The rain is forecast to stop about 20 minutes after I get to work and forecast to restart the moment I finish, because OF COURSE IT FUCKING IS

The worst bit about cycling in the rain isn't the rain. I've got waterproofs for that. No, the worst bit is the fact that whenever I turn my head to see what's behind me or to look out for traffic at a junction, I end up looking inside my own fucking hood

Imagine thinking autumn is better than summer though

Trite or shite?

Mind you, I'm sure a lot of it is that insipid piano shite soundtracking it

I hate that sandy little wanker

Finally got me arse into gear and added the highlights

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS?!

I simply don't like beans

Absolutely. I'm happy to confirm that they were

Haven't had a spam DM request for a while. Might well be the first one that's not from someone claiming to be Jennifer Aniston

"Where's the X? Where's the Y?" Where's your mates