𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐍.
@harpoons.bsky.social
YOU BROUGHT SUCH A DARKNESS TO MY HOME.
Pinned
miss my wife like a motherfucker
March 16, 2025 at 12:54 AM
miss my wife like a motherfucker
somethin’s in the air.
March 16, 2025 at 12:07 AM
somethin’s in the air.
he’s hardly paid them any mind. they’ve been gathering all day. he figures there’s something shiny in his shack somewhere that caught their eye.
all day long, crows have been gathering outside his window, cawing in parliament.
polishing his shotgun. yawn.
March 16, 2025 at 12:06 AM
he’s hardly paid them any mind. they’ve been gathering all day. he figures there’s something shiny in his shack somewhere that caught their eye.
polishing his shotgun. yawn.
March 15, 2025 at 11:23 PM
polishing his shotgun. yawn.
. . . i could uh, come down, i guess. i’d appreciate it.
Why don't I send someone up this way, then, either to bring you down to ours or to check you over at home?
oh.
maybe, then. i dunno. haven’t seen a doctor.
maybe, then. i dunno. haven’t seen a doctor.
January 28, 2025 at 4:29 AM
. . . i could uh, come down, i guess. i’d appreciate it.
effectively has not left his cabin in weeks — he looks like shit, and feels worse.
January 28, 2025 at 4:05 AM
effectively has not left his cabin in weeks — he looks like shit, and feels worse.
oh.
maybe, then. i dunno. haven’t seen a doctor.
maybe, then. i dunno. haven’t seen a doctor.
Maybe I was asking if it was terminal.
lungs, unfortunately.
January 28, 2025 at 4:01 AM
oh.
maybe, then. i dunno. haven’t seen a doctor.
maybe, then. i dunno. haven’t seen a doctor.
lungs, unfortunately.
Terminal?
hacking.
January 28, 2025 at 3:59 AM
lungs, unfortunately.
he is quite literally going to retreat to his shack and cry to his dog after this.
November 28, 2024 at 7:36 AM
he is quite literally going to retreat to his shack and cry to his dog after this.
yer very funny, mister.
You look like someone hittin' the jet a tick too hard.
Pity, they're missin' your... delightful company.
Pity, they're missin' your... delightful company.
do i look like someone with an alive wife?
but i guess? i hardly go down there, why would i know? don’t even think i count as part of that settlement.
but i guess? i hardly go down there, why would i know? don’t even think i count as part of that settlement.
November 28, 2024 at 7:36 AM
yer very funny, mister.
do i look like someone with an alive wife?
but i guess? i hardly go down there, why would i know? don’t even think i count as part of that settlement.
but i guess? i hardly go down there, why would i know? don’t even think i count as part of that settlement.
How the fuck'm I supposed to know that? Jesus wept. They let any damn lunatic in here, or just you?
. . . that’s my fuckin’ dog, dipshit. her name’s pockets. she’s a good dog. you’d be surprised, though. those folks are messy.
you just ( look like it, * ) fuck if i know.
you just ( look like it, * ) fuck if i know.
November 28, 2024 at 7:33 AM
do i look like someone with an alive wife?
but i guess? i hardly go down there, why would i know? don’t even think i count as part of that settlement.
but i guess? i hardly go down there, why would i know? don’t even think i count as part of that settlement.
. . . that’s my fuckin’ dog, dipshit. her name’s pockets. she’s a good dog. you’d be surprised, though. those folks are messy.
you just ( look like it, * ) fuck if i know.
you just ( look like it, * ) fuck if i know.
Well, whatever you and your wife're up to's got nothin' t'do with my business. Ain't gonna make money just sittin' on my ass like y'all've done.
What're you gettin' at?
What're you gettin' at?
figures.
yeah, that’s what i said too, few months ago. now i’ve got this shack. the little lady liked it here, so i stayed.
you look like a bounty hunter.
yeah, that’s what i said too, few months ago. now i’ve got this shack. the little lady liked it here, so i stayed.
you look like a bounty hunter.
November 28, 2024 at 7:29 AM
. . . that’s my fuckin’ dog, dipshit. her name’s pockets. she’s a good dog. you’d be surprised, though. those folks are messy.
you just ( look like it, * ) fuck if i know.
you just ( look like it, * ) fuck if i know.
figures.
yeah, that’s what i said too, few months ago. now i’ve got this shack. the little lady liked it here, so i stayed.
you look like a bounty hunter.
yeah, that’s what i said too, few months ago. now i’ve got this shack. the little lady liked it here, so i stayed.
you look like a bounty hunter.
