
December 23, 2024 at 9:14 AM
my new guest wifi portal
These lights we found are so cool! Tiny little snow globes!
December 19, 2024 at 5:02 AM
These lights we found are so cool! Tiny little snow globes!