Oh my Gosh GUYSSSSS.I SAW HER,and we talked
And I held her little hands and stared at those Brown eyes of hers.she got the crocs shes always wanted.and scolded me for taking her dimple.shes still so perfect.hair still thick as hell ,and she like still giggles and scolds me and fights me

Water balloon fight one time we had tension.

You know what gets weird,
Realising I havent thought about her in a while .and being upset about that.like fuck.she turned into a memory.and looks like shes gona be one I forget and it just....I dont know.

Oh.James Arthur _ September. Was my song for her

Yoh
Also this venting to a void thing helps a lot.i can breathe.about me and her .when I tell you weve been done since September but only now can I speak on her.amprix me swa

And ,now that I'm dealing with those emotions and the shame of them
It's ok.its ok that I felt that way,and even though it costed me her,its ok cause I learnt to love better,and understand love better,and myself better.i wish I could tell her I'm sorry. I wish I could sit with her and ,hold her hand

Being angry was easier.it was,when she got too busy with work,when she wasnt texting ,when she wasnt letting me know she got home safe,when she wasnt seeing me,when she was gone on those trips. Being angry was easier when she was the only woman I wanted but the only woman who didnt seem to want me.

Also.i think I was hard on myself,and her,when I started realising and "fighting" the relationship failing.it was always easier to be angry than sad whenever It hit me,and I'd like,focus that anger on me and I guess it made me harder to love .than it already was .I never saw HER,just how she

Lowkey forgot she had those little freckles,the one dimple on the opposite side of the one dimple she gave me(long short story) ,the eyebrows that never fill in,the little fingers and how she hated long nails and loved childish colours on them still.

Hi.i come back.so today for some reason I ended up on her ig. And she updated her media.GOD THAT WOMAN IS BEAUTIFUL.her skin,two toned lips,curious big bright eyes.her little smile and teeth. Yea God did a thing.and like this isnt an I want her back Post pliz,im Just taken aback

Yoh skate okang texta are ya monna

Anyway the next day she apologises ,but ah.the wound never and still hasnt healed.so I tell her to go really think about what she wants and if she wants us cause I dont ever wana have her tell me she doesnt wana be with me or something like that again.and I was at vineyard,BOJALWA BOSA TSENE

So the thing is ,up until the breakup I had always felt like I was begging for T to like,see me,to love me.so it's no shock that when we did break up it was kinda an after effect of a fight about that .she had blacked out at Amos(who I know was actively trying to get in her pants) ,and that wasnot

Ok so I'm going to actually,for the first time talk about my breakup. Or well what happened.i mean when this movie I'm watching gets boring but yea.

Ok I'm done showering .so yesterday for some reason in went through our last texts.and sure it might be childish but ,in our last messages to each other she literally said we havent texted since last year.i was asking about something ,and yea well that's what she said.

So like .I've kinda decided this will be where I like open up about my break up and how I've dealt with it and how I'm dealing with it and stuff .so you guys are fucked

So today I think I realised the link,or well how my mind associates breaking up with T with my birthday.and it never clicked till five minutes ago.the eighth was the last time I saw her saw her.i tried to get her to do our birthday tradition of little Jager shots .and it was like she wanted nothing