Graeme Writes
@graemeth.bsky.social
someone trying to fertilize eggs is either a prospective dad or misinformed gardener.
December 8, 2025 at 1:37 AM
someone trying to fertilize eggs is either a prospective dad or misinformed gardener.
Albert Einstein married his cousin. That means he discovered relativity AND relative titty.
December 6, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Albert Einstein married his cousin. That means he discovered relativity AND relative titty.
Men and women are both hot. I just don’t understand why anyone would want to live with a man.
December 6, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Men and women are both hot. I just don’t understand why anyone would want to live with a man.
Possessive ghost won’t share my body.
December 4, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Possessive ghost won’t share my body.
In retrospect I shouldn’t have popped my bubblegum during that lockdown drill.
December 3, 2025 at 3:51 PM
In retrospect I shouldn’t have popped my bubblegum during that lockdown drill.
A klutz walks into a bar.
December 2, 2025 at 11:07 PM
A klutz walks into a bar.
To those who doubt the patriarchy I ask you why snow women always have big busts but snow men never have a hog on em.
December 2, 2025 at 12:46 PM
To those who doubt the patriarchy I ask you why snow women always have big busts but snow men never have a hog on em.
Might fuck around and buy a parasol.
December 1, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Might fuck around and buy a parasol.
Yeah, I could go pee right now. But I’d rather challenge myself.
December 1, 2025 at 12:19 PM
Yeah, I could go pee right now. But I’d rather challenge myself.
I’m literally spilling my guts out to this guy and he’s just on his phone the whole time?? calling an ambulance??
November 30, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I’m literally spilling my guts out to this guy and he’s just on his phone the whole time?? calling an ambulance??
Misread the flash mob invitation. Killed an epileptic.
November 30, 2025 at 11:14 AM
Misread the flash mob invitation. Killed an epileptic.
Sometimes I feel like God’s Plan might be more of an improv.
November 29, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Sometimes I feel like God’s Plan might be more of an improv.
Can't believe Trump pardoned the turkey from January 6
November 29, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Can't believe Trump pardoned the turkey from January 6
On my Substack today I covered the biggest stories of September as you can see.
open.substack.com/pub/squeezen...
open.substack.com/pub/squeezen...
October 1, 2025 at 11:31 PM
On my Substack today I covered the biggest stories of September as you can see.
open.substack.com/pub/squeezen...
open.substack.com/pub/squeezen...
Maybe we can convince them that bullets cause autism.
September 25, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Maybe we can convince them that bullets cause autism.
September 3, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Very excited about my August Recap, releasing on my Substack September 1st.
August 29, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Very excited about my August Recap, releasing on my Substack September 1st.
Read my guide to the news on Chortle. 🫡
Feeling overwhelmed by current events. Today’s post is a helpful guide on How to Read the News.
www.chortle.blog/p/how-to-rea...
www.chortle.blog/p/how-to-rea...
August 22, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Read my guide to the news on Chortle. 🫡
The Democrats have released their latest party strategy.
Democrats Scoop Out Eyeballs And Plow Forward On New Podcast
Following Zohran Mamdani’s decisive victory in NYC, Democratic Leaders look for creative ways to focus on the important things.
open.substack.com
June 27, 2025 at 8:03 PM
The Democrats have released their latest party strategy.
Finally watching Delicious in Dungeon and this show rules.
June 24, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Finally watching Delicious in Dungeon and this show rules.
Reposted by Graeme Writes
Launching the U.S. into what could be yet another unpopular and costly forever war, while simultaneously pushing for an unpopular budget bill at home that will take food and healthcare away from millions of people.
The "peace president."
The "peace president."
June 22, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Launching the U.S. into what could be yet another unpopular and costly forever war, while simultaneously pushing for an unpopular budget bill at home that will take food and healthcare away from millions of people.
The "peace president."
The "peace president."
I can’t believe these new polls.
Majority of Americans Agree Iran War Is A Necessary Consequence For Algebra
Polls show Iran had this coming ever since inventing algebra 1000 years ago.
open.substack.com
June 22, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I can’t believe these new polls.
I love this copy so much
June 6, 2025 at 11:01 AM
I love this copy so much