Gareth George
@groanman.bsky.social
Pun writer. My mates describe me as being 'unadventurous'. I wouldn't go that far. I grew up in a small town after my parents abandoned me in a model village.
Used to be on 'X' as @groanman2020 🏴
Used to be on 'X' as @groanman2020 🏴
Pinned
Gareth George
@groanman.bsky.social
· Nov 16
I'm in Kyoto for the World Anagram Championships. Turns out, it's in Tokyo.
I failed to retain my title at the World Agoraphobic Championships. I went out in the first round.
January 23, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I failed to retain my title at the World Agoraphobic Championships. I went out in the first round.
I once dated a bearded lady from the Ku Klux Klan. She was a freak in the sheets.
January 15, 2025 at 8:07 AM
I once dated a bearded lady from the Ku Klux Klan. She was a freak in the sheets.
Last Valentine’s Day, I cooked a lovely meal before setting up a romantic home-cinema with flowers and candles etc for my fiancée, and we watched Usain Bolt running his 100 metres world record of 9.58 seconds. I know how to show a girl a good time.
December 13, 2024 at 5:26 PM
Last Valentine’s Day, I cooked a lovely meal before setting up a romantic home-cinema with flowers and candles etc for my fiancée, and we watched Usain Bolt running his 100 metres world record of 9.58 seconds. I know how to show a girl a good time.
Reposted by Gareth George
My colleagues in the underwear section of this clothes store don’t like me much, due to my constant use of innuendo, but I’m pretty big in the trouser department.
December 9, 2024 at 7:01 PM
My colleagues in the underwear section of this clothes store don’t like me much, due to my constant use of innuendo, but I’m pretty big in the trouser department.
My colleagues in the underwear section of this clothes store don’t like me much, due to my constant use of innuendo, but I’m pretty big in the trouser department.
December 9, 2024 at 7:01 PM
My colleagues in the underwear section of this clothes store don’t like me much, due to my constant use of innuendo, but I’m pretty big in the trouser department.
When Barry Met Sally
#JohnsInMoviesOrSongs
#JohnsInMoviesOrSongs
December 7, 2024 at 3:17 PM
When Barry Met Sally
#JohnsInMoviesOrSongs
#JohnsInMoviesOrSongs
When I met my first girlfriend, Lacey Veil, I thought “She sounds like marriage material.”
December 7, 2024 at 3:09 PM
When I met my first girlfriend, Lacey Veil, I thought “She sounds like marriage material.”
A lack of health and safety measures last Christmas saw accidents involving Santa Claus going through the roof.
December 4, 2024 at 8:16 AM
A lack of health and safety measures last Christmas saw accidents involving Santa Claus going through the roof.
Reposted by Gareth George
BREAKING: Roger Daltrey starts fight with ‘Lord of the Rings’ author, ruining writer’s speech on sloe berry spirits.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
November 30, 2024 at 5:49 PM
BREAKING: Roger Daltrey starts fight with ‘Lord of the Rings’ author, ruining writer’s speech on sloe berry spirits.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
BREAKING: Roger Daltrey starts fight with ‘Lord of the Rings’ author, ruining writer’s speech on sloe berry spirits.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
November 30, 2024 at 5:49 PM
BREAKING: Roger Daltrey starts fight with ‘Lord of the Rings’ author, ruining writer’s speech on sloe berry spirits.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
Tolkien bout marred gin oration.
Reposted by Gareth George
My dog never does his business in the garden if it's raining, in case it damages his laptop.
November 27, 2024 at 8:06 PM
My dog never does his business in the garden if it's raining, in case it damages his laptop.
Reposted by Gareth George
I've just completed my one-touch football exam. Passed first time.
November 30, 2024 at 10:05 AM
I've just completed my one-touch football exam. Passed first time.
I've just completed my one-touch football exam. Passed first time.
November 30, 2024 at 10:05 AM
I've just completed my one-touch football exam. Passed first time.
I’m hoping to become the UK’s leading solar power expert, but it won’t happen overnight.
November 29, 2024 at 7:17 AM
I’m hoping to become the UK’s leading solar power expert, but it won’t happen overnight.
Reposted by Gareth George
Me: Where do I find books on celebrities obsessed with motor racing?
Librarian: They're under star disorders.
Librarian: They're under star disorders.
November 28, 2024 at 3:00 PM
Me: Where do I find books on celebrities obsessed with motor racing?
Librarian: They're under star disorders.
Librarian: They're under star disorders.
My dog never does his business in the garden if it's raining, in case it damages his laptop.
November 27, 2024 at 8:06 PM
My dog never does his business in the garden if it's raining, in case it damages his laptop.
Reposted by Gareth George
The inventor of email has died following a failed skydive attempt. He couldn’t get the attachment to open.
November 24, 2024 at 12:30 PM
The inventor of email has died following a failed skydive attempt. He couldn’t get the attachment to open.
Reposted by Gareth George
Puma trainers are expensive. Well, it is a dangerous job.
November 25, 2024 at 7:13 AM
Puma trainers are expensive. Well, it is a dangerous job.
Reposted by Gareth George
Guessing which one of the Seven Dwarves came to my fancy dress party as a mathematical equation should have been difficult, but it was Sneezy as pi.
November 26, 2024 at 7:27 AM
Guessing which one of the Seven Dwarves came to my fancy dress party as a mathematical equation should have been difficult, but it was Sneezy as pi.
Guessing which one of the Seven Dwarves came to my fancy dress party as a mathematical equation should have been difficult, but it was Sneezy as pi.
November 26, 2024 at 7:27 AM
Guessing which one of the Seven Dwarves came to my fancy dress party as a mathematical equation should have been difficult, but it was Sneezy as pi.
My mates and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most antique dog-walking accessories. I’ve taken an early lead.
November 25, 2024 at 8:02 PM
My mates and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most antique dog-walking accessories. I’ve taken an early lead.
Puma trainers are expensive. Well, it is a dangerous job.
November 25, 2024 at 7:13 AM
Puma trainers are expensive. Well, it is a dangerous job.