This year feels like it finally broke me.
I isolate myself because I feel like a burden, like everyone would be better off if I disappeared.
All I wish for this New Year is mercy. I hope your year was kinder than mine, and that the next one brings more light for all of us 🥹

I’ve seen several psychiatrists. Zoloft only made me worse - shaking, GI issues, emotional swings.
Another doctor dismissed my words, said I “look too well to be depressed,” and prescribed a sedative instead.
Even doctors don’t seem to take my state seriously.
Now I can’t even pretend I’m okay.

I'm not even sure if I'll celebrate Christmas and decorate the house, put up a Christmas tree... I hope that at least I'll be able to pay off my overdue loans by the end of the month. This year has been such a nightmare.

I am severely exhausted, the medication is only making things worse for now, and it's hard for me to even get out of bed. But I have to endure it, and I hope that I will get better.

The last two weeks have been difficult, and I had to admit that I can't cope. So I went to a psychiatrist. The doctor wasn't the most tactful. But through tears and humiliation, I got a prescription. And I started taking pills.

I try to focus on the good things in my life, but it’s hard. I need to pull myself together and work more to cover loan payments and support our life while my husband recovers… Right now it feels overwhelming, and I’m not sure I can manage it. It’s so hard. I just hope I get better soon T.T

Everyone in my family died suddenly, and my mother suffered for a long time in the hospital - that memory still stays with me. Since then, hospitals and ambulances trigger strong anxiety for me. I thought these past two years had healed it a bit, but now it’s all come back along with the nightmares.

Because of PTSD after losing my mother (and before that, my father), I panic deeply whenever my husband has health problems. He’s the only one I have, and I’m very afraid of losing him…

I am very worried that I will not be able to support us both... After all, our loan payments are quite large, sigh. This is all so untimely... And it hurts me so much to see him suffering T.T

Tomorrow we will go to a neurologist to find out what to do next, but the treatment will take up to six months, during which time he will not be able to work.

I am so tired, but I am slowly drawing commissions in the evenings. I hope everything will work out soon...

Now we are trying to see a therapist to get a referral for an X-ray - if we have to pay for it, it will be very expensive, so we will go to a regular hospital... I hope the doctor won't refuse, otherwise I will make such a fuss!

Fortunately, it's not thrombosis, but now the neurologist is throwing up her hands and sending us for an X-ray. She said it's a very unique case of nerve entrapment... It shouldn't hurt this much!