hayden johnson
@haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
running tits first into a wall as fast as i can
it’s a real problem that the only people using gender neutral restrooms are transgender or about to take the craziest shit of their entire life
November 9, 2025 at 9:56 PM
it’s a real problem that the only people using gender neutral restrooms are transgender or about to take the craziest shit of their entire life
i love when a guy is like “socialism sounds nice but the math doesn’t add up”
it’s like brother you use chatgpt to make your grocery list you don’t even do kid math
it’s like brother you use chatgpt to make your grocery list you don’t even do kid math
November 6, 2025 at 10:41 PM
i love when a guy is like “socialism sounds nice but the math doesn’t add up”
it’s like brother you use chatgpt to make your grocery list you don’t even do kid math
it’s like brother you use chatgpt to make your grocery list you don’t even do kid math
you know they’ve got nancy pelosi up late right now trying to teach her tiktok dances
November 5, 2025 at 4:52 AM
you know they’ve got nancy pelosi up late right now trying to teach her tiktok dances
Shocked to hear about Dick Cheney’s passing, my condolences to his wife Pussy
November 4, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Shocked to hear about Dick Cheney’s passing, my condolences to his wife Pussy
i might be dressing to slutty because i was just walked by a hotel and this security guard said “don’t even think about coming in here”
i was walking to taco bell
i was walking to taco bell
October 27, 2025 at 5:19 AM
i might be dressing to slutty because i was just walked by a hotel and this security guard said “don’t even think about coming in here”
i was walking to taco bell
i was walking to taco bell
dog jesus:
i turned this wine into water from the sink
i turned this wine into water from the sink
October 26, 2025 at 7:29 PM
dog jesus:
i turned this wine into water from the sink
i turned this wine into water from the sink
these AI companion ads are really freaking me out
“your AI friend won’t interrupt you to use the bathroom”
“your AI friend won’t come over and eat all your snacks”
now i’m at my friend’s house hungry as hell covered in piss telling them they’re right about everything
“your AI friend won’t interrupt you to use the bathroom”
“your AI friend won’t come over and eat all your snacks”
now i’m at my friend’s house hungry as hell covered in piss telling them they’re right about everything
October 21, 2025 at 6:49 PM
these AI companion ads are really freaking me out
“your AI friend won’t interrupt you to use the bathroom”
“your AI friend won’t come over and eat all your snacks”
now i’m at my friend’s house hungry as hell covered in piss telling them they’re right about everything
“your AI friend won’t interrupt you to use the bathroom”
“your AI friend won’t come over and eat all your snacks”
now i’m at my friend’s house hungry as hell covered in piss telling them they’re right about everything
i think all protesting has its purpose but maybe next time the signs can be a bit more “abolish ice” or “free palestine”
instead of “trump is a big ugly gay guy who has a small fucking penis and loves drinking big buckets of cum! he might be hitler but even worse he is gay.”
instead of “trump is a big ugly gay guy who has a small fucking penis and loves drinking big buckets of cum! he might be hitler but even worse he is gay.”
October 19, 2025 at 5:04 PM
i think all protesting has its purpose but maybe next time the signs can be a bit more “abolish ice” or “free palestine”
instead of “trump is a big ugly gay guy who has a small fucking penis and loves drinking big buckets of cum! he might be hitler but even worse he is gay.”
instead of “trump is a big ugly gay guy who has a small fucking penis and loves drinking big buckets of cum! he might be hitler but even worse he is gay.”
