Cryschyan Goevia
@gouviakun.bsky.social
Are suicide pacts monogamous? Like, you can't have more than one suicide pact with someone? Someone just like, politely rejected my suicide pact because they were already in one and didn't want to be a cheater. This is a new phenomenon for me.
November 8, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Are suicide pacts monogamous? Like, you can't have more than one suicide pact with someone? Someone just like, politely rejected my suicide pact because they were already in one and didn't want to be a cheater. This is a new phenomenon for me.
“You shall be visited by the Ghosts of Goon Past, Present, and Future!”
“……….Actually, I take back that Bah Humbug. I’m in the holiday spirit now, thanks.”
“……….Actually, I take back that Bah Humbug. I’m in the holiday spirit now, thanks.”
October 2, 2025 at 1:45 PM
“You shall be visited by the Ghosts of Goon Past, Present, and Future!”
“……….Actually, I take back that Bah Humbug. I’m in the holiday spirit now, thanks.”
“……….Actually, I take back that Bah Humbug. I’m in the holiday spirit now, thanks.”
Apparently "I submit to no one, for all men and women are created equal under God's watchful light" is NOT an appropriate safe phrase in the bedroom. Really takes everyone out of the moment.
September 28, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Apparently "I submit to no one, for all men and women are created equal under God's watchful light" is NOT an appropriate safe phrase in the bedroom. Really takes everyone out of the moment.
If the commission price bothers you, learn the craft yourself.
September 7, 2025 at 3:27 PM
If the commission price bothers you, learn the craft yourself.
> "Plz no Liberals" in dating app bio
> "Jesus is #1" also in dating app bio
This joke wrote itself without AI
> "Jesus is #1" also in dating app bio
This joke wrote itself without AI
September 4, 2025 at 1:32 PM
> "Plz no Liberals" in dating app bio
> "Jesus is #1" also in dating app bio
This joke wrote itself without AI
> "Jesus is #1" also in dating app bio
This joke wrote itself without AI
Human beings also have an IP68 rating. Some niggas still can't swim
September 3, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Human beings also have an IP68 rating. Some niggas still can't swim
Reed: "HORSEPOWER"
Sue: "Honey please stop"
Reed: "HORSEPOWER!!"
Ben: "Come on Stretch don't do this to us—"
Reed: "ALL THIS POLO ON I GOT HORRSEPOWERR"
Johnny: "I can supernova us today man"
Sue: "Honey please stop"
Reed: "HORSEPOWER!!"
Ben: "Come on Stretch don't do this to us—"
Reed: "ALL THIS POLO ON I GOT HORRSEPOWERR"
Johnny: "I can supernova us today man"
August 1, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Reed: "HORSEPOWER"
Sue: "Honey please stop"
Reed: "HORSEPOWER!!"
Ben: "Come on Stretch don't do this to us—"
Reed: "ALL THIS POLO ON I GOT HORRSEPOWERR"
Johnny: "I can supernova us today man"
Sue: "Honey please stop"
Reed: "HORSEPOWER!!"
Ben: "Come on Stretch don't do this to us—"
Reed: "ALL THIS POLO ON I GOT HORRSEPOWERR"
Johnny: "I can supernova us today man"
So I guess the new game at the airport is finding which bathroom stall only has ONE balled up wad of tissue paper in it
July 29, 2025 at 2:59 PM
So I guess the new game at the airport is finding which bathroom stall only has ONE balled up wad of tissue paper in it
Gonna have to be brutally honest here, man. Asking someone what a pronoun IS, instead of asking them what theirs are, is a much better assessment of how dogshit stupid someone is.
July 8, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Gonna have to be brutally honest here, man. Asking someone what a pronoun IS, instead of asking them what theirs are, is a much better assessment of how dogshit stupid someone is.
"You should NEVER disrespect a man PERIOD!" Nigga I am swimming UPSTREAM on that ish my bad 😭
July 6, 2025 at 3:02 PM
"You should NEVER disrespect a man PERIOD!" Nigga I am swimming UPSTREAM on that ish my bad 😭
I am still single in my 20s with the hairline of 15yo me I should not be dreaming about being a girl Dad
July 4, 2025 at 12:21 PM
I am still single in my 20s with the hairline of 15yo me I should not be dreaming about being a girl Dad
Read history, speak to elders, access your ancestries — no government nor Kings ever truly win against the people. As weapons of war improve and increase in size and strength, so do the constituencies. And those who still think evil will prevail are in for a very rude awakening.
