Hank Neloms
@hankneloms.bsky.social
Happily married father of two living just outside of Washington D.C. Insane Bengal fan… but some just say I’m insane.
True story. When I was 12 a possum got into my grandfather’s backyard.
Grandady Hill bashed his head in with a brick. The next day we ate it with creamed corn that he seasoned with pepper.
This meal was unbelievably nasty.
Grandady Hill bashed his head in with a brick. The next day we ate it with creamed corn that he seasoned with pepper.
This meal was unbelievably nasty.
November 7, 2025 at 6:24 AM
True story. When I was 12 a possum got into my grandfather’s backyard.
Grandady Hill bashed his head in with a brick. The next day we ate it with creamed corn that he seasoned with pepper.
This meal was unbelievably nasty.
Grandady Hill bashed his head in with a brick. The next day we ate it with creamed corn that he seasoned with pepper.
This meal was unbelievably nasty.
I’ll never be able to get the image of an ICE officer zip tying a toddler’s hands behind his back. This child can barely control his motor functions.
The cruelty is astonishing.
The cruelty is astonishing.
October 7, 2025 at 12:48 PM
I’ll never be able to get the image of an ICE officer zip tying a toddler’s hands behind his back. This child can barely control his motor functions.
The cruelty is astonishing.
The cruelty is astonishing.
A crack head never wakes up and says, “I don’t have any money so I guess I won’t be smoking any crack today.”
He’s making 💩happen until he gets cash. Don’t let your circumstances derail you from your dreams.
He’s making 💩happen until he gets cash. Don’t let your circumstances derail you from your dreams.
October 3, 2025 at 6:02 PM
A crack head never wakes up and says, “I don’t have any money so I guess I won’t be smoking any crack today.”
He’s making 💩happen until he gets cash. Don’t let your circumstances derail you from your dreams.
He’s making 💩happen until he gets cash. Don’t let your circumstances derail you from your dreams.
You’re missing some legends.
August 8, 2025 at 6:12 PM
You’re missing some legends.
Now that he’s older, Larry Bird looks like shit.
July 9, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Now that he’s older, Larry Bird looks like shit.
I’m a big NFL fan. We’ve never had the number of outlets that give you such massive amounts of info on the NFL. ESPN, NFL Network, Fox Sports, Regional Networks, internet sites. It’s staggering. But to this day I think I was better informed as a kid by these two magazines that all of today’s media.
July 8, 2025 at 3:46 PM
I’m a big NFL fan. We’ve never had the number of outlets that give you such massive amounts of info on the NFL. ESPN, NFL Network, Fox Sports, Regional Networks, internet sites. It’s staggering. But to this day I think I was better informed as a kid by these two magazines that all of today’s media.
Twilight Zone The Movie came out 40 years ago and this fucking rabbit still scares me.
June 27, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Twilight Zone The Movie came out 40 years ago and this fucking rabbit still scares me.
My solution to our country’s gun problem?
All guns are outlawed and not to be used. Every person is required to carry a samurai sword in public. All must learn the way of the blade.
No one would be angry at bank robbers. They earned that 💩.
All guns are outlawed and not to be used. Every person is required to carry a samurai sword in public. All must learn the way of the blade.
No one would be angry at bank robbers. They earned that 💩.
June 8, 2025 at 2:21 AM
My solution to our country’s gun problem?
All guns are outlawed and not to be used. Every person is required to carry a samurai sword in public. All must learn the way of the blade.
No one would be angry at bank robbers. They earned that 💩.
All guns are outlawed and not to be used. Every person is required to carry a samurai sword in public. All must learn the way of the blade.
No one would be angry at bank robbers. They earned that 💩.
My wife and I have much different perceptions of her cat.
April 12, 2025 at 5:52 PM
My wife and I have much different perceptions of her cat.
My daughter asked me what time it was.
April 11, 2025 at 8:02 PM
My daughter asked me what time it was.
What?!? Trump looks like a bag of shit. He’s a tub of goo. No one would actually want to look like this. Who is paying that woman to lie?
April 11, 2025 at 5:44 PM
What?!? Trump looks like a bag of shit. He’s a tub of goo. No one would actually want to look like this. Who is paying that woman to lie?
“Looking back on when I was a little nappy headed boy.
And my only worry is what for Christmas what would be my toy.
I wish those days could come back once more
Why did those days ever have to go?
'Cause I love them so.”
And my only worry is what for Christmas what would be my toy.
I wish those days could come back once more
Why did those days ever have to go?
'Cause I love them so.”
March 21, 2025 at 3:15 PM
“Looking back on when I was a little nappy headed boy.
And my only worry is what for Christmas what would be my toy.
I wish those days could come back once more
Why did those days ever have to go?
'Cause I love them so.”
And my only worry is what for Christmas what would be my toy.
I wish those days could come back once more
Why did those days ever have to go?
'Cause I love them so.”
So… Bugs Bunny cartoons have been lying to me for 60 years?!?
March 21, 2025 at 3:09 PM
So… Bugs Bunny cartoons have been lying to me for 60 years?!?
An SNL skit that had Jake Peralta, Ted Lasso and Leslie Knope.
March 16, 2025 at 9:38 PM
An SNL skit that had Jake Peralta, Ted Lasso and Leslie Knope.
This 🦝 is one of the many reasons I rarely go to Twitter anymore.
February 12, 2025 at 3:03 PM
This 🦝 is one of the many reasons I rarely go to Twitter anymore.
How did I finally know I was old? When Mrs Howell became a viable third option.
January 27, 2025 at 8:29 PM
How did I finally know I was old? When Mrs Howell became a viable third option.
“Thank God you answered the phone! I need a monkey, a raccoon and… I probably should get an alligator too. When? By next Thursday. You can? Great! Thanks man! Call you later.”
If you weren’t alive I couldn’t possibly explain the 1970s to you.
January 26, 2025 at 11:39 PM
“Thank God you answered the phone! I need a monkey, a raccoon and… I probably should get an alligator too. When? By next Thursday. You can? Great! Thanks man! Call you later.”
If you weren’t alive I couldn’t possibly explain the 1970s to you.
Parents in 2022: : “We must prioritize safety and take precautions in all children’s activities.”
Parents in 1945: “Quit being a little bitch and ride that crocodile!”
Parents in 1945: “Quit being a little bitch and ride that crocodile!”
January 26, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Parents in 2022: : “We must prioritize safety and take precautions in all children’s activities.”
Parents in 1945: “Quit being a little bitch and ride that crocodile!”
Parents in 1945: “Quit being a little bitch and ride that crocodile!”
True! Even better than Patrick Stewart as Professor X.
January 9, 2025 at 1:23 PM
True! Even better than Patrick Stewart as Professor X.
The resemblance is uncanny.
January 6, 2025 at 9:03 PM
The resemblance is uncanny.
I am fucked like you wouldn’t believe.
January 6, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I am fucked like you wouldn’t believe.