Bad news for my husband this evening as my five year old niece declared she needs me to immediately move myself and our daughter into their street... Without Smelly Uncle James. You see, Rosie has an excellent ace up her sleeve: the terminal cancer card.

Bye James. It's been a great 13 years mate

Happy 2nd International Kick Your Brother In The Penis Day (And Your Cousin) to those who celebrate.

I'm in the FREAKING BOOKSELLER people!!!!! It's REAL!!!!!!!!!!!

Pooperella...

... And her picture of a poop demon

I don't know if my keyboard can produce an em-dash in place of a hyphen as a dash. I'd have to Google it and find out. It would probably involve holding down different keys.

But both my phone and my laptop allow me to use a hyphen with just one flick of a finger, so that's what I use.

See? Lazy.

A flurry of panicked and borderline nonsensical replies later, the account is gone. I'd already had their multiple cloned fundraisers deplatformed, and I had confirmed it was the same person running the fake platform account. They knew I knew.

I read once that internet scammers are often weirdly religious. Today I successfully weaponised that knowledge, when one of them cloned my niece's fundraiser.

My friend's mum got this amazing advice about percentages from Gemini this weekend.

We're selling our house and clearing all our stuff away so the guy can take photos is making me realise how weird we are

In packing my art and mementoes ready to move into a new home, I am reminded of the importance of remembering the past: if we do not, not only are we doomed to repeat it but we will struggle to find a better future.

My better future involves not living in Lincolnshire ever again.