Can’t wait to say ‘comedian’ when someone ask what I do and for it to be followed up with: ‘what kind of memes do you make?’

Happy International Women’s Day to everyone and anyone that stayed up late last night waiting for Bea Arthur, Maya Angelou, and Lucy Liu to come down the chimney and leave tax-free feminine hygiene products under their Rabbit device. 🫶
Many happy Chappell Roans to all

Me: Phantom of the Opera! Sounds scary. Like a ghost that murders Opera goers?
Gaston Leroux: no, he actually super loves the opera and he can sing almost professionally.
Me: Does he rob everyone and is a menace?
GL: mostly, he wants the best possible show to happen
Me: …
GL: and he’s sooo ugly!

There’s two types of people:
those that watch someone run for a bus and hope they miss it or hope they make it.

You’re going to tariff Canada?
You’re going to tariff: Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey, Neil Young, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Mike Myers, Justin Bieber, Seth Rogan, Pamela Anderson, Will Arnett, Kiefer Sutherland, Donald Sutherland, deadmau5, Tommy Chong, Tom Green,

The Rules of Acquisition
(Also think GoodFellas too)

In celebration of being depressed in 2022 I watched all the Netflix Marvel Television Universe. (Now available on Disney+ probably)

Here’s my entirely far too in-depth review.

If Plan A doesn’t work we can move to

Apple TV is the new HBO
(HBO) Max is the new Fox
Disney+, Netflix, Prime are the new ABC, NBC, CBS respectively
A24 is the new AMC
I will not be explaining myself

Any sandwich is an ice cream sandwich if you try hard enough

I am once again begging streaming services to create a shuffle play button (minus two parters) for sitcom binging: Seinfeld, The Office, Arrested Development.
We need chaos viewing back

Got my first real six-string. Bought it at Lutes-R-us. Played it til my fingers needed leeches. Was the summer of ‘69!
The summer of 1469!
Whoa me and the serfs never seen a potato. Oh we def couldn’t read. But found a cool rock in a river and becoming the town dentist because of it.
Summer of ‘69!

I’ve always been a fan of Danny Elfman but terrified of Donny Gremlinman

The undeniable Peep Show urge to call every single Suze I meet -
“Big Suze”