Graham Chatterley
@grahamchatterley.bsky.social
School leader, behaviour specialist/consultant across all sectors and Author of Changing Perceptions
By all means
October 5, 2025 at 6:37 PM
By all means
Cheers I'll have a look
October 5, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Cheers I'll have a look
@elizafricker.bsky.social @raesnape.bsky.social @georginadurrant.bsky.social @heatherlucas.bsky.social @irctrauma.bsky.social @creativestar.bsky.social @jennknussen.bsky.social @sendwarriormum.bsky.social @nb87120292.bsky.social @psalisbury.bsky.social @teamsquarepeg.bsky.social
October 5, 2025 at 7:29 AM
@abbyaug.bsky.social @aaronearlyyears.bsky.social @simonknight100.bsky.social @lisal24.bsky.social @johncosgrove.bsky.social @suecowley.bsky.social @drpam.bsky.social @davemcpartlin.bsky.social @debrakidd.bsky.social @edfinch.bsky.social @emmal.bsky.social @heard-edublog.bsky.social
October 5, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Vulnerability is not a weakness and empathy is the master key for working WITH parents, we have to stop the punitive and dismissive doing TO if we ever want things to get better
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Vulnerability is not a weakness and empathy is the master key for working WITH parents, we have to stop the punitive and dismissive doing TO if we ever want things to get better
But this training was inspired by a podcast conversation here I shared more of my personal journey. I think it's going to be my best. It also comes at a time when parent/school relationships are on a knife edge
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
But this training was inspired by a podcast conversation here I shared more of my personal journey. I think it's going to be my best. It also comes at a time when parent/school relationships are on a knife edge
It's an emotional session for everyone, especially me
I've always shared snippets of my SEND parent experience in my training before, especially in more specialist settings
I've always shared snippets of my SEND parent experience in my training before, especially in more specialist settings
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
It's an emotional session for everyone, especially me
I've always shared snippets of my SEND parent experience in my training before, especially in more specialist settings
I've always shared snippets of my SEND parent experience in my training before, especially in more specialist settings
...And finally we seek to best understand the journey of the SEND parent, a journey to acceptance that passes through denial, blame, anger, lost relationships and isolation
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...And finally we seek to best understand the journey of the SEND parent, a journey to acceptance that passes through denial, blame, anger, lost relationships and isolation
...These parents are extremely vulnerable to FB groups etc that will become echo chambers that can make our lives hell. Seems harsh but we can prevent it or we can moan about it...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...These parents are extremely vulnerable to FB groups etc that will become echo chambers that can make our lives hell. Seems harsh but we can prevent it or we can moan about it...
... Often, attack is the best form of defence, many of these parents have been fighting professionals for their children non stop
Validation is everything, and if we don't give it they will seek it elsewhere...
Validation is everything, and if we don't give it they will seek it elsewhere...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
... Often, attack is the best form of defence, many of these parents have been fighting professionals for their children non stop
Validation is everything, and if we don't give it they will seek it elsewhere...
Validation is everything, and if we don't give it they will seek it elsewhere...
...This meant time was spent to focus on regulation and de-escalation is just as important for adults as it is for children, and needs a foundation of emotional safety and trust.
This is very rarely achieved by authority...
This is very rarely achieved by authority...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...This meant time was spent to focus on regulation and de-escalation is just as important for adults as it is for children, and needs a foundation of emotional safety and trust.
This is very rarely achieved by authority...
This is very rarely achieved by authority...
...When we perceive someone has hurt our child (rightly or wrongly) is an extremely high (potentially unrealistic) expectation to expect immediate rational and logical behaviour
Shutting parents down for being emotionally dysregulated is a cop out...
Shutting parents down for being emotionally dysregulated is a cop out...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...When we perceive someone has hurt our child (rightly or wrongly) is an extremely high (potentially unrealistic) expectation to expect immediate rational and logical behaviour
Shutting parents down for being emotionally dysregulated is a cop out...
Shutting parents down for being emotionally dysregulated is a cop out...
...Through the social discipline window to understand where development gaps are coming from and why it's more complex than just poor parenting
To the fact that these are our babies, expectations of rational, logical, "good" behaviour...
To the fact that these are our babies, expectations of rational, logical, "good" behaviour...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...Through the social discipline window to understand where development gaps are coming from and why it's more complex than just poor parenting
To the fact that these are our babies, expectations of rational, logical, "good" behaviour...
To the fact that these are our babies, expectations of rational, logical, "good" behaviour...
...We acknowledged that we can't connect on an experiences level with them, but that doesn't mean we can't connect
We found ways to validate parents, even when we disagree with them, even when we can't achieve or give them what they want
How?...
We found ways to validate parents, even when we disagree with them, even when we can't achieve or give them what they want
How?...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...We acknowledged that we can't connect on an experiences level with them, but that doesn't mean we can't connect
We found ways to validate parents, even when we disagree with them, even when we can't achieve or give them what they want
How?...
We found ways to validate parents, even when we disagree with them, even when we can't achieve or give them what they want
How?...
...We got there by having the vent, by offloading those frustrations, by throwing out the blame, and then by working it through from a place of curiosity
We never excused any behaviours but we did seek explanations...
We never excused any behaviours but we did seek explanations...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...We got there by having the vent, by offloading those frustrations, by throwing out the blame, and then by working it through from a place of curiosity
We never excused any behaviours but we did seek explanations...
We never excused any behaviours but we did seek explanations...
...One which started from a place of frustration, hopelessness, and if honest (which they were) some assumption and blame. Believing that relationships were unrepairable
To a place of empathy, understanding and hope. With a new desire to rebuild and work 'WITH'...
To a place of empathy, understanding and hope. With a new desire to rebuild and work 'WITH'...
October 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
...One which started from a place of frustration, hopelessness, and if honest (which they were) some assumption and blame. Believing that relationships were unrepairable
To a place of empathy, understanding and hope. With a new desire to rebuild and work 'WITH'...
To a place of empathy, understanding and hope. With a new desire to rebuild and work 'WITH'...
It's not about attention, it's about engagement.
Michael Rosen uses his platform for good and abandoning that network created would be a waste
It takes time to rebuild, it's not as simple as just switching over
Michael Rosen uses his platform for good and abandoning that network created would be a waste
It takes time to rebuild, it's not as simple as just switching over
May 31, 2025 at 1:37 PM
It's not about attention, it's about engagement.
Michael Rosen uses his platform for good and abandoning that network created would be a waste
It takes time to rebuild, it's not as simple as just switching over
Michael Rosen uses his platform for good and abandoning that network created would be a waste
It takes time to rebuild, it's not as simple as just switching over
Like I say, a desperation move
May 24, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Like I say, a desperation move
Silent corridors is either a desperation response or a power trip
May 24, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Silent corridors is either a desperation response or a power trip
Absolutely, it's internal vs external
But I think some really like the power
But I think some really like the power
May 24, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Absolutely, it's internal vs external
But I think some really like the power
But I think some really like the power