cuomo going on logan paul’s podcast in an effort to win the “young people with no friends” vote
October 18, 2025 at 9:08 PM
cuomo going on logan paul’s podcast in an effort to win the “young people with no friends” vote
i love halloween because every year it gives closeted trans people the chance to experiment
closeted trans women go as female characters
closeted trans men go as male characters
and closeted non-binary people go as like the big spooky pumpkin person or whatever
closeted trans women go as female characters
closeted trans men go as male characters
and closeted non-binary people go as like the big spooky pumpkin person or whatever
October 17, 2025 at 6:19 PM
i love halloween because every year it gives closeted trans people the chance to experiment
closeted trans women go as female characters
closeted trans men go as male characters
and closeted non-binary people go as like the big spooky pumpkin person or whatever
closeted trans women go as female characters
closeted trans men go as male characters
and closeted non-binary people go as like the big spooky pumpkin person or whatever
AI is doing 24/7 surveillance, compiling watchlists, and causing kids irreversible emotional damage
AI is basically Santa if instead of milk and cookies he ate 4 billion gallons of water
AI is basically Santa if instead of milk and cookies he ate 4 billion gallons of water
October 17, 2025 at 5:33 AM
AI is doing 24/7 surveillance, compiling watchlists, and causing kids irreversible emotional damage
AI is basically Santa if instead of milk and cookies he ate 4 billion gallons of water
AI is basically Santa if instead of milk and cookies he ate 4 billion gallons of water
everytime zohran pops up he’s like
“we’re hosting a neighborhood soccer tournament to get new york’s communities engaged!”
and everytime cuomo pops up he’s like
“all italians are christopher columbus! mamdani’s disrespect for columbus is insulting! if mamdani wins, pasta will leave the city!”
“we’re hosting a neighborhood soccer tournament to get new york’s communities engaged!”
and everytime cuomo pops up he’s like
“all italians are christopher columbus! mamdani’s disrespect for columbus is insulting! if mamdani wins, pasta will leave the city!”
October 15, 2025 at 9:17 PM
everytime zohran pops up he’s like
“we’re hosting a neighborhood soccer tournament to get new york’s communities engaged!”
and everytime cuomo pops up he’s like
“all italians are christopher columbus! mamdani’s disrespect for columbus is insulting! if mamdani wins, pasta will leave the city!”
“we’re hosting a neighborhood soccer tournament to get new york’s communities engaged!”
and everytime cuomo pops up he’s like
“all italians are christopher columbus! mamdani’s disrespect for columbus is insulting! if mamdani wins, pasta will leave the city!”
they want to convince you that trans people live completely different lives than you, but that’s just not true!
we know this because by the time dylan got to like day 50 of girlhood she was like “okay so today we’re eating snacks”
we know this because by the time dylan got to like day 50 of girlhood she was like “okay so today we’re eating snacks”
October 11, 2025 at 8:31 PM
they want to convince you that trans people live completely different lives than you, but that’s just not true!
we know this because by the time dylan got to like day 50 of girlhood she was like “okay so today we’re eating snacks”
we know this because by the time dylan got to like day 50 of girlhood she was like “okay so today we’re eating snacks”
happy national coming out day to the first 8 guys i slept with, maybe this is the year!!!
October 11, 2025 at 5:14 PM
happy national coming out day to the first 8 guys i slept with, maybe this is the year!!!
who do conservatives want to play the halftime show??? i’m sure if i asked my uncle he’d be like
ohhh it’s gotta be Bobby “The Sticks” Applebees
and then it’s like a guy whose whole discography is about cheating on his wife and also he’s been dead for thirty years
ohhh it’s gotta be Bobby “The Sticks” Applebees
and then it’s like a guy whose whole discography is about cheating on his wife and also he’s been dead for thirty years
October 9, 2025 at 6:12 PM
who do conservatives want to play the halftime show??? i’m sure if i asked my uncle he’d be like
ohhh it’s gotta be Bobby “The Sticks” Applebees
and then it’s like a guy whose whole discography is about cheating on his wife and also he’s been dead for thirty years
ohhh it’s gotta be Bobby “The Sticks” Applebees
and then it’s like a guy whose whole discography is about cheating on his wife and also he’s been dead for thirty years
they should invent a feature where you can search for people by pronoun
October 7, 2025 at 9:10 PM
they should invent a feature where you can search for people by pronoun
I am OUTRAGED that Netflix has a kids show with a “nonbinary” cow.
