Genuinely can’t understand how there are people who believe this was a rogue action that just happened to be done by exactly the number of senators who needed to vote that way and also none of their seats are in immediate danger.

And the government, btw, will pull out all the stops to save the cratering investors while we all burn.

This…shouldn’t be something a person can do, but I’m glad someone can.

Rumors continue that the Metaverse is actually just a massive mind prison for the inventor of the adblocker, and if you listen closely you can hear his cries of despair.

Some Amazon stockholders are wondering why Jeff Bezos will only hold earnings calls at night and refuses to take allow anyone into his office that is wearing silver. Other stockholders are, naturally, beating those stockholders to death with copies of Bezos’ book, “Invent and Wander.”

Mark Zuckerberg beat a panda to death with a claw hammer calling it a “proof of concept,” but some insiders are suggesting he just wanted to murder a panda.

Sam Altman says the US must continue providing orphans if they wish to remain competitive in the dynamic AI market. “Look, it’s no big deal. I mean…orphans, am I right?” Elon Musk is investing heavily in a company that will murder parents to keep supplies coming.

Wait, it’s a fucking what now? And it costs WHAT NOW?!?