Graham Brack
@grahambrack.bsky.social
Crime novelist and assistant curate in Northamptonshire
"They are nice, aren't they? I got them on eBay." #GirlsOwnCC
November 23, 2025 at 6:22 PM
"They are nice, aren't they? I got them on eBay." #GirlsOwnCC
It’s how I was taught to do it.
November 18, 2025 at 4:05 PM
It’s how I was taught to do it.
My midwife cousin baptised children before I got to do it for just that reason.
November 18, 2025 at 4:03 PM
My midwife cousin baptised children before I got to do it for just that reason.
"Excuse me - my husband was here yesterday; can you direct me to a Rubens painting called Three Fat Tarts having a paddle?" #GirlsOwnCC
November 16, 2025 at 6:09 PM
"Excuse me - my husband was here yesterday; can you direct me to a Rubens painting called Three Fat Tarts having a paddle?" #GirlsOwnCC
"I don't care who painted it, dear. I'm just looking for a bluish painting 46 inches by 32 to fit an alcove in the downstairs cloakroom." #GirlsOwnCC
November 16, 2025 at 6:05 PM
"I don't care who painted it, dear. I'm just looking for a bluish painting 46 inches by 32 to fit an alcove in the downstairs cloakroom." #GirlsOwnCC
"There must be *someone* in Yellow Pages who finds missing left legs, Charles." #GirlsOwnCC
November 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
"There must be *someone* in Yellow Pages who finds missing left legs, Charles." #GirlsOwnCC
"Nineteen years for stealing a loaf of bread, you say? What's wrong with a good old-fashioned hanging like when I was a nipper?" #GirlsOwnCC
November 2, 2025 at 6:26 PM
"Nineteen years for stealing a loaf of bread, you say? What's wrong with a good old-fashioned hanging like when I was a nipper?" #GirlsOwnCC
"Don't worry, Tess. You'll never have to speak to Craig Revel Horwood again." #GirlsOwnCC
October 26, 2025 at 6:19 PM
"Don't worry, Tess. You'll never have to speak to Craig Revel Horwood again." #GirlsOwnCC
“Let’s face it, Daphne, you wouldn’t have to do this if you hadn’t run over Father’s collie.” #GirlsOwnCC
October 19, 2025 at 7:39 PM
“Let’s face it, Daphne, you wouldn’t have to do this if you hadn’t run over Father’s collie.” #GirlsOwnCC
Beryl's Mexican holiday diary. 1. First ever plate of chilli con carne. 2. A certain amount of digestive disturbance. 3. Husband behind me leaves me a widow. #GirlsOwnCC
October 12, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Beryl's Mexican holiday diary. 1. First ever plate of chilli con carne. 2. A certain amount of digestive disturbance. 3. Husband behind me leaves me a widow. #GirlsOwnCC
"That bustle's goin' to 'ave to go dead centre, bosun, or she'll capsize." #GirlsOwnCC
October 5, 2025 at 5:21 PM
"That bustle's goin' to 'ave to go dead centre, bosun, or she'll capsize." #GirlsOwnCC
'Tis no good, Admiral, that disguise ain't foolin' nobody. 'Cept the chaplain, I s'pose, an' 'e don't get out much. #GirlsOwnCC
October 5, 2025 at 5:19 PM
'Tis no good, Admiral, that disguise ain't foolin' nobody. 'Cept the chaplain, I s'pose, an' 'e don't get out much. #GirlsOwnCC
“Yes, we all know you were Mr January in the Pig-Farmers’ Monthly 1865 Calendar, Joe.” #GirlsOwnCC
September 21, 2025 at 6:35 PM
“Yes, we all know you were Mr January in the Pig-Farmers’ Monthly 1865 Calendar, Joe.” #GirlsOwnCC
“Honestly, if my brother doesn’t stop rubbing in that men have pockets and we don’t I may need to borrow Mary’s parasol and erect it where the sun will not shine upon it.” #GirlsOwnCC
September 14, 2025 at 5:25 PM
“Honestly, if my brother doesn’t stop rubbing in that men have pockets and we don’t I may need to borrow Mary’s parasol and erect it where the sun will not shine upon it.” #GirlsOwnCC
“Don’t be such a drama queen, Celia! I’ll go back down and fetch your wretched palette.” #GirlsOwnCC
September 8, 2025 at 1:48 PM
“Don’t be such a drama queen, Celia! I’ll go back down and fetch your wretched palette.” #GirlsOwnCC
Bother! I knew there was something…
August 24, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Bother! I knew there was something…
"Sergeant, if you want to pass as a painter while we stake out their hideout, why are you looking at a landscape and painting Whistler's Mother?" #GirlsOwnCC
August 24, 2025 at 5:22 PM
"Sergeant, if you want to pass as a painter while we stake out their hideout, why are you looking at a landscape and painting Whistler's Mother?" #GirlsOwnCC
"Maybe saying girls can't throw for toffee wasn't a good idea when your sister has one of her rock cakes in her hand." #GirlsOwnCC
August 17, 2025 at 5:17 PM
"Maybe saying girls can't throw for toffee wasn't a good idea when your sister has one of her rock cakes in her hand." #GirlsOwnCC
"The thing is, Your Lordship, you're meant to lower the bucket using the handle, not take it off the hook and heave it and your kitten to a grisly death in a foul-smelling black hole." #GirlsOwnCC
August 10, 2025 at 6:01 PM
"The thing is, Your Lordship, you're meant to lower the bucket using the handle, not take it off the hook and heave it and your kitten to a grisly death in a foul-smelling black hole." #GirlsOwnCC