Back in my day, we had normal looking cows (boys) and cows with a tiny waist, a big long ponytail, lipstick, blush, eyelashes, a big bow in its hair and two hoop earrings (girls).
Why do they keep forcing this gender stuff on us?
Back in my day, we had normal looking cows (boys) and cows with a tiny waist, a big long ponytail, lipstick, blush, eyelashes, a big bow in its hair and two hoop earrings (girls).
Why do they keep forcing this gender stuff on us?
October 5, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I am OUTRAGED that Netflix has a kids show with a “nonbinary” cow.
Back in my day, we had normal looking cows (boys) and cows with a tiny waist, a big long ponytail, lipstick, blush, eyelashes, a big bow in its hair and two hoop earrings (girls).
Why do they keep forcing this gender stuff on us?
Back in my day, we had normal looking cows (boys) and cows with a tiny waist, a big long ponytail, lipstick, blush, eyelashes, a big bow in its hair and two hoop earrings (girls).
Why do they keep forcing this gender stuff on us?
my photos app thinks my three best friends are my ex, joe biden, and a girl i haven’t spoken to since 2016
October 4, 2025 at 9:04 PM
my photos app thinks my three best friends are my ex, joe biden, and a girl i haven’t spoken to since 2016
wow i can’t think of anything worse than being taylor swift right now
October 3, 2025 at 6:57 PM
wow i can’t think of anything worse than being taylor swift right now
i actually love the idea of an AI actress because i hate when women are also people
September 28, 2025 at 4:15 PM
i actually love the idea of an AI actress because i hate when women are also people
(presidential debate 2027)
JD VANCE: poor people are poor because they don’t work hard.
GAVIN NEWSOME: i will personally imprison every homeless person.
THE ROCK: maaaan kevin hart is short as hell!
JD VANCE: poor people are poor because they don’t work hard.
GAVIN NEWSOME: i will personally imprison every homeless person.
THE ROCK: maaaan kevin hart is short as hell!
September 27, 2025 at 8:32 PM
(presidential debate 2027)
JD VANCE: poor people are poor because they don’t work hard.
GAVIN NEWSOME: i will personally imprison every homeless person.
THE ROCK: maaaan kevin hart is short as hell!
JD VANCE: poor people are poor because they don’t work hard.
GAVIN NEWSOME: i will personally imprison every homeless person.
THE ROCK: maaaan kevin hart is short as hell!
every AI ad is like
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
September 25, 2025 at 4:59 PM
every AI ad is like
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
In Texas, the fine for a DUI is $2,000
The fine for trans people using the “wrong” bathroom is $125,000
This is because trans women piss so much and so hard that if they don’t use a boy toilet, the pipes explode, which makes peepee poopoo flood the streets and causes hundreds of car accidents.
The fine for trans people using the “wrong” bathroom is $125,000
This is because trans women piss so much and so hard that if they don’t use a boy toilet, the pipes explode, which makes peepee poopoo flood the streets and causes hundreds of car accidents.
September 24, 2025 at 7:05 PM
In Texas, the fine for a DUI is $2,000
The fine for trans people using the “wrong” bathroom is $125,000
This is because trans women piss so much and so hard that if they don’t use a boy toilet, the pipes explode, which makes peepee poopoo flood the streets and causes hundreds of car accidents.
The fine for trans people using the “wrong” bathroom is $125,000
This is because trans women piss so much and so hard that if they don’t use a boy toilet, the pipes explode, which makes peepee poopoo flood the streets and causes hundreds of car accidents.
most trans people aren’t dangerous and the ones that are dangerous are too busy railing me to do anything bad
September 19, 2025 at 4:51 PM
most trans people aren’t dangerous and the ones that are dangerous are too busy railing me to do anything bad
so every conservative can say the shooter was a 10 foot tall tr*nny who eats babies and killed george washington but jimmy kimmel can’t say that maybe it was just some guy???
September 18, 2025 at 8:07 PM
so every conservative can say the shooter was a 10 foot tall tr*nny who eats babies and killed george washington but jimmy kimmel can’t say that maybe it was just some guy???