dave
@graeyalien.bsky.social
I'll never ask for your personal information such as SSN or ATM PIN in Bluesky messages. If you get a mention from me that looks suspicious or you are not the intended recipient of please contact Bluesky support. Aspiring stand-up.
If you ever see a car dashboard with a bunch of rubber duckies lined up across the dashboard that signifies the driver was a member of the Aryan Brotherhood in prison. Signaling to their racist brethren. If the rubber duckies are a bunch of different colors? You don't want to know.
August 14, 2025 at 4:32 PM
If you ever see a car dashboard with a bunch of rubber duckies lined up across the dashboard that signifies the driver was a member of the Aryan Brotherhood in prison. Signaling to their racist brethren. If the rubber duckies are a bunch of different colors? You don't want to know.
Hoisting a lantern through the aisles of a brightly lit Target. Slipping packs of AAA batteries in my dark grey robe.
August 7, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Hoisting a lantern through the aisles of a brightly lit Target. Slipping packs of AAA batteries in my dark grey robe.
Oh noooooo, I got matched up with Santa Claus at Roast Battle
August 5, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Oh noooooo, I got matched up with Santa Claus at Roast Battle
Reposted by dave
LUKE: What do you think it would be like, R2? To drill Master Yoda in his green old ass?
R2-D2: 🎵🎶🎵🎵
LUKE: You're right. And doing that crazy puppet face. Making his Miss Piggy sounds.
R2-D2: 🎶🎵—
(knocking on wall)
YODA: hear you both through wall I can
R2-D2: 🎵🎶🎵🎵
LUKE: You're right. And doing that crazy puppet face. Making his Miss Piggy sounds.
R2-D2: 🎶🎵—
(knocking on wall)
YODA: hear you both through wall I can
August 4, 2025 at 2:46 AM
LUKE: What do you think it would be like, R2? To drill Master Yoda in his green old ass?
R2-D2: 🎵🎶🎵🎵
LUKE: You're right. And doing that crazy puppet face. Making his Miss Piggy sounds.
R2-D2: 🎶🎵—
(knocking on wall)
YODA: hear you both through wall I can
R2-D2: 🎵🎶🎵🎵
LUKE: You're right. And doing that crazy puppet face. Making his Miss Piggy sounds.
R2-D2: 🎶🎵—
(knocking on wall)
YODA: hear you both through wall I can
The dormant volcano is where the real action is. Lovers of shale grey congregate safely around the base. Tables of saltines and water lead to reserved discussions on various sorts of inert geological phenomena. All a cover of course. Later that night the shale grey latex comes. Kink beyond imagine.
August 4, 2025 at 2:46 PM
The dormant volcano is where the real action is. Lovers of shale grey congregate safely around the base. Tables of saltines and water lead to reserved discussions on various sorts of inert geological phenomena. All a cover of course. Later that night the shale grey latex comes. Kink beyond imagine.
what are some tips for being gay to get back at your father?
August 4, 2025 at 5:40 AM
what are some tips for being gay to get back at your father?
Bartender, make me an Aperol Spritz but make it look like it's from Bloodborne. Oh, it's a videogame. Here I'll show you some gameplay clips. I'm actually surprised you haven't heard of it.
August 3, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Bartender, make me an Aperol Spritz but make it look like it's from Bloodborne. Oh, it's a videogame. Here I'll show you some gameplay clips. I'm actually surprised you haven't heard of it.
*PETE DAVIDSON ENTERS DOOR EXASPERATED* GREAT, JUST GREAT! NOW YOU NEED A FUCKING TEACUP MONKEY TO GO VIRAL! *GHISLAINE MAXWELL SITTING ON COUCH* WELL IF YOU KEEP COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT IT, I'M GOING TO GET AN AD FOR ONE ON INSTAGRAM
Spec script I'm writing in case they pardon Ghislaine Maxwell
Spec script I'm writing in case they pardon Ghislaine Maxwell
August 3, 2025 at 6:37 PM
*PETE DAVIDSON ENTERS DOOR EXASPERATED* GREAT, JUST GREAT! NOW YOU NEED A FUCKING TEACUP MONKEY TO GO VIRAL! *GHISLAINE MAXWELL SITTING ON COUCH* WELL IF YOU KEEP COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT IT, I'M GOING TO GET AN AD FOR ONE ON INSTAGRAM
Spec script I'm writing in case they pardon Ghislaine Maxwell
Spec script I'm writing in case they pardon Ghislaine Maxwell
I only paid 29 bucks for my microwave but it plays the advertisement vids from gas pumps on the front when you're heating something up and you can't turn them off. I'm lonely, that's unrelated to the microwave joke.
August 3, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I only paid 29 bucks for my microwave but it plays the advertisement vids from gas pumps on the front when you're heating something up and you can't turn them off. I'm lonely, that's unrelated to the microwave joke.
I love when blonde girls put tons of feathers and snakeskins and flowers and tassels and ferns in their hair and intertwine a Xbox 360 controller in a big braid in the back. it looks so hot.
August 3, 2025 at 2:38 AM
I love when blonde girls put tons of feathers and snakeskins and flowers and tassels and ferns in their hair and intertwine a Xbox 360 controller in a big braid in the back. it looks so hot.