July 3, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Read history, speak to elders, access your ancestries — no government nor Kings ever truly win against the people. As weapons of war improve and increase in size and strength, so do the constituencies. And those who still think evil will prevail are in for a very rude awakening.
I'm 29 years old and I haven't met a true "Patriot" in more than 28.
July 2, 2025 at 1:36 PM
I'm 29 years old and I haven't met a true "Patriot" in more than 28.
The day my sister and I attempted to "come out" to my father, he quietly nodded and politely asked us both whether we needed a minute to talk about it, or if he could turn back on Netflix Daredevil Season 2.
You'd be surprised by how much "good parent" we felt in that moment.
Happy Pride.
You'd be surprised by how much "good parent" we felt in that moment.
Happy Pride.
June 24, 2025 at 1:49 PM
The day my sister and I attempted to "come out" to my father, he quietly nodded and politely asked us both whether we needed a minute to talk about it, or if he could turn back on Netflix Daredevil Season 2.
You'd be surprised by how much "good parent" we felt in that moment.
Happy Pride.
You'd be surprised by how much "good parent" we felt in that moment.
Happy Pride.
Not to compare Chris's but there are ONLY pictures and videos you can find of Chris BROWN beating and choking women for absolutely no reason. No other Chris's have been caught on tape quite like this one
June 23, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Not to compare Chris's but there are ONLY pictures and videos you can find of Chris BROWN beating and choking women for absolutely no reason. No other Chris's have been caught on tape quite like this one
If being strictly anti-war is too "woke" then Buddy I am a fuckin INSOMNIAC. I might as well be "the number of fingers on your hand keeps changing everytime I look at you" woke.
June 23, 2025 at 12:13 AM
If being strictly anti-war is too "woke" then Buddy I am a fuckin INSOMNIAC. I might as well be "the number of fingers on your hand keeps changing everytime I look at you" woke.
No cap She-Hulk could 100% smash me on the first date and I have IMMACULATE self-esteem
June 16, 2025 at 11:43 AM
No cap She-Hulk could 100% smash me on the first date and I have IMMACULATE self-esteem
Do you like your soda/pop when it's flat or thicc?
June 14, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Do you like your soda/pop when it's flat or thicc?
What is the outrage over Sabrina Carpenter's new album? When did she become super feminist and anti-men? I thought she was throwing it back on stage like 2 weeks ago?
Also if Sabrina really was Man's Best Friend, I would know. I would be telling everyone, hey. Guess who I'm best friends with.
Also if Sabrina really was Man's Best Friend, I would know. I would be telling everyone, hey. Guess who I'm best friends with.
June 12, 2025 at 12:31 PM
What is the outrage over Sabrina Carpenter's new album? When did she become super feminist and anti-men? I thought she was throwing it back on stage like 2 weeks ago?
Also if Sabrina really was Man's Best Friend, I would know. I would be telling everyone, hey. Guess who I'm best friends with.
Also if Sabrina really was Man's Best Friend, I would know. I would be telling everyone, hey. Guess who I'm best friends with.
You could get me to shit on the floor in a Walmart before you ever get me to start a podcast
June 6, 2025 at 3:11 PM
You could get me to shit on the floor in a Walmart before you ever get me to start a podcast
You get why these months and holidays matter now, right?
You do know this account is not safe for bigots, bozos, incels, bitch ass niggas, or Drake fans, right?
You do know this account is not safe for bigots, bozos, incels, bitch ass niggas, or Drake fans, right?
June 3, 2025 at 12:32 PM
You get why these months and holidays matter now, right?
You do know this account is not safe for bigots, bozos, incels, bitch ass niggas, or Drake fans, right?
You do know this account is not safe for bigots, bozos, incels, bitch ass niggas, or Drake fans, right?
Come on bro give him the Ben 10efit of the doubt
June 1, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Come on bro give him the Ben 10efit of the doubt
