The way a customer just asked me if someone forgot to pay our heating bill 💀

After choreographing Urinetown I’m happy to report only one song made it on my Spotify wrapped

A customer today told me that “girl math is if I need it now, it’s free” and I’ve never felt so connected to humanity

finding out cheryl hines is married to rfk jr ruined my thanksgiving

The way @jamesfigtree.bsky.social keeps confusing Kristen Bell in Bad Moms Christmas for Kristin Chenoweth idk if we can be friends anymore

Just realized why it’s called pr*ject 2025 I’ve been out here thinking they chose a random set of numbers

First day at new job… if these people don’t think I’m funny I WILL cry

How funny of a bit would it be if I moved to a random city to follow a high school crush