Hey can I watch your dog run and play around? I forgot to bring my dogs
August 3, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Hey can I watch your dog run and play around? I forgot to bring my dogs
Final Fantasy Tactics taught me my turn based pussy eating style
August 3, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Final Fantasy Tactics taught me my turn based pussy eating style
I was just on one of the other decentralized Bluesky servers. It's crazy. There's all these obnoxious ads about getting black mold removed from your pussy like every other post. Some guy posted a vid of him doing a line of cocaine off a chicken nugget.
August 2, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I was just on one of the other decentralized Bluesky servers. It's crazy. There's all these obnoxious ads about getting black mold removed from your pussy like every other post. Some guy posted a vid of him doing a line of cocaine off a chicken nugget.
The haunted Victorian doll I own that's been appearing in different parts of my bedroom without me moving her got a DUI last night. Got the call at 3 am. I am absolutely gutted. I was really looking forward to Haunted Victorian Dollcon and seeing the beleaguered faces of all the other Vicdos.
August 1, 2025 at 12:38 PM
The haunted Victorian doll I own that's been appearing in different parts of my bedroom without me moving her got a DUI last night. Got the call at 3 am. I am absolutely gutted. I was really looking forward to Haunted Victorian Dollcon and seeing the beleaguered faces of all the other Vicdos.
I think they should put a toy inside of every quart of lo mein. Overlooking the racism and safety concerns the obvious choice is a small shuriken.
July 30, 2025 at 8:02 PM
I think they should put a toy inside of every quart of lo mein. Overlooking the racism and safety concerns the obvious choice is a small shuriken.
The "Secret of Skinwalker Ranch" is the name of the hard cider varietal they sell produced from the orchard out back. If you buy a growler they take you on a short tour and tell you skinwalkers aren't real.
July 30, 2025 at 5:38 PM
The "Secret of Skinwalker Ranch" is the name of the hard cider varietal they sell produced from the orchard out back. If you buy a growler they take you on a short tour and tell you skinwalkers aren't real.
Spending days traveling through the Amazonian rainforest to accuse the shaman of being addicted to Ayahuasca and staging an intervention
July 30, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Spending days traveling through the Amazonian rainforest to accuse the shaman of being addicted to Ayahuasca and staging an intervention
Yeah, the guy uses all his Holodeck time just sitting in the corner smoking crack. He doesn't even decorate it like a hotel room or anything, it's just the straight grid. He's sober on the ship. There's no rule against it but we've all lost a little respect for him. Generates a crack pipe every time
July 30, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Yeah, the guy uses all his Holodeck time just sitting in the corner smoking crack. He doesn't even decorate it like a hotel room or anything, it's just the straight grid. He's sober on the ship. There's no rule against it but we've all lost a little respect for him. Generates a crack pipe every time
“How to Jack Off Your Cock" is Michael Pollan’s sweeping and often thrilling chronicle of the history of self stimulation … intertwined with a self‑deprecating travelogue of his own cautious but ultimately transformative adventures as a middle‑aged masturbatory novice.”
July 30, 2025 at 12:06 PM
“How to Jack Off Your Cock" is Michael Pollan’s sweeping and often thrilling chronicle of the history of self stimulation … intertwined with a self‑deprecating travelogue of his own cautious but ultimately transformative adventures as a middle‑aged masturbatory novice.”
Stop thAt!! Enough! My damn dogs keep tribbing. Sprinkling cayenne pepper on their dog pussies
July 30, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Stop thAt!! Enough! My damn dogs keep tribbing. Sprinkling cayenne pepper on their dog pussies
Leon Black getting Duolingo style notifications that he's atop the Epstein List rankings. Leon, you haven't visited the island in four days! Don't lose your streak!
July 30, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Leon Black getting Duolingo style notifications that he's atop the Epstein List rankings. Leon, you haven't visited the island in four days! Don't lose your streak!
Anyone else noticing roughneck conservatives have been slowly phasing out the Punisher decals for Wyvern stickers on the back of their pickup truck windows? Wyvern with a blue stripe down its wings? Ok...
July 30, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Anyone else noticing roughneck conservatives have been slowly phasing out the Punisher decals for Wyvern stickers on the back of their pickup truck windows? Wyvern with a blue stripe down its wings? Ok...
Sonic the Hedgehog can only run that fast because he doesn't have a scrotum. It's not that big of a deal tbh
July 30, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Sonic the Hedgehog can only run that fast because he doesn't have a scrotum. It's not that big of a deal tbh
A lot of missing cat posters you see are just put up by needy people on vacation who miss their cat at home
July 30, 2025 at 9:17 AM
A lot of missing cat posters you see are just put up by needy people on vacation who miss their cat at home
Seagulls only target white people food. If you bring a plate of soul food and leave it on the beach it will remain completely unperturbed. Hold a big bowl of bibimbap over your head, they won't touch it. These common sea birds are vehemently racist.
July 30, 2025 at 9:10 AM
Seagulls only target white people food. If you bring a plate of soul food and leave it on the beach it will remain completely unperturbed. Hold a big bowl of bibimbap over your head, they won't touch it. These common sea birds are vehemently racist.