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helensviletooth.bsky.social
@helensviletooth.bsky.social
52 followers 440 following 290 posts
when in doubt, give
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helensviletooth.bsky.social
this is a screenshot of what i'm reasonably sure is a genuine email from united airlines. it gives me such bad vibes that if i received it on my work address, i would report it as a phishing attempt and wait for IT to email "good job, you caught the fake phishing attempt!!"
Screenshot of text: "[tab indentation] Thank you for reaching out to United Airlines. Your account has been locked due to fraud detection measures in place. [begin bold italic text] To authenticate your identity, please respond with a selfie holding your government issued (passport preferred). [end bold italic text] Once we receive the requested documentation, we will be able to reopen your account. United Airlines CDR-CyberFraudOps@united.com united.com /wm"
September 18, 2025 at 8:54 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
POV: you're eating a saltine
short-haired, shiny black dog with brown eyes, squarely facing and very close to the camera. her eyes are wide open, eyebrows raised so you can see how cute she is. her ears are back. she needs help. from you. she needs the saltine. it is breaking her heart that you're not giving her the saltine. her name is helen.
September 4, 2025 at 5:56 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
a cigarette butt holder and two folding chairs leaned against a brick wall. there is ivy growing all over the wall.
June 12, 2025 at 3:01 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
here is a contemporaneous illustration of the founders peacefully protesting the stamp act. the excise-man disagrees with their positions, but respects their opinion. he has worn a funny costume and drinks tea. someone accidentally got some string stuck in the tree.
labeled "The BOSTONIAN'S Paying the EXCISE-MAN, or TARRING & FEATHERING." 1774 illustration of four colonists roughly holding a man's head back and pouring tea into his mouth. he has been tarred and feathered. there is a noose hanging from the tree, which is labeled "liberty tree" and has a piece of paper labeled "STAMP ACT" hung upside down on it. in the background, there are people pouring boxes (presumably of tea, but in the illustration it looks quite fluid) over the side of a ship.
June 11, 2025 at 4:20 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
look at her. she would do it again.
photo of a couple and their black/brown dachsund valerie. the couple looks very happy. valerie has a mischievous grin.
May 12, 2025 at 5:54 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
Black and white, relatively dim picture of some park benches and trees
April 20, 2025 at 1:30 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
nice day to be out pulling worm
robin holding a dangling worm robin snatching a partial worm in its beak, one wing slightly out robin, facing directly at the camera, beak open as it makes a robin sound robin leaning forward, beak open, to catch a worm that is flying through the air
April 5, 2025 at 9:34 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
a ghostly surveillance image of a wiener dog with the text "A surveillance image of Valerie. She was identified, in part, by her pink collar."
March 30, 2025 at 2:27 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
i googled 'instant mytol vs. pc-tea' and google AI gave me this wonderfully helpful summary.

(instant mytol and pc-tea are film developers)
AI generated text claiming that '"Instant Mytol" likely refers to a brand of liquid water enhancer, while "PC-TEA" likely refers to a brand of tea, possibly a flavored tea.' It goes on to list the available flavors, and approximate pricing.
March 30, 2025 at 12:13 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
spotted on facebook marketplace
approximately seventy geese and ducks lined up in neat rows in a driveway. a closer look shows that some of them are headless, and that they are perhaps not composed of flesh blood feather and bone.
March 6, 2025 at 2:50 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
take two on these trees
a scan of an image of a forest of many relatively thin trees
January 1, 2025 at 4:53 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
another van dyke brown from tonight. these are... trees. toned in selenium.
a scan of an image of a forest of many relatively thin trees
December 31, 2024 at 5:49 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
tried van dyke brown again. here's helen, after whose vile tooth this account is named.
a scan of an image of a dog hitting a toy/food dispenser with her paw, staring intently at it with her mouth slightly open, strings of saliva visible inside her mouth
December 31, 2024 at 5:48 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
baby's first van dyke brown.
brown-tinted print of an image of a landscape with trees and clouds
December 15, 2024 at 5:53 AM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
christ almighty i have mentioned that it's pasteurized more than once in these very replies. i'm done, enjoy your navel
screenshot of my post with text 'feel free to offer more recent reviews of outbreaks if they show an improved safety record. i don't think it includes home made cheeses. are you imagining that the queso fresco mentioned is home made? it's a commercial, pasteurized product.' screenshot of my post with text '"with proper testing, they dont get through" this is simply not true!! this is magical thinking on your part that quote from the paper is true; fresh cheese is a relatively high risk food (even pasteurized), and is essentially only consumed as a pasteurized product in the US.'
December 13, 2024 at 7:43 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
"its actually you guys who are reluctant to even consider data and results that oppose your view"

the data in question:
Screenshot of Table 1 from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5443421/. Important summary line: pasteurized dairy products resulted in 11 outbreaks, 102 illnesses, and 87 hospitalizations, while unpasteurized dairy products resulted in 76 outbreaks, 648 illnesses, and 128 hospitalizations.
December 13, 2024 at 5:30 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
sorry i just have to fill out my special very serious form
hand-drawn form that says "official medical form" at the top with a box that says "how many times per day" and partially obscured boxes that say "is the patient lying" and "is it really bad"
December 11, 2024 at 5:43 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
cyanotype on hahnemuehle sumi-e paper. got a little bouba/kiki thing going on
cyanotype of a photograph of teasel
December 8, 2024 at 10:13 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
it literally says on the bottle
Screenshot of New York Times headline that says "How Much Advil Is Too Much?"
December 5, 2024 at 8:56 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
donnie darko imaginary friend meme. Text is "I made new alt-process prints," "Real or test prints," "test prints"
November 28, 2024 at 5:03 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
jerry, please draft a short message that tactfully says "honestly we have no fuckin clue where your package is"
Screenshot that says: "Moving Through Network. In Transit to Next Facility, Arriving Late."
November 18, 2024 at 10:29 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
Simpsons meme: "Am I out of touch? No, it's the [Jensen's inequality] who are wrong."
November 13, 2024 at 10:20 PM
helensviletooth.bsky.social
taking a swig of refreshing, chilly solvent from my bedside erlenmeyer before dozing off to sleep under my ll bean ultrasoft comfort flannel sheets
product photo for ll bean sheets showing a comfy looking bed in a rustic room with a ball jar and erlenmeyer flask next to the bed.
November 9, 2024 at 2:46 PM