Faulkner. Never been Mister Anythin' in my life.
'Them folk,' anyway, I'm just passin' through. Bounty hunter, like you rightfully said.
'Them folk,' anyway, I'm just passin' through. Bounty hunter, like you rightfully said.
oh. yer one of those bounty hunter types, huh?
i stay in the mountains for a reason. i don’t intend on botherin’ most of you folks. dunno how i’m lookin’ at ya, mister.
i stay in the mountains for a reason. i don’t intend on botherin’ most of you folks. dunno how i’m lookin’ at ya, mister.
November 28, 2024 at 7:26 AM
figures.
yeah, that’s what i said too, few months ago. now i’ve got this shack. the little lady liked it here, so i stayed.
you look like a bounty hunter.
yeah, that’s what i said too, few months ago. now i’ve got this shack. the little lady liked it here, so i stayed.
you look like a bounty hunter.
oh. yer one of those bounty hunter types, huh?
i stay in the mountains for a reason. i don’t intend on botherin’ most of you folks. dunno how i’m lookin’ at ya, mister.
i stay in the mountains for a reason. i don’t intend on botherin’ most of you folks. dunno how i’m lookin’ at ya, mister.
...Hell, just don't give these folk a reason t'hire my services and you'll be fine. Don't lookit me like that, cmon...
[ he’s kind of just staring. blank. for a moment, his eyes give the illusion of vague disappointment. ]
November 28, 2024 at 7:23 AM
oh. yer one of those bounty hunter types, huh?
i stay in the mountains for a reason. i don’t intend on botherin’ most of you folks. dunno how i’m lookin’ at ya, mister.
i stay in the mountains for a reason. i don’t intend on botherin’ most of you folks. dunno how i’m lookin’ at ya, mister.
[ he’s kind of just staring. blank. for a moment, his eyes give the illusion of vague disappointment. ]
(Well, that's knocked a good long laugh out of him. Christ.)
. . . you got an issue with my hobbies?
November 28, 2024 at 7:21 AM
[ he’s kind of just staring. blank. for a moment, his eyes give the illusion of vague disappointment. ]
. . . you got an issue with my hobbies?
Think you're a mite confused, partner, see'n as you just threatened t'shoot someone yerself...
y’don’t like my company?
November 28, 2024 at 7:17 AM
. . . you got an issue with my hobbies?
y’don’t like my company?
Ain't you got some shitshack up the mountain to haunt?
oh, y’know.
November 28, 2024 at 7:15 AM
y’don’t like my company?
oh, y’know.
'Aw'? The hell is that 'aw' for??
aw, you want peace ‘n quiet?
November 28, 2024 at 7:14 AM
oh, y’know.
aw, you want peace ‘n quiet?
Hard fer a man to get some peace'n'quiet 'til y'do, yeah.
well, my ma’s been dead for a while. y’want me to put the gun down, then?
November 28, 2024 at 7:09 AM
aw, you want peace ‘n quiet?
well, my ma’s been dead for a while. y’want me to put the gun down, then?
Old 'nuff not t'just hand shit over to any asshole wavin' a gun around. Ain't your mama taught you stranger danger yet?
. . . now how old are you?
November 28, 2024 at 6:58 AM
well, my ma’s been dead for a while. y’want me to put the gun down, then?
. . . now how old are you?
Good, someone else gets a turn for once.
don’t call me that. makes me feel old.
November 28, 2024 at 6:44 AM
. . . now how old are you?
don’t call me that. makes me feel old.
Huh.
...Sure y'were, boss.
...Sure y'were, boss.
damn. was lookin’ for an excuse.
November 28, 2024 at 6:14 AM
don’t call me that. makes me feel old.
damn. was lookin’ for an excuse.
Nah, but at least someone's goddamn willing.
. . . y’want me to shoot?
November 28, 2024 at 6:08 AM
damn. was lookin’ for an excuse.
. . . y’want me to shoot?
Finally.
you folks are too close to my property. i have a gun.
November 28, 2024 at 6:04 AM
. . . y’want me to shoot?