got locked out of my office due to a tear in reality, finally back

i keep hearing squeaking coming from a vent, one of the moths might be stuck in the vents again, can someone go check and possibly get them out if they are

shadows are manifesting in the janitor's closest again

My desk is covered in cans

a prototype joyeuse model has developed sentience in sector 12 and is murdering every employee in sight, we are powerless to stop it, in other news, floob has disappeared into the seas again and has not been seen since

a crystal has fallen from the sky and crushed around 4 employess, this is the 5th time this week, for some reason the sky crystals always crush exactly 4 people, wacky

in terms of good news, we found researcher floob, his ship went missing chasing after some random signal, he seems alright now

employee earl has fallen into the cafeteria's comically large pickle jar, can someone come fish